I'd rather watch Marshawn Lynch be disappointed at bad NFL games than the actual broadcast

I would just like to watch beast mode be disappointed at shitty games for the rest of the season. Just watch and be like, what the fuck are they doing out there?

Week 7 was one of the worst weeks of NFL football from start to finish

Week seven was one of the worst weeks start to finish. Cause like, remember, like we kind of forget the Browns and the Broncos played that game. That was not fun either. It was an entire week of, of Brown's Broncos.

The Astros and their fans will use a World Series win to claim they never needed to cheat

At stake is the Astros and their fan base being able to basically tell everyone that it wasn't cheating that got them the World Series. They're just a really good team... If they win this one, they can say, well, we were the best team on the first one as well.

I lied about destroying Vanny Woodhead; I have been keeping it for years

Technically it's destroyed. Legally it's chopped up. But I kind of... I didn't have the heart to chop it up, so I just been keeping it... I was like, every time it was an excuse I used to not follow through with chopping it up.

Zach Wilson's ceiling is literally Patrick Mahomes

Come on, Zach Wilson, his ceiling is literally Patrick Mahomes. That's a fact. If he plays to the best of his ability.

Al-Qaeda is the only one who could have written the Monday Night Football script

Running out with the flag... hard knocks... there was so much hope and hype. And, you know, talking about the NFL script, the only one who could have written that script is Al-Qaeda.