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HankHank

Will Grier is the ideal quarterback for the Patriots to draft as Tom Brady's successor

I pray that [the Patriots' next QB] is Will Grier. He's primed for that late first round, second round, third round even.

The Patriots did not draft Will Grier; he was selected by the Carolina Panthers in the third round of the 2019 NFL Draft.

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PFT CommenterPFT Commenter

Papa John is the new face of Kentucky basketball

I think we should just go with a take that Papa John is now the new face of Kentucky basketball. When I think UK Wildcats, I think shitty pizza.

This is a satirical characterization of the program's association with a controversial figure.
Loss
Feb 13, 2019
#20904
PFT CommenterPFT Commenter

Dogs love vaping and it is a relatively unknown scientific fact

Dogs love vape. It's a relatively unknown fact, but I would imagine that the more chill a dog is, the higher percentage it has to win its competition.

There is no scientific evidence that dogs enjoy or should be exposed to vape smoke; in fact, it can be harmful to them.
Win
Feb 13, 2019
#17001
Big CatBig Cat

Kyler Murray will be a first-round NFL draft pick

Kyler Murray has made the correct decision, and he's going to be an NFL quarterback. A really good one, probably, too. And now we get to debate for the next two months whether he will be a first-rounder, which he will. He will be.

Kyler Murray was drafted #1 overall by the Arizona Cardinals in the 2019 NFL Draft.

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HankHank

Tom Brady helping Mike Macdonald prepare for the Patriots would be a huge slap in the face to the New England region.

That would be egregious if that was true. I don't believe it is true. But if it were, that would be unforgivable. Not unforgivable. That would be a, a blemish, a big blemish. Big time. It'd be a slap in the face of the whole region.

Subjective opinion on how a hypothetical rumor would be perceived.
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HankHank

Jayson Tatum is playing cute by claiming he found out about the Jaylen Brown trade on social media.

I'm sure he knew that he was on the trading block and he didn't know specifically when he got traded and he found out just like everyone else... all Brad Stevens, Jaylen Brown, they talked about how, you know, he was gonna be on the trading block and they were gonna try and move him. So I'm sure Jayson Tatum was also aware of that. But in terms of, he's probably playing a little, a little cutesy there where like no one specifically told him, 'Hey, this is the trade.' He found out like everyone else. But I'm sure he was not surprised and fully aware what the plan was.

Subjective interpretation of Tatum's PR framing.
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HankHank

The Celtics have another major move coming following the Jaylen Brown trade

There's something going on here. I I said it to Max on the boat yesterday. I was like, Jalen Brown was getting traded. I could, I could just feel it. I could feel it coming... I feel like the Paul George thing is, there's the, like, they might be doing another trade. There's another move coming.

The trade just happened in the fictional 2026 timeline provided; further moves are pending.