I could land a commercial airliner if the pilot became incapacitated

If I got behind the wheel or what the stick of a 737 and I was able to talk to air traffic control, I honestly do believe that I would be able to land a plane. It's pretty simple stuff. It's not rocket science, it's air science.

Short people are crucial for conserving food and resources on our dying planet

Being short is better for the future... Not only do shorter people tend to live longer, but they're also crucial in conserving food and resources on her dying planet. The short are also inherent conservationists, which is more crucial than ever in this world of 8 billion. So basically if we were 10% shorter, we would save 87 millions of tons of food per year.

There are wooly mammoth bones and ivory worth millions in the East River

There's a bunch of treasure in the East River... wooly mammoth bones, tusks, ivory. It's treasure. Millions. Billions. The treasure is on East 65th Street next to the FDR Drive in the water... we're gonna try to go get it.

JMU may not win again until the dog-poop bettor returns

JMU probably won't win another football game until that guy logs back on.

The Wizards are a one-through-eight seed team

I feel confident in my one through eight seed. Love that for the Wiz.

The Falcons can expose the 49ers defense

They might not actually be as good as we think they are on defense. I don't hate the Falcons at all in this game.