The Dodgers have already won the World Series after the trade deadline

The winners and losers of the trade deadline, the Dodgers have won it all. Just give them the trophy right now. You get Yu Darvish. Yeah.

Colin Kaepernick isn't being signed because his vegan diet makes him physically weak

I think that the reason [Kaepernick] is not being signed is because he's not taking care of his body. He's made up of plant proteins. Not animal proteins, and he's just not as... resilient. I've never seen a plant win a fight.

The government has already won the spying game because everyone willingly put Alexa listening devices in their homes

Big Brother, you thought that the government was going to start putting robots in our houses. They just flipped the script and they're like, everyone has to go buy those stupid Alexa things. And they willingly put it in their house. And now we've been spied on. And now it's over. If you buy an Alexa, you're done. It has your credit card information. You're done.

Victor Wembanyama is already better than LeBron James

I'm gonna enjoy him because he's, he's like, I I said on Wednesday's show, he is, he's already better than LeBron. So I, that's how I'm gonna enjoy him.

People only hate on Shai Gilgeous-Alexander's flopping because his play style is fundamentally boring

I actually think the problem with SGA more than anything is he's just boring. That's really what people are upset about. The flopping like sucks. But... more than anything he's just, he's boring because he is a lethal mid-range guy. He doesn't have flashy dunks. He's not doing... He's just methodically an exceptional basketball player.

The Cavaliers-Knicks series is over after Game 1

Series over, you can't lose that game if you're the Cavs. When it went into overtime, we said the Cavs have to win this. This is must win. You can't give this up. All time choke.