Summer is officially over after Labor Day

Summer's over. Sorry, anyone who says summer lasts past Labor Day is a loser. We're so fucking pissed. Summer's over.

The first person to live to 200 years old has already been born

They think the first person to live to 200 has already been born. There have been studies that have been done. No, Big Cat, you didn't read the studies that I read.

Short people live longer because their hearts don't have as much mass to pump blood through

Short people definitely live longer. Yeah, because we don't have this mass to pump all the blood through. [We are] closer to the ground, better pad level.

American sports dominance is officially over

Are we as a country washed? because this also is on the heels of shams announcing SGA back to back MVP and I think it's been like nine years, I believe eight years since an American has won the NBA MVP... and Aaron Rai, it's the second European to win a major this year and Europeans are now two and oh in majors for the first time since 1934.

The Steelers will be stuck with a 7-10 win ceiling with Aaron Rodgers

Aaron Rodgers is back. I feel bad for Steelers fans... he's not the same quarterback... the Steelers just put a finite floor and ceiling on their season. Right? And it's somewhere between seven and 10 wins. That's what we're thinking.

The Chicago White Sox are no longer a joke and could win the AL Central

White Sox are good. They're actually like, this is finally like, it's kind of, they're not a joke. They've got some sluggers. Big time dude... I don't know what the price is for them winning the AL Central, but they, they, they are not a bad team.