Never trust anyone who owns a monkey or a snake as a pet
Never trust anyone who owns a monkey or a snake as a pet. They're not trustworthy... A monkey is just, it's basically you buy a monkey, it sits in your house, and it's just you set the timer for when it decides it wants to rip your face off. That's all it is.
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View episodeThe Astros should blow up the train tracks at Minute Maid Park
If you're the Houston Astros, you have to blow up that train station. You have to blow up those tracks because there have been so many iconic home runs that have found their way onto or through those train tracks in the history of your franchise in the biggest possible moments that you've had. You've got to blow that fucking thing up.
The Braves have already won free agency because Ronald Acuna Jr. will be back next year
The Braves already have won free agency. Ronald Acuna [Jr.] will be back next year. That's right. Greatest free agent signing you can have. Absolutely.
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View profileThe Vikings officially have a Kyler Murray problem
I think we can officially say they have a Kyler Murray problem. Justin Jefferson has reached his point where he's like, 'What the fuck is going on?' So that would be my point. Maybe there's a Kyler Murray issue.
The Vikings should trade for Kirk Cousins
What if I told you the Vikings could trade for a quarterback that has 18 touchdown passes and a rushing touchdown? Would that be something you think you'd be interested in if you were a Minnesota Viking fan? Kirk Cousins.
Jalen Warren is a top-five running back
Jalen Warren is the top five running back this year. And it's like watching him play, that changes what I think about the Steelers.