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Billy FootballBilly Football

I need to catch a bat to test it for rabies so I don't have to get shots in my stomach

If I catch the bat then I can test the bat for rabies. So I don't have to get a bunch of shots in my stomach... I'm going to stay up all night to find this bat.

Catching a bat to test it for rabies is the standard CDC recommendation if exposure is suspected, so his logic is scientifically sound.

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Void
Jul 13, 2020
#27522
PFT CommenterPFT Commenter

Replying 'fuck you' to people, especially politicians, is always a cool and appropriate response.

You could reply to any email directly sent to you by saying 'fuck you' and saying 'fuck you' to people is always cool, right? I think we can all agree on that regardless of the party.

This is a subjective lifestyle and etiquette opinion that reflects the show's comedic brand.
Void
Jul 13, 2020
#16204
Big CatBig Cat

Everyone on the internet is a hypocrite regarding China and the NBA

The reality is everybody in the world or at least in the United States right now is a huge fucking hypocrite and they're all narcs their loser because you know what? You know what I'm typing on right now. I'm typing on a computer. I'm typing on a phone that was probably assembled in communist China... It sucks.

This is a subjective social critique that cannot be objectively proven true or false.
Loss
Jul 13, 2020
#16203
PFT CommenterPFT Commenter

Woj will only be suspended for about 24 hours and will be back breaking news by Tuesday.

I think he's going to be suspended for like 24 hours. He's going to be back breaking news on Tuesday. Well, how can you suspend a person who's just like reporting news, right?

Incorrect. Woj was suspended for two weeks and did not return on the following Tuesday.

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Billy FootballBilly Football

I lied about destroying Vanny Woodhead; I have been keeping it for years

Technically it's destroyed. Legally it's chopped up. But I kind of... I didn't have the heart to chop it up, so I just been keeping it... I was like, every time it was an excuse I used to not follow through with chopping it up.

Billy is confessing to a past lie; the fact that the van still exists (as proven by the photos) makes his claim that it's 'not destroyed' correct.
Loss
Billy FootballBilly Football

Zach Wilson's ceiling is literally Patrick Mahomes

Come on, Zach Wilson, his ceiling is literally Patrick Mahomes. That's a fact. If he plays to the best of his ability.

Zach Wilson was benched later that season and eventually traded, proving his ceiling is nowhere near Mahomes.
Void
Billy FootballBilly Football

Al-Qaeda is the only one who could have written the Monday Night Football script

Running out with the flag... hard knocks... there was so much hope and hype. And, you know, talking about the NFL script, the only one who could have written that script is Al-Qaeda.

This is a satirical dark humor comment, not a factual claim.

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