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PFT CommenterPFT Commenter

The US military is faking alien news to distract Donald Trump and steal NASA's funding

The military saw how good NASA was at holding [Trump's] attention... they're like, this president fucking loves aliens and loves space. And they're getting... NASA's shine is getting too bright right now. We want a slice of that pie. And so now they're trying to distract him... they're like, fuck it. We're going to make up some aliens and we're going to pretend that there's a war because there's nothing more than Donald Trump wants.

This is a satirical conspiracy theory that cannot be factually proven or disproven in a literal sense.

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Dec 20, 2017
#7917
PFT CommenterPFT Commenter

An alien invasion would be a blessing in disguise because it would unify Earth against a common enemy

I actually think that this could be a blessing in disguise for Earth. Because it's like Earth has been in training camp with each other for the last, like, 2,000 years... And now all of a sudden we've got an enemy to play against. It's fun hitting somebody else, right?

The existence of aliens remains unverified by public scientific consensus, making this hypothetical.
Loss
Dec 20, 2017
#7918
HankHank

Aliens will eventually hack the cloud and release everyone's deleted messages and photos

I've always thought that at some point in the future that every text message, Snapchat, picture message, picture they've ever taken and deleted, that's all going to end up on the internet for everyone... Aliens are about to start that. They're aliens, so they obviously know how to get to the cloud.

No mass alien hack of cloud services has occurred to date.
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Dec 20, 2017
#7919
Big CatBig Cat

Dry, crisp cookies are better than soft, soggy cookies

I'd rather dry with a crisp than soft, like a wet, soft, soggy cookie in my mouth.

Preference for cookie texture is entirely subjective.

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PFT CommenterPFT Commenter

The Rays are playing an exciting brand of baseball

It's a very, very exciting brand of baseball. And I'm gonna miss it when it's over. So I did not wanna sweep, so thank you.

This is a subjective assessment of style and cannot be definitively judged.
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PFT CommenterPFT Commenter

The Cowboys are a bad football team

The Cowboys are a bad football team. And I can't wait for people to start to say like, this is when, look at the schedule. Dallas is gonna put some wins together.

The quality of a team is partly evaluative, though the season's playoff result could test the narrower claim that Dallas is not a serious championship threat.
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PFT CommenterPFT Commenter

Performance-enhancing drug shortages may explain dominant teams falling off

There started to be severe, severe supply chain issues when it came to performance enhancing drugs and peptide shipments coming to the United States. I just think it's interesting.

This speculative causal theory is not established by the transcript or otherwise verifiable from the available context.