Andrew Luck is never actually going to throw an NFL football again

Andrew Luck is proving our theory of that arrow paradox, the Schrodinger's arrow. He's never going to actually throw a football. He's just getting incrementally closer and closer and closer to throwing NFL football.

The XFL should brand itself as the league for quarterbacks with small hands

The XFL should brand itself as the football league for all the guys who have too small hands... XFL Super Bowl champion Alex Smith. XFL Super Bowl champion Jameis Winston.

LeBron James will not sign with the Houston Rockets because he hates the city

Houston is my hot seat because the word on the street from, directly from LeBron James' lips. During the season when they were in Houston, he hates Houston as a city... The strip malls? The congestion? When you pull up Google Maps and it's just a ring of red... I believe that he hates Houston. I'm taking them off. We're officially taking them off the Pardon My Take big board for LeBron.

The Lions will win the NFC North

I think they're gonna be really good. Are the Lions on Crosby watch? ... I think them and maybe the Cowboys might be on Crosby watch. ... I think they probably will win the NFC North.

The Bears could have a top-five offense even if they miss the playoffs

There's a world where the Bears don't make the playoffs, but they're a top-five offense. And our defense is so bad that I can almost—I would be very upset, but I could deal with it.

The Jaguars could win the AFC South

I think the Jaguars are not getting any respect or talked about a lot. I think they're gonna be really good this year. They could win the South. I think Trevor Lawrence is gonna keep going forward.