An alien invasion would be a blessing in disguise because it would unify Earth against a common enemy

I actually think that this could be a blessing in disguise for Earth. Because it's like Earth has been in training camp with each other for the last, like, 2,000 years... And now all of a sudden we've got an enemy to play against. It's fun hitting somebody else, right?

The US military is faking alien news to distract Donald Trump and steal NASA's funding

The military saw how good NASA was at holding [Trump's] attention... they're like, this president fucking loves aliens and loves space. And they're getting... NASA's shine is getting too bright right now. We want a slice of that pie. And so now they're trying to distract him... they're like, fuck it. We're going to make up some aliens and we're going to pretend that there's a war because there's nothing more than Donald Trump wants.

Dry, crisp cookies are better than soft, soggy cookies

I'd rather dry with a crisp than soft, like a wet, soft, soggy cookie in my mouth.

The Jets can't build a winning culture

You just can't. It's hard to build a winning culture ever. It doesn't matter what you're doing if you're the Jets.

The WNBA badly mishandled its Finals scheduling

Instead of doing it in an arena where it's like a 5,000 capacity arena, they could have done it at the regular time. They chose to do 12:30 in the afternoon.

There is real tension between Jalen Brown and the Celtics

I don't think it's Jason Tatum and Jalen Brown really have personal beef. I think it's just, you know, Jalen Brown, Celtics, and that's turning into Jason Tatum in some ways. But I think there's definitely beef between Jalen Brown and the Celtics organization.