Atlanta is a bad sports town

Atlanta's getting dragged as we say on the internet. Everyone knows it, it's a bad sports town. It's a good sex town, but it's a bad, bad sports town. I feel like everyone's talking about how Atlanta doesn't really deserve a championship because they're a bad sports town.

Rick Pitino's NCAA defense that recruits didn't like the prostitutes is absurd

He's pleading that a lot of the recruits didn't even like the prostitutes they hired. It says at least one prospect reported that this experience resulted in his disliking the university. That guy is a fucking weirdo. Rick Pitino actually got me a stripper with 36 D's so I really didn't even want to commit to Louisville.

Winning a Masters or Daytona 500 should automatically grant you a green card and the right to vote

Langer's not even allowed to vote because he's a German national... But I think if you win a Masters, that's so American that if you have a green jacket, you should be allowed to vote. I don't care what country you're from. I want you to have a say in who our next leader is. A green jacket equals a green card. Absolutely. Or if you win a Daytona 500, I don't care what continent you're from. You're an American now.

The Detroit Pistons are moving in the right direction despite their Game 7 loss

The progression of the Pistons along the way is like, what were they, two years ago? They won like 16 or 18 games. They were so bad. Last year they had competitive series against The Knicks. Then this year, the natural progression from that is, let's take the regular season super seriously. Let's win all the games that we can get a high seed... I would say the totality of this season, we're still going the right direction in Detroit.

I will renounce my American citizenship and become French if the Canadiens win the Stanley Cup

I will renounce American citizenship and become French if the Canadiens win the Stanley Cup this year... I'll probably need somebody to come and hang out with me and... the south of France is nice.

Patrick Reed is the first PAWG in the history of professional golf.

Patrick Reed, let me tell you, I think he might be the first PAWG golfer. He is. He's thick as hell. Like he was filling out. He also wears... the tight pants... he looks like early era Meghan Trainor... He bends over. He's like, ooh.