I'm riding the Bears hype wave despite them playing against backups

I'm gonna ride the Hype wave. The way they edited [Hard Knocks], the way they ended it... I understand that it was the Bengals' second defense. I understand that. But I'm gonna ride the Hype wave.

Kevin Warren's chair selection scene on Hard Knocks was riveting television

The scene where [Kevin Warren] was talking about the different chairs... that was riveting television. They're designing suites for their stadium that doesn't exist. And Kevin Warren's making executive choices about whether or not you want a high top chair with a back... these are the decisions that a president has to make.

Alex Rodriguez likely has his fingerprints all over the J-Lo and Ben Affleck divorce

J-Lo and Ben Affleck had broken up... divorce. If I know A-Rod, he's not gonna call first. This says A-Rod's soft fingerprints all over it.

Pigeons are the smartest birds because they live off human trash

Pigeons might be the smartest bird. There is one... they've essentially just over the years been like, Hey, you know where we should live? Right where the people leave their trash. We don't have to hunt for anything. We don't have to go fucking diving for worms and fish... Some guy's going to eat a calzone and not finish it and we're gonna finish it. So pigeons might be the smartest bird.

Barry Bonds could still play in the MLB and take a million walks because of fear

I think of that with Barry Bonds for sure. Barry Bonds I like He could just, he, he could show up and just be awesome and, and take like a million walks. 'cause people would fear him.

American air conditioning is the equivalent of 'Hunter Biden crack' for European visitors

I would imagine air conditioning for Europeans hits like crack. Like the best crack of all. Oh, hunter Biden crack. Yeah. That's like when we go over to, to Spain and we see a nude beach. Like that's, that, that feeling that we get over there is their feeling when they're walking into one of our buildings over here.