Tom Brady will sign a one-day contract to retire as a New England Patriot

He is going to New England. He is signing a one-day Patriot contract. There is going to be a ceremony.

Tom Brady's retirement is a '3D chess' move to eventually return to the Patriots

Tom Brady unretires, comes back, plays for the Patriots, and that's why he's not thanking the Patriots yet... This is 3D chess. He's using this to go back to the Patriots because the Buccaneers, he doesn't think, can take him to another Super Bowl. But the Patriots could.

No starting quarterback will ever touch Tom Brady's record of seven Super Bowl wins

Seven Super Bowls will not — I'm going to safely — I really do not think that will be touched by a starting quarterback.

The Knicks will sweep the Cavaliers in the Eastern Conference Finals

Will you personally be disappointed in Knicks if they don't sweep them? No, I, I know how it goes... but it's, it's Knicks in four.

Aaron Rai is a boring PGA Championship winner

Aaron Rai, nice guy, great story. Okay. Boring as hell, boring winner... Nothing happened Sunday... Great crowd, great venue, great fans, great leaderboard going into Sunday. Disappointing finish.

The Jets in Week 16 are a layup win for the Patriots

We get the, the Jets, which is a nice, like layup week 16 leading into the Broncos and the Dolphins. So we got like kinda two easy wins and then a tough challenge week 17.