Takes

Vanny Woodhead will be up and running by July 4th

Vanny will be up and running by July 4th. My first step is trying to make some, some marketing and some sales packaging so that we can get some money into Vanny Woodhead.

I would only take a few hours of hanging out with Billy Football before I'd want to kill him

Remember that when you were a kid and you'd have like one sleepover with your best friend... it was the best night ever. And then by the end of the second night you just wanted to kill them. It's going to be like that [with Billy] except in the second hour.

Returning to normalcy after the pandemic will be a gradual process, not a sudden switch

We're also not going back to normal like a light switch. We're not gonna be like, 'Hey, there we go. Now everyone just go party and we're cool.' It's going to be such a weird gradual thing where everyone is scared of each other because of germs.

I could survive retirement if I were able to gamble on sports every night

I might never be able to retire because I'm like a worker bee that needs to be working... if I had the ability to still gamble on Sports at night? Would that keep me working enough? Because that just part that you have to pay your you have to pay your gambling debts... I think the answer is yes.

I will get in great shape during quarantine by walking around Brooklyn in an 80-pound weight vest

You guys right now are looking at the guy who just purchased an 80-pound weight vest. So I'm going to get back in shape. I'm gonna start walking around Brooklyn with a weight vest... I'll be walking around like Zion.

It is responsible to continue betting after your child is born because the baby might be good luck

It's actually responsible of you from a fiscal standpoint to continue betting, if not more so than you were before, because the baby might be good luck.

I'm throwing it out there that I have 350-pound dad strength now

I want to do like a full study on whether dad strength is a real thing. 350 probably. I'm going to throw that out there. 350. I'd say dad strength is a thing. Yep.

The Monday after the Super Bowl should be a federal holiday

We all are in agreement, obviously, that the Monday after the Super Bowl should be a federal holiday. Correct. Move President's Day. Abraham Lincoln's dead. He won't care. I promise. He probably would have been a big football fan.

Teaching your kids to enjoy alcohol responsibly makes you a good father

Real take? I don't give a fuck. This is the most common thing ever... It's actually like teaching your kids how to enjoy alcohol responsibly is probably a really good father. So it's not like a novelty when they get to age 17 and they're just like butt funneling mad dogs.

You can't take a shit at a friend's house if the bathroom is less than 30 'bathroom feet' away

It's actually a formula that you multiply the number of bathrooms times the feet from the couch to the bathroom. And if it's anything under 30, then you can't take a shit there. So if there's a bathroom 20 feet away from the couch, but there's only one bathroom in the whole house, you can't do it.

There is an oversaturation of dogs on social media

I'm getting on the borderline of getting sick of the oversaturation of dogs on Twitter.

Driving under the influence on a Tuesday night is morally worse than doing it on a weekend

Is that really worse, to be driving under the influence on a Tuesday night? I think that it is, by the way.

Fat is coming back as a trend and Brooklyn will lead the way

Fat is coming back. And good news for you. The first place that it's going to come back, place at the forefront of all these trends, is Brooklyn. You know, like back in the day, if you were fat, it meant that you were well fed and that you could take care of yourself.

The Fourth of July is the drunkest weekend of the year

Fourth of July weekend is maybe the drunkest weekend of the year. Everyone's out. Everyone's summer. It really is like who can drink the most beers all weekend long.

I will enter a zone and eat 75 hot dogs in 10 minutes at the Nathan's contest

Leicester City, 1,500 to 1 odds. Just saying, things happen. Maybe I just get in a zone and I eat 75 hot dogs in 10 minutes.

Grit has been co-opted and ruined by Harvard researchers and psychologists

I've seen over the past, like two years, the pussification of grit in America. Like grit has been co-opted by Harvard researchers, by doctors, by psychologists... It's people trying to teach grit. People who have like a silver spoon in their mouths, a doctor in front of their name, trying to tell me what it means to be gritty.