The Chargers should play their home playoff games in San Diego

I think if they get home field advantage in the playoffs, which is possible... they should play their home games in San Diego. Give it back to the people. San Diegans have suffered long enough.

Patrick Mahomes is getting a little too cute with his play style

I think sometimes [Mahomes] gets a little too cute. I think a little too cute. He throws a lot of left-handed passes. ... You know what bothers me is every time there's a penalty, he points way too fast that it's on the other team.

If I am ever on fire, do not piss on me to put it out

I want to say for the record, if I'm ever on fire, don't piss on me. No, just remind me to stop, drop, and roll. It's not going to help unless you're Peter North and have a stream like a fire hose. It's not going to put out the fire. You're just going to be pissing on me as I burn to death.

Pigeons are the smartest birds because they live off human trash

Pigeons might be the smartest bird. There is one... they've essentially just over the years been like, Hey, you know where we should live? Right where the people leave their trash. We don't have to hunt for anything. We don't have to go fucking diving for worms and fish... Some guy's going to eat a calzone and not finish it and we're gonna finish it. So pigeons might be the smartest bird.

Barry Bonds could still play in the MLB and take a million walks because of fear

I think of that with Barry Bonds for sure. Barry Bonds I like He could just, he, he could show up and just be awesome and, and take like a million walks. 'cause people would fear him.

American air conditioning is the equivalent of 'Hunter Biden crack' for European visitors

I would imagine air conditioning for Europeans hits like crack. Like the best crack of all. Oh, hunter Biden crack. Yeah. That's like when we go over to, to Spain and we see a nude beach. Like that's, that, that feeling that we get over there is their feeling when they're walking into one of our buildings over here.