I hope Nyquist the horse dies because his Twitter account is run by a nerd

I now am fascinated with Nyquist the horse... I hope Nyquist dies. I'll say it. Biggest piece of shit horse. And you know what, Nyquist? That's your horse owner's fault for running a shitty Twitter account. I wouldn't have wished death on you if you just had a semi-normal person running her Twitter account.

Gorillas are more valuable than humans because they are the patriarch of human invention

Technically humans, all those things that are invented by humans, humans are invented by gorillas, right? Like evolution. So wouldn't you say that gorillas are more valuable than humans? They're the patriarch of all those things. They're basically God.

Nick Saban will shiv and gut Jim Harbaugh to win football games

I have a feeling Jim Harbaugh thinks that this is like a fight that can just be played out on the field. And then next thing you know, Nick Saban's going to shiv him in to the side and gut him to death. But literally. Nick Saban will stab a man if it means winning more football games.

Victor Wembanyama is already better than LeBron James

I'm gonna enjoy him because he's, he's like, I I said on Wednesday's show, he is, he's already better than LeBron. So I, that's how I'm gonna enjoy him.

People only hate on Shai Gilgeous-Alexander's flopping because his play style is fundamentally boring

I actually think the problem with SGA more than anything is he's just boring. That's really what people are upset about. The flopping like sucks. But... more than anything he's just, he's boring because he is a lethal mid-range guy. He doesn't have flashy dunks. He's not doing... He's just methodically an exceptional basketball player.

The Cavaliers-Knicks series is over after Game 1

Series over, you can't lose that game if you're the Cavs. When it went into overtime, we said the Cavs have to win this. This is must win. You can't give this up. All time choke.