I'm shorting Robinhood as soon as they go live

I'm shorting Robinhood, though, when they eventually go live.

The 'Reddit millionaires' will be the funniest class of millionaires ever

I need the quote-unquote trolls of the internet... to be the power players and shift the entire dynamic... the Reddit millionaires are going to be fucking hilarious.

The United States only unites if aliens start a war with us

The only way that the USA could come back together and all pull on the same side is if aliens came down to earth and start a war with us, then we'd all be like, yeah, fuck you. We'll fight against it.

Technically Vanny Woodhead does not exist and is legally destroyed

Technically it's destroyed. Legally it's chopped up. But I kind of, I couldn't, I didn't have the heart to chop it up, so I just been keeping it. No, one [owns it]. The, it's technically like scrap. It's a ghost car. It just hasn't been scrapped.

Zach Wilson's ceiling is literally Patrick Mahomes

Come on, Zach Wilson, his ceiling is literally Patrick Mahomes. That's a fact. If he plays to the best of his ability.

Al-Qaeda is the only one who could have written the Monday Night Football script

Running out with the flag... hard knocks... there was so much hope and hype. And, you know, talking about the NFL script, the only one who could have written that script is Al-Qaeda.