An alien invasion would be a blessing in disguise because it would unify Earth against a common enemy

I actually think that this could be a blessing in disguise for Earth. Because it's like Earth has been in training camp with each other for the last, like, 2,000 years... And now all of a sudden we've got an enemy to play against. It's fun hitting somebody else, right?

The US military is faking alien news to distract Donald Trump and steal NASA's funding

The military saw how good NASA was at holding [Trump's] attention... they're like, this president fucking loves aliens and loves space. And they're getting... NASA's shine is getting too bright right now. We want a slice of that pie. And so now they're trying to distract him... they're like, fuck it. We're going to make up some aliens and we're going to pretend that there's a war because there's nothing more than Donald Trump wants.

Dry, crisp cookies are better than soft, soggy cookies

I'd rather dry with a crisp than soft, like a wet, soft, soggy cookie in my mouth.

The Celtics have another major move coming following the Jaylen Brown trade

There's something going on here. I I said it to Max on the boat yesterday. I was like, Jalen Brown was getting traded. I could, I could just feel it. I could feel it coming... I feel like the Paul George thing is, there's the, like, they might be doing another trade. There's another move coming.

You cannot trade a star like Jaylen Brown to an in-division rival

Regardless of what this ends up doing for the Celtics with the picks, if they make another trade, you cannot trade Jalen Brown to your in division rival. Like that cannot happen.

Jaylen Brown will go on a revenge tour next season.

Jaylen Brown is gonna be on a revenge tour this year and I want him on the Celtics.