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Loss
PFT CommenterPFT Commenter

Aaron Rodgers has about 40 wins left in his body before he starts to suck

Quarterback wins are kind of like a woman's eggs. Because most people don't realize it but a woman, she's only born with a finite number of eggs. So with quarterbacks, it's the exact same thing because they've only got a certain amount of wins that are in their system. If they don't space them out, then they start to regress early. I think he's got about 40 wins left in his body before he starts to suck.

Rodgers won well over 50 more regular season games after this, including back-to-back MVPs in 2020 and 2021, before declining with the Jets in 2023-2024.

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Loss
Oct 8, 2015·Monologue
#20450
PFT CommenterPFT Commenter

If you're PC police, you have to tell me — otherwise it's entrapment

If you're a PC police, you have to tell me. Otherwise, it's entrapment. I know my rights.

This is not how entrapment works. Satirizing the common misconception that undercover cops have to identify themselves, applied to 'PC police.'
Void
Oct 8, 2015·Monologue
#20451
PFT CommenterPFT Commenter

James Harrison was right to take away his son's participation trophy

He made some news last month when he rightfully stole his six-year-old son's participation trophy because he didn't feel that his son had earned it. And while Harrison was without a doubt correct in doing this, he didn't have to throw it all over the news to get a pat on the back from the national media just for doing the right thing that he's supposed to do.

Harrison actually did this in August 2015 and it was widely debated. Whether he was right is a matter of opinion.
Void
Oct 8, 2015·Monologue
#20452
PFT CommenterPFT Commenter

The Steelers are a team that conducts business the right way

Overall, the Steelers are their team that conducts business the right way. In fact, I think it was team owner Art Rooney that pulled Harrison aside and really backed him up back in 2008 when Harrison got arrested for domestic assault. Of course, I'm not here to condone domestic assault, but you have to look at the facts and wait for all the facts to come out.

Heavy sarcasm. Praising the Steelers' culture while referencing Harrison's 2008 domestic assault arrest to satirize the 'they do things the right way' narrative.

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Win
PFT CommenterPFT Commenter

The overturning of Folarin Balogun's suspension is the smallest piece of justice the United States has ever received from FIFA

The United States has never benefited from FIFA's corruption before, and it feels like we've been left out of that party. If this is our taste of the corruption, and all the corruption is just overturning a suspension that should never have been given in the first place... it's the smallest piece of justice that the United States could ever get from FIFA.

The USMNT did successfully have Balogun's suspension rescinded during the 2026 World Cup.
Void
PFT CommenterPFT Commenter

The sensor chips inside soccer balls are bullshit and not perfectly aligned with the cameras

I'm so deep into this chip in the ball thing, I've become convinced that it's all bullshit. The sensors, yes, they're there and yes, they pick up on stuff, but there's no chance that it is perfectly aligned with the 50 cameras that are running concurrently in the stadium on live TV at any given time.

This is a subjective claim about technical precision, though PFT expresses strong doubt.
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PFT CommenterPFT Commenter

Brandon Aiyuk is in a bad space mentally and will not be signing with the Washington Commanders.

The Washington Commanders have released Brandon [Aiyuk] today from the contract that he didn't sign with us and was never going to sign. Things got kind of weird over the weekend. So [Aiyuk] was saying like talking shit about Jayden's mom... I think that should probably put an end to the Brandon [Aiyuk] to the Commanders rumors. But I was never really on board for it, it's been weird for quite some time with Brandon. I hope he gets whatever help he needs. It doesn't seem like he's in a good space mentally. And it seems like even his best oldest friends have tried to help him and he just burns those bridges too.

Subjective opinion on Aiyuk's mental state and burned bridges, plus a prediction about not going to the Commanders.