Takes

I would rather have the Eagles lose in the first round than miss the playoffs

I want to get a first round blowout so that next year could be Super Bowl... Preferably by the Bucs, but I don't think it is possible to play the Bucs in the first round.

The AFC is wide open this year

This is the most wide open AFC... You're only scary teams are the Chiefs and the Ravens... It is not a gauntlet.

I would take Bill Belichick as the next head coach of the Commanders

I would take Belichick. I just wanna say that for the record. I, I think Bill Belichick is a good head coach and I would like to see him coaching my team. I, especially if it's instead of Hank's team.

I looked at the evidence and it might have been a DeMar Hamlin body double at the Bills game

I don't think he's dead. But [it] was very snowy. That shot conveniently... why was he wearing goggles? He had a sheisty... I'm just saying like it was just, there was just like, I looked at the evidence. I'm just raising it so we could have the conversation.

It's a law of the universe that long-haired quarterbacks don't win Super Bowls

It's not even really long hair curse. It's just a demonstrable fact that long hair quarterbacks have never won a Superbowl... It's a law of the universe.

Odell Beckham Jr. will sign with the Seahawks

I think he's going to be a Seahawk, based on the way that DK answered those questions earlier when he was like, no, we're not claiming off waivers. That tells me that he knows that they're going to sign him as a free agent.

OBJ going to the Bucs would significantly increase their Super Bowl chances

What team would Odell go to that you actually think it increases their chance significantly to win a Super Bowl?... It would be the Bucs because... Antonio Brown, there's something up with him. Plot twist, Antonio Brown is unreliable this season.

I would give up a pinky for the Bears to win a Super Bowl

Would you give up a pinky for the Bears to win a Super Bowl? Yeah, probably I would... but I don't want to have that fun taken away. Like, why would I do that to myself?

The Jaguars should trade Nick Foles for a 6th round pick and go all in on Gardner Minshew

Trade Nick Foles? Absolutely. Dude, I would trade him for a six-round conditional pick. ... [Gardner Minshew] is amazing. Why would I not be [all in]?

I always thought Nick Foles was going to be a huge bust in Jacksonville

To be completely honest, my excitement about the Nick Foles era was completely fake. It was fake. I thought that he was going to be a bust. I thought that he was going to be a huge bust in Jacksonville where everything was perfect for him in the Eagle system.

Gardner Minshew is going to be a good quarterback

He wasn't elevating anybody else. He was just getting the ball out on time and things like that. I thought maybe he could do that in Jacksonville, rely on the defense... so I think Gardner's going to be okay. I like Gardner. I like his accuracy.

The Houston Texans will never win a Super Bowl

The Texans will never win a Super Bowl.

Everyone must watch the Super Bowl

You can't not watch the Super Bowl. Like, you can't... In two weeks' time, you're going to want that football back. Don't take it for granted.

I will get a tattoo of Blake Bortles' face if the Jaguars win the Super Bowl

I proclaimed tonight that if you win the Super Bowl, I will get a tattoo of your face somewhere on my body. Wrist, preferably.