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PFT CommenterPFT Commenter

Joe Flacco is so elite that his lightning-fast offense literally blew out the Superdome scoreboard in Super Bowl XLVII

My subsequent investigation determined that the 21-point first-half beatdown that Baltimore hung all over the 49ers was the highest first-half point total in the Dome that year... The scoreboard simply couldn't handle all the electricity needed to keep up with Flacco's lightning, quick-release and high-voltage offense. Quite simply, he blew the scoreboard out. That sounds pretty damn elite to me.

The power outage in Super Bowl XLVII was caused by a faulty relay in the Superdome's power supply, not Joe Flacco's performance.

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Loss
Oct 8, 2015·Monologue
#20450
PFT CommenterPFT Commenter

If you're PC police, you have to tell me — otherwise it's entrapment

If you're a PC police, you have to tell me. Otherwise, it's entrapment. I know my rights.

This is not how entrapment works. Satirizing the common misconception that undercover cops have to identify themselves, applied to 'PC police.'
Void
Oct 8, 2015·Monologue
#20451
PFT CommenterPFT Commenter

James Harrison was right to take away his son's participation trophy

He made some news last month when he rightfully stole his six-year-old son's participation trophy because he didn't feel that his son had earned it. And while Harrison was without a doubt correct in doing this, he didn't have to throw it all over the news to get a pat on the back from the national media just for doing the right thing that he's supposed to do.

Harrison actually did this in August 2015 and it was widely debated. Whether he was right is a matter of opinion.
Void
Oct 8, 2015·Monologue
#20452
PFT CommenterPFT Commenter

The Steelers are a team that conducts business the right way

Overall, the Steelers are their team that conducts business the right way. In fact, I think it was team owner Art Rooney that pulled Harrison aside and really backed him up back in 2008 when Harrison got arrested for domestic assault. Of course, I'm not here to condone domestic assault, but you have to look at the facts and wait for all the facts to come out.

Heavy sarcasm. Praising the Steelers' culture while referencing Harrison's 2008 domestic assault arrest to satirize the 'they do things the right way' narrative.

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PFT CommenterPFT Commenter

If Messi wins the 2026 World Cup, he is the GOAT of all sports GOATs

So if he wins the World Cup again, I'm prepared to say he might be the GOAT GOAT. Like the GOAT of GOATs. Right now I think Michael Jordan and Muhammad Ali are both tied for the GOAT GOAT... But Messi could get on the Mount Rushmore of GOAT GOATs.

Messi has reached the 2026 final in this transcript. A win would make him a back-to-back champion, making the GOAT claim very strong.
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PFT CommenterPFT Commenter

France will beat England in the World Cup third-place game, giving England the all-time record for third-place game losses.

England has, they've got the possibility to set the all time record for most third place game losses. Right now they're tied with Brazil with two. If they lose another one, then that would mean that they have that record on their own. And if you look back through history or at least recent history, three of the last five champions of the World Cup go on to win the third place game the next year. So that would mean that France would win this third place game and England would etch their names into history.

Pending the outcome of the 2026 World Cup 3rd-place game between France and England.
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PFT CommenterPFT Commenter

Warde Manuel is about to be fired as the Michigan Athletic Director

I think Warde Manuel's about to get fired... They've leaked a few things to the media regarding the investigation and in the things that they've leaked, they've squarely pointed their finger at Warde Manuel and been like Warde knew the entire time.

The outcome of Manuel's tenure and the NCAA investigation at Michigan remains to be seen.