Tom Brady un-retired because he didn't want to share his Hall of Fame induction with Ben Roethlisberger

Tom Brady saw the writing on the wall. He's like, five years now. I don't want to get my [Hall of Fame] ceremony cut by big Ben [Roethlisberger]. So I'll just cuck the kids and stuff.

Tom Brady will play for the Raiders under Josh McDaniels

My theory is that Tom Brady wants to play for the Raiders for [Josh] McDaniels who's now the head coach of the Raiders, his old offensive coordinator... Pioli being very weird and cryptic on NFL network today about whether or not Tom Brady was going to come back and play for the bucks. Like he knew something.

The West is the toughest region in the 2022 NCAA Tournament

I think that the west is the toughest region right now. There's landmines in the west.

Technically Vanny Woodhead does not exist and is legally destroyed

Technically it's destroyed. Legally it's chopped up. But I kind of, I couldn't, I didn't have the heart to chop it up, so I just been keeping it. No, one [owns it]. The, it's technically like scrap. It's a ghost car. It just hasn't been scrapped.

Zach Wilson's ceiling is literally Patrick Mahomes

Come on, Zach Wilson, his ceiling is literally Patrick Mahomes. That's a fact. If he plays to the best of his ability.

Al-Qaeda is the only one who could have written the Monday Night Football script

Running out with the flag... hard knocks... there was so much hope and hype. And, you know, talking about the NFL script, the only one who could have written that script is Al-Qaeda.