Takes

Tottenham will win the Premier League this year

Tottenham? Really? Yeah, it's their year... Man City? That feels like maybe a safer bet. But Tottenham.

Offsides should be removed from soccer

Offsides should be taken out of soccer. There should be no offsides.

The USMNT must reach the World Cup quarterfinals in 2026 or it is a massive disappointment.

I'm still, I'm staying my prediction that we need to make it, if we don't make it to at least the quarter finals in the next World Cup. Massive disappointment.

Messi's assist against the Red Bulls was the craziest pass I've ever seen

Beat the Red Bulls scored another or no? Yeah. Unbelievable goal. Probably the craziest pass I've ever seen in the, in the sport of football... I think it was [better than his World Cup pass].

MLS team names like Inter Miami and Real Salt Lake are stupid

I fucking hate MLS team names. Yeah. Inter Miami... I love the entire aesthetic of Inter Miami... but it's just the team names are stupid when it's like inter Miami Ray Salt Lake. FC Sporting kc. Yeah. Gimme a fucking break.

The next US Men's National Team World Cup cycle will be a failure if they don't reach the quarterfinals.

Next world Cup. It's our year. If they don't get to at least the Elite eight... I'm sick of it. That's it. They need to get to the quarter finals. If they don't then it's a failure.

Lionel Messi is the undisputed GOAT after winning the World Cup

My who's back is the World Cup. That game was awesome. Messi is the goat. I mean, Ronaldo, I mean, there's nothing left. Messi has literally won it all. It's all over. He's the goat. Also, no argument left. No debate.

The current USMNT roster is a 'Golden Generation'

The U.S. Men's National Team... suck my dick Italy. They didn't make it. We did... the golden generation for the U.S. soccer team is here. I just hear people say that. It sounds so cool when they say it. So I think we can officially declare because this team is young enough. I'm just going to say, this is our golden generation.

The USMNT will get out of the group stage in the 2022 World Cup

When we make the World Cup, we always get out of pool play.

US Soccer is 'back' and will be a threat in Qatar 2022

US soccer's back big time... Gio Reyna scored an amazing goal... him and Pulisic are tearing up European soccer. So I'm confident in the U.S.'s chances in 2022 in Qatar.

The World Cup ball skips too much this year

When you see that ball take its first bounce on a long pass, it skips. So in every World Cup, at the very start of it, people always freak out about something weird with the ball... This one, the ball skips. So I'm getting out ahead of that one. It skips a little bit too far, and you see a lot of whiffs on half volleys.

Freddie Adu is back and American soccer is saved

Freddie Adu is back, and therefore U.S. soccer is back... News soon. Oh. Yeah. So he's back. He's the future. He is the future of American soccer.