Takes

The middle class of NFL quarterbacks is being wiped out

To be a quarterback, never a better time to be a quarterback. If you're an elite quarterback kind of a shitty time to be a quarterback. If you're a 'yeah, but' guy... like Baker Mayfield, where does he go? Does Jordan Love ever get a starting shot? Like Jimmy G... th that second, third, fourth tier of guys, it feels like they basically get a couple shots. And then it's like, all right, we're moving on.

NFL quarterbacks should beg to be traded to the NFC to avoid the AFC gauntlet

This realignment to me also feels like when the west, for the first time in a long time, got really good in the NBA... The AFC just continues to stack up quarterbacks. If I were an NFL player, I would want to play in the NFC right now. I'm a quarterback. It's like, send me to the NFC. I've got Aaron Rodgers, who's got probably a couple more years, and then he's done... but as far as the NFC goes, it's like wide open.

Urban Meyer's health issues during coaching stints are an ego-driven defense mechanism

I really think that the worst punishment that they could have had for him is not firing them, but just making him continue to coach and lose on the Jaguars... those the the mental issues and like the the fake sicknesses that he would have... his entire ego is built around him being successful and beating people that when there's even just like a small crack in that foundation of him starting to think, maybe you're not as big a winner... he just crumbles.

Malik Willis' pro day throw was 10 yards further than Zach Wilson's famous throw

Malik Willis to the same throw that Zach Wilson did, but just 10 yards farther. Just wanted to add that as a little note at the end.

The Rams are throwing money away by signing Matthew Stafford to a massive extension

Stafford resigned... You'll never win one enough. No, it's throwing money away. I don't know what the Rams are doing with their cap right now. Like they don't have any draft picks... I don't see this working out in terms of a cogent team building strategy.

Tom Brady will eventually end up playing for the Las Vegas Raiders

Davante Adams goes to Las Vegas. This lends more credence to my just pot shot that I took in the dark earlier this week that Tom Brady is going to end up in Las Vegas.

Russell Wilson feels the need to tell everyone he is working harder than them at all times

I feel like that was just such a Russell Wilson thing. Like that's just who he is now. He just has to tell everyone that he's working harder than everyone at all times. I'm not going to let him just get by with the bullshit.

Von Miller will not finish his six-year contract with the Bills

I will bet all the Von Miller's money that they said he's getting, which I don't have, that he will not see the end of the contract. He will not see the end of the contract. Von Miller's going to be 39 by the time it's over.

I am steadfastly committed to Carson Wentz conversion therapy

I'm still I'm, I'm steadfast. I'm committed to the Carson Wentz conversion therapy. I'm moving forward with it. Very happy with him as my quarterback.

Troy Vincent was the source for the false Deflategate report

We outed the source for Chris Mortensen's report that 11 to 12 footballs were two pounds underinflated... That was false information that was given to him by Troy Vincent from the NFL office. We report that in Playmakers.

The Jaguars have to pay a 'Jaguars tax' to sign good players

The Jaguars are doing a complete renovation... They're signing everyone, they're paying everybody insane amounts of money because there is a Jaguars tax that you have to pay. Like if you want a good player... you have to pay them like they're superstars to get them to go to the Jaguars.

Billionaires should pay for their own stadiums

The Bills are getting a $1.4 billion new stadium. It's going to be right next to their old stadium, all paid for by the public... Billionaires should pay for their own fucking stadium.

The Jets are a wagon and will beat the Patriots in Week 8

Jets are a wagon, calling it. Week 8 at MetLife, they're beating the Pats, calling it right now. We're updated, upgraded... we don't have Mr. INT anymore.

Tom Brady only returned to Tampa because he couldn't find a 'graceful exit'

I think he came to the conclusion he wasn't going to find a graceful exit from Tampa Bay and that if he was going to play this year, he'd better jump on now... there was at least some thought I believe from Brady to play for someone else.

Carson Wentz is a better choice than Kirk Cousins

I would go with Wentz over Cousins for one very important reason... The moment it goes to shit, Cousins can't do anything. Wentz has the athleticism to try to make chicken salad on the fly. That separates him from Cousins... and for what he's getting paid versus what Cousins's getting paid, I take Wentz.

Tom Brady un-retired because he didn't want to share his Hall of Fame induction with Ben Roethlisberger

Tom Brady saw the writing on the wall. He's like, five years now. I don't want to get my [Hall of Fame] ceremony cut by big Ben [Roethlisberger]. So I'll just cuck the kids and stuff.

Tom Brady will play for the Raiders under Josh McDaniels

My theory is that Tom Brady wants to play for the Raiders for [Josh] McDaniels who's now the head coach of the Raiders, his old offensive coordinator... Pioli being very weird and cryptic on NFL network today about whether or not Tom Brady was going to come back and play for the bucks. Like he knew something.

Amari Cooper is perpetually not as good as his hype

Amari Cooper is firmly in my mind, a guy who like just is perpetually, not as good as his hype. He's a guy who you will forever want to be a clear cut number one. And he will never be that. So you know what I'm saying? Like, you're always wanting Amari Cooper to be the guy. And I don't think he ever will be the guy. I mean, CD lamb's better than him.

Malik Willis is a hybrid of Josh Allen and Lamar Jackson

I think Malik Willis is going to have a really good NFL career... I think he's what they advertise him as he's Josh Allen and Lamar Jackson hybrid.

Malik Willis will either be a Hall of Famer or a complete bust

Like he could actually like, you know, it's either going to translate and he's going to be like Patrick Mahomes or it's not. One of those things where it's... so like hall-of-famer or bust. Exactly. Yep. I like that.

I am the biggest Carson Wentz super fan in the world right now

I've reached this point in my bargaining stage where I think I'm the biggest Carson Wentz super fan in the world right now. I've had some time to think it through logically... Carson Wentz's ceiling is better than any quarterback in that division. Now, all we have to do is to get him to play at his ceiling on an average basis.

Carson Wentz is the best quarterback in exactly 73-degree weather

The average temperature last September in Washington, DC was 73 degrees. No quarterback has performed better from a yards per attempt standpoint in exactly 73-degree weather than Carson Wentz. Top 50 quarterbacks yards per attempt and exactly 73-degree weather, he is number one, 9.71 yards per attempt.

Malik Willis has the most fuckable spiral in the 2022 draft

Number one. Malik Willis. God damn moon bomb. And the thing is, I love how the ball turns over on his long balls. It points up when it's going up and when it's going down, it points down and it looks like an absolute cruise missile.

Malik Willis is a combination of Lamar Jackson and Josh Allen

Malik Willis has been said to be, in my opinion, a combination of Lamar Jackson and Josh Allen. This is what the people are saying. If you look at Malik's throws from the combine, insane, absolutely crazy type stuff.

4th and 1 decisions are no longer hard in the NFL

It became obvious your team just gets ready to play fourth and two or fourth and one. So there's no like, it's not like, 'Hey, you really risked it there.' If you don't go for it on fourth and one, that's what everybody's doing. So to me, those aren't the hard decisions anymore. It's just become the norm.

Russell Wilson's trade to the Broncos is a bigger story than Aaron Rodgers staying in Green Bay

I think Russell Wilson is the bigger story. Russell Wilson is definitely the bigger story because [Aaron] Rogers staying in at the Packers was kind of expected. Ish. Russell Wilson go to the Broncos is like, whoa.

The Broncos won the Russell Wilson trade because they finally got a franchise quarterback

I think that the Broncos won this trade because they've got a quarterback... I do like it for the Broncos though, honestly, if I, I do think that Russell Wilson is one of the quarterbacks that can take any team and turn them into like an instant contender.

The AFC West is the best division in football with the addition of Russell Wilson

I've seen more of people saying like, look how stack this division is. I agree. And Derek Carr is like, Def actually is probably the biggest God division and football right now.

The Broncos and Seahawks combined will have fewer than three playoff appearances in the next five years

How many playoff appearances will the Broncos and the Seahawks have combined in the next five years? I guess see extra, a little different timeline now... Okay [three times] yeah, because it's got a good defense.

Aaron Rodgers' new contract with the Packers is a bust if he doesn't win three of the next four Super Bowls

I think that if Aaron Rogers doesn't win three out of the four next Superbowl's, this contract is kind of a bust. If it is, if it is 50 million, if he is the highest paid player in the history of the NFL... you would assume that the highest paid player ever would also be a player capable of leading you to dynasty.

The NFL's TV audience would drop by half if all gambling and fantasy football were erased

If you took away gambling, if you made, if you had a button where all gambling, everything like illegal legal was just a race. No one could bet on anything. What do you think the NFL's TV audience would do? Half? Yeah, probably about half. It would be crazy.

Malik Willis threw the ball 73.72 yards at the NFL Combine

Doing some Pythagoras theorem on Malik Willis' absolute gigantic throw. So he threw it 60 yards down the field. But if you [calculate] the hypotenuse of how actually far you threw in a straight line, it got out to 73.72.

Desmond Ridder has 'fuckable spirals'

Desmond Ridder has nice spiral, Cincinnati guy. He gives me Justin Herbert type vibes... fuckable spirals for fuckable spirals. If you see a spiral, you're like, damn that spiral sexy.

The NFL will move the Combine to LA just to make it shittier and more expensive

I'm going to miss Indy because... this is probably the last year that the combine is going to be in Indy because the NFL, anytime they have something nicer, like, well, how can I make this 50% shittier, but make more money doing it. So they're going to move it. People were speculating, maybe Dallas. I actually hope that they move it to LA because just to see the big Jay's just shit themselves.

Aaron Rodgers is officially retiring from the NFL

My arch nemesis, Aaron Nagler... he actually told me breaking news that Aaron Rodgers is going to retire... he was actually crying when he told me it. So I had to like console him. He cried on my shoulder. He's like, Aaron Rodgers is going to retire. I was like, dude, I'm sorry. That's really, really tough.

Kliff Kingsbury could have had the Oklahoma head coaching job if he wanted it

I get a call from somebody, not in the Kliff Kingsbury camp, connected to the [Sooners]... and they said, are you aware of the fact that Oklahoma is kind of after him? ...I made a couple more calls and found out that if he wanted that job, he could have it. Now. Now it was portrayed as I'm giving Kliff Kingsbury leverage. I could care less.

Tom Brady was in talks to be a limited owner of the Miami Dolphins

He was retiring. I mean, there were other plans he's doing a movie. He was talked about as a limited owner of the Miami Dolphins. His family was at like, the decision had been made. He was retiring and we reported it.

Tom Brady will not play again this year, but might get the itch in July

Today I would say not going to play again today. Well, listen today, March 2nd, as we tape, I don't think he's going to play again, how he's going to feel in July and August when people are going back to training camp... he may get the itch.

Russell Wilson will be the starting quarterback for the Seahawks in 2022

Russell Wilson is the starting quarterback for the Seahawks to start the season. I would, I would think that that would be the case.

The Commanders should trade for Carson Wentz

Carson Wentz. I, I think we should put them in Washington just to see PFT's soul leave his body.

Dan Snyder has zero intent to sell the Washington Commanders

I can't see Dan Snyder ever voluntarily selling. ...I don't think so. I, I think he he's got zero, zero intent to sell.

Kyler Murray will go play baseball when he's 28 years old

It's wild. I don't know how this, I mean, yeah, they're going to pay him and then he's going to be upset and he's going to be more upset and they're not going to win. He's going to be more upset. And then he's going to, I feel like when he's like 28, he's gonna be like, I'm going to go play baseball.

NFL Quarterback Ranking: Aaron Rodgers is #1, Mahomes #2, and Dak Prescott is #3

Number one, Tom Brady's retired... Aaron Rodgers is one. Mahomes is two. Dak is three. ... Four, I'm going to go with my guy from Buffalo, Josh Allen.

I'd rather have 11 Mitchell Trubiskys playing every position than Carson Wentz at quarterback

I saw that the Washington Commanders were targeting Carson Wentz as their quarterback. I would rather literally have 11 Mitchell Trubiskys playing every position than Carson Wentz at quarterback.

Prime Cam Newton is the ultimate choice for a team of 11 clones

Prime Cam Newton without a doubt would be [the choice]. I'm switching mine to prime Cam Newton... think about how big and strong and fast he is and can throw. He would have the one thing prime [would need].

Aaron Rodgers macro-doses mushrooms and LSD in the offseason

If you don't believe my take that Aaron Rodgers is straight up macro doses mushrooms and LSD in the off season, go listen to his most recent interview... he's doing some really freaky shit.

Aaron Rodgers will never leave the Packers because the NFC North is too easy

He probably did the Panchakarma cleanse and was like, wait, I played the Vikings, the lions and the bears. Why would I leave that? Like you get kick our ass... I think he, he, he clearly wants back with his ex.

Tom Brady's conference calls are unbelievable

Brady's conference calls with us were un-fucking-believable. I will miss those so much. He did a lot on them, which I thought was great.

If Odell Beckham Jr. does not get hurt, the Rams win the Super Bowl by 10 points

I also think if you want to do a, what if I, what if, what if Odell Beckham doesn't get hurt? Did the Rams run by 10? Like they were looking back at that game. They had three drives or it might've been four drives two punts, two touchdowns. But the two touchdowns were very easy. One Soto [Odell] Beckham goes out. They don't, they don't do anything until that last drive.

The Bengals are not guaranteed to return to the Super Bowl due to the elite competition in the AFC

I do find it kind of interesting how everybody's like the bangles are gonna be back here for sure... just say that out loud to yourself... given like, whew, who's in the AFC right now. I, if you, if we said bet, you have to bet next decade. The Bengals go to X amount of Superbowls... over one and a half, you'd take the under all that all day. And that's, it's not disrespectful to the bangles... because the chiefs are that good. The bills are looking that good, sir. Herbert, it looks great. Lamar Jackson got forgotten about.