Pimento cheese sandwiches taste like microwaved Dunkaroos

You could get the same effect from microwaved Dunkaroos for 30 minutes in your microwave and then making a ball out of it. That's what the pimento cheese sandwich tastes like.

Ernie Els six-putting at the Masters is the worst thing a South African person has ever done in history

The bottom line is what Ernie Els did today was probably the worst thing a South African person has ever done... in the history of the world.

Golf is not a major sport

I don't care if someone shoots the wrong club or if I said the wrong terminology with golf. Golf is not a major sport. It's not one of the four major sports for a reason. If it were a major sport, everyone would watch it.

England will beat the Netherlands and then lose a heartbreaking match to Argentina

I think England's gonna win this weekend. And then you'll have the realization that it might not actually be coming home after all... losing to Argentina at that stage, that would be the most heartbreaking loss they could possibly have.

Christian Pulisic is clearly not and cannot be the face of US soccer

I'm just sick of relying on him [Pulisic] to be the face of US soccer because it can't be, it's so clear that he's not.

The 4-1 loss to Belgium was the worst USMNT performance in years

That was the worst performance from the US that I've seen in years. Just completely lackluster from the start. So much blame to go around. Tim Ream, friend of the program, good guy over the hill, turned into soccer Shawn Bradley before our very eyes got dunked on twice.