Skip to content
PMTPMT DB
Win
Ryan WhitneyRyan Whitney

The San Jose Sharks have no chance to come back against the Penguins in the 2016 Stanley Cup Final

Done. Done. Oh, that's not a chance. Like it was pretty stupid. They would even waste the money that it costs to pay for the private jet out to play the game and lose and then have to fly home. ... They're just a better team overall.

The Pittsburgh Penguins won the Stanley Cup in 6 games.

More from this episode

View episode
Loss
Jun 8, 2016
#18927
PFT CommenterPFT Commenter

The US Men's National Soccer Team could make some noise in the next two World Cups

I'd say that [soccer is] better than ever. I would say not this World Cup and next World Cup. The U.S. could really make some noise.

The US failed to qualify for the 2018 World Cup (the 'next' one relative to 2016) and reached the Round of 16 in 2022.
Void
Jun 8, 2016
#18928
PFT CommenterPFT Commenter

A statement loss to Mexico is what the US soccer team needs to announce its global presence

What you really want – now, I want to see the United States – barely lose to Mexico in a statement loss. And that could be what really announces our presence on the global scale.

This is a satirical concept of a 'statement loss' which is inherently subjective and comedic.
Void
Jun 8, 2016
#18929
PFT CommenterPFT Commenter

The United States soccer team is the Indiana Pacers of the global scale

The thing about Klinsmann is the United States in soccer is the Indiana Pacers. We've never done anything great, really. We've had a couple good players every now and again. But we think that we're entitled to be a really good team.

This is a subjective comparison between a national team and an NBA franchise.

More from Ryan Whitney

View profile
Push
Ryan WhitneyRyan Whitney

It is physically impossible to chug a beer out of the Buffalo Sabres sword

The mc of the event's, like, dude, these things you can't chug out of 'em. You have to drink it slow because you can't chug. They end up spilling. It's impossible to chug. I said, oh, all right. Well I wish you told me that beforehand mc guy.

While potentially difficult, 'impossible' is likely hyperbole to cover for a poor performance.
Void
Ryan WhitneyRyan Whitney

Connor McDavid has lost his superpower due to injury

McDavid's hurt. And it just sucks... It's like he lost his superpower. So he skates like no one I've ever seen before... And now he doesn't have that. He still has the straightaway speed, I've noticed... but the little cutbacks where he is beating D out of the corner... He doesn't have it.

The impact of the injury on his playstyle is visible to scouts and analysts.
Void
Ryan WhitneyRyan Whitney

The NBA product has never been worse

The product's never been worse. The NBA and I don't watch it. So you can say, how do you know the product? It's, it's terrible. And if you're not somebody, I've asked you guys... lead off your show with hockey when football season's not going. But no, you guys stick to basketball and it's horrible.

Evaluating a league's 'product' quality is entirely subjective.