An alien invasion would be a blessing in disguise because it would unify Earth against a common enemy

I actually think that this could be a blessing in disguise for Earth. Because it's like Earth has been in training camp with each other for the last, like, 2,000 years... And now all of a sudden we've got an enemy to play against. It's fun hitting somebody else, right?

The US military is faking alien news to distract Donald Trump and steal NASA's funding

The military saw how good NASA was at holding [Trump's] attention... they're like, this president fucking loves aliens and loves space. And they're getting... NASA's shine is getting too bright right now. We want a slice of that pie. And so now they're trying to distract him... they're like, fuck it. We're going to make up some aliens and we're going to pretend that there's a war because there's nothing more than Donald Trump wants.

Dry, crisp cookies are better than soft, soggy cookies

I'd rather dry with a crisp than soft, like a wet, soft, soggy cookie in my mouth.

This is the Knicks' championship to lose

This series is over. Right. And the Spurs Thunder series looks like it's going at least six, probably seven. Like it looks like an absolute battle. Yeah. So that's good for them. The Spurs all things, I mean, this is, this is the Knicks championship to lose.

My official stance on the Toucher & Rich radio beef is simply 'fuck 'em'

I'm not leading this battle. They took a shot. I said fuck him. And that's where I stand... Official stance. So you guys can just fuck him.

I did not fart during the Kellen Moore interview; it was just air that fell out of my body

The sound did come out of me, my body. But it was not a conscious fart... Most farts air coming out of your asshole, max, most farts max have to push. Like most farts, you're like, this one fell out... I was not like, consciously like, oh, I got a fart. But when I lifted up my leg, I, I guess I had like gas down there... A dude came out of my ass. That was so loud.