Takes

The Edmonton Oilers are choke artists and will never win a Stanley Cup

He [McDavid] ain't winning a cup in, in Edmonton. No. Oh. Not at all. They fucking, they're choke artists. They might, they might as well might as well be Maple Leafs. It ain't, it ain't gonna fucking happen.

Connor McDavid will win a Stanley Cup, but it will not be in Edmonton

Can [Connor McDavid] win the big one? Yes. Not in Edmonton. Oh, okay. I like that. That's a good take.

Alex Ovechkin might actually be 46 years old due to age technicalities with Russian players

The most amazing thing about the Ovy Gold chase is... He could be like 46 years old. Like you never know with Russians. So the fact that he's like, could be a little older is even crazier.

A team of 20 Connor McDavids would easily win the Stanley Cup

If there were let's say 20 Connor McDavids on a team... Do they win a Stanley Cup? Yeah. Not even close. [Ooh, now Whit disagrees with you] 20 of them.

I'm a 'belief' this year: the Maple Leafs will win the Stanley Cup

I'm a belief this year... I took the Leafs to win the Stanley Cup. I believe in the Leafs.

The NHL should suspend players for dirty hits but allow them back for one 'grudge' game

I think they should do this more often... suspend him for enough games where he can come back and then everyone can tune in to watch him have fights all night. I think the rule should be if you get suspended for a dirty hit in the playoffs, you should be forced to start the next game, skate one shift, and then after that point, your suspension begins.

The Capitals will suffer the biggest championship hangover ever and miss the playoffs next year if they win the Cup

If Ovechkin wins the Stanley Cup, I am predicting the biggest championship hangover of all time in — we're not even making the playoffs next year. No, I bet he's going to score five goals next year because he's going to spend the entire summer on a yacht in the Caspian Sea just having hookers and blow just delivered to him by Putin.

Vladimir Putin hands out unlimited credit cards to high-end Russian hockey players

I've just heard some rumblings, and it's been confirmed by a few guys that, like, Putin basically hands out credit cards to all these high-end Russian hockey players like Malkin and Ovechkin. Where basically they could just go, like if you say they want to pop bottles one night, they just go, they just put it on the Russian credit card.

The Washington Capitals are better this year because they are actually worse than last year

The Washington Capitals, they are better this year because they're actually worse than they were last year, okay? ... The fact that the Capitals are not as good, they're not as deep... It means that they're winning ugly is what I'm getting at. ... we've tried being by far the best team talent-wise. That hasn't worked. So let's give it a shot being a little bit shittier than them.

Evgeni Malkin is a traitor for joining a pro-Putin social campaign

Evgeni Malkin... listen to the balls on this motherfucker. He is joining a pro-Putin social campaign in America... Malkin, as far as I know, is the one who started it. This son of a bitch is basically a traitor. And he's propping up a dictator who goes after journalists.

Every player on the Pittsburgh Penguins is using steroids

The Penguins did their – I think everybody on the Penguins is using steroids. I'm going to put it out there. You know what? I think that's the only explanation. They're really good in game sevens when the other team is always super tired. I'm putting it out there. Cheaters, all of them.

The 'glowing puck' ruined the NHL and likely caused the 2004-05 lockout

The glowing puck, did they get rid of that because it was easier to play defense? I think they took the non-hockey followers word too seriously and kind of ruined the game. I really think that's probably why the lockout happened.

There is a greater chance of America taking over Toronto than the Maple Leafs winning a Stanley Cup

I think that there's a greater chance of America, like slowly encroaching into Canada and taking their land away and taking Toronto, than there is like the Maple Leafs winning a Stanley Cup before that time.