Jacoby Brissett might actually be a legitimate starting quarterback

I think Jacoby Brissett might be a guy. I just think Jacoby Brissett deserves credit because he's playing great football and he's been put in a situation that's probably not ideal knowing that like you're playing for your own job for your own future, but you also know that this isn't your team.

Replacing Mitchell Trubisky with Kenny Pickett won't solve the Steelers' problems

I don't think that the problems that they have to solve can be solved by going to Kenny Pickett. In fact, I think it would just kind of screw with Kenny Pickett a little bit because the team, they put him in an obviously flawed team.

A Browns Super Bowl win with Deshaun Watson would be the most hated of all time

What if the Browns go to the Super Bowl and Deshaun Watson is the quarterback... America hates this shit out of them. It should be their moment, their crowning moment of like this team has never won a Super Bowl... and you win the most hateable Super Bowl of all time.

Technically Vanny Woodhead does not exist and is legally destroyed

Technically it's destroyed. Legally it's chopped up. But I kind of, I couldn't, I didn't have the heart to chop it up, so I just been keeping it. No, one [owns it]. The, it's technically like scrap. It's a ghost car. It just hasn't been scrapped.

Zach Wilson's ceiling is literally Patrick Mahomes

Come on, Zach Wilson, his ceiling is literally Patrick Mahomes. That's a fact. If he plays to the best of his ability.

Al-Qaeda is the only one who could have written the Monday Night Football script

Running out with the flag... hard knocks... there was so much hope and hype. And, you know, talking about the NFL script, the only one who could have written that script is Al-Qaeda.