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Ryan WhitneyRyan Whitney

Gordon Hayward would have stayed in the game if he were a hockey player

You gotta think that that Gordon Hayward coming back for the third period if he's a hockey player. I mean you have to snap it back in, dude. He's at least going for the twirl to see if he can give it a go. You tie the skates up real tight. You use a fucking stick as a splint.

Hayward's injury was season-ending and required extensive surgery; no athlete in any sport could play through it.

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Void
Nov 8, 2017
#2067
PFT CommenterPFT Commenter

The NBA is officially the emo league

I'd like to just say I'm done with the word petty to describe the NBA. We passed petty like a year and a half ago. I think emo is now the correct answer.

This became a long-running joke/segment descriptor for the NBA on PMT, fitting the league's reputation for drama.
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HankHank

Josh Gordon won't be as good as before because he's sober

[Josh Gordon] got reinstated, but it came out that he admitted that he used drugs or alcohol before every single game he's ever played. So he's going to have to come back and not use drugs or alcohol, and he's not going to be that good.

Gordon returned in late 2017 and played decently but never reached his 2013 All-Pro form again, though largely due to age and further suspensions.
Void
Big CatBig Cat

Twitter's move to 280 characters makes the platform the worst

My hot seat is Twitter, because they have officially made everyone have 280 characters, and it's the worst... I had 280 characters before anyone else, not to brag, but I said to both of you that it's the worst because I get tired even writing 280 characters, let alone reading it. So fuck Twitter for doing that.

While subjective, many power users still argue the 140-character limit was the peak of the platform's utility.

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Ryan WhitneyRyan Whitney

It is physically impossible to chug a beer out of the Buffalo Sabres sword

The mc of the event's, like, dude, these things you can't chug out of 'em. You have to drink it slow because you can't chug. They end up spilling. It's impossible to chug. I said, oh, all right. Well I wish you told me that beforehand mc guy.

While potentially difficult, 'impossible' is likely hyperbole to cover for a poor performance.
Void
Ryan WhitneyRyan Whitney

Connor McDavid has lost his superpower due to injury

McDavid's hurt. And it just sucks... It's like he lost his superpower. So he skates like no one I've ever seen before... And now he doesn't have that. He still has the straightaway speed, I've noticed... but the little cutbacks where he is beating D out of the corner... He doesn't have it.

The impact of the injury on his playstyle is visible to scouts and analysts.
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Ryan WhitneyRyan Whitney

The NBA product has never been worse

The product's never been worse. The NBA and I don't watch it. So you can say, how do you know the product? It's, it's terrible. And if you're not somebody, I've asked you guys... lead off your show with hockey when football season's not going. But no, you guys stick to basketball and it's horrible.

Evaluating a league's 'product' quality is entirely subjective.