Takes

Luis Suarez's passion for soccer is so high that he's still spitting on staff members in MLS games

I kind of admire Luis Suarez's passion in that he's still so fired up for soccer that he's spitting on an old guy in a Seattle Miami MLS game... that passion's never gone away. He just blacks out. I think that's why he's not retired from soccer.

Offsides should be removed from soccer

Offsides should be taken out of soccer. There should be no offsides.

The USMNT's Copa America match against Uruguay will be their first real test

Uruguay is gonna be a good game. They're very good. We beat the dastardly Bolivians... Panama, they stink. And then Uruguay, they're always good in these tournaments.

The USMNT must reach the World Cup quarterfinals in 2026 or it is a massive disappointment.

I'm still, I'm staying my prediction that we need to make it, if we don't make it to at least the quarter finals in the next World Cup. Massive disappointment.

Messi's assist against the Red Bulls was the craziest pass I've ever seen

Beat the Red Bulls scored another or no? Yeah. Unbelievable goal. Probably the craziest pass I've ever seen in the, in the sport of football... I think it was [better than his World Cup pass].

MLS team names like Inter Miami and Real Salt Lake are stupid

I fucking hate MLS team names. Yeah. Inter Miami... I love the entire aesthetic of Inter Miami... but it's just the team names are stupid when it's like inter Miami Ray Salt Lake. FC Sporting kc. Yeah. Gimme a fucking break.

Lionel Messi is the greatest walker of all time

[Lionel Messi] is elite at walking. He's the greatest walker of all time. They did a whole study about it and he spends the first five minutes just walking around, basically figuring out the weaknesses, weak points in the defense. A lot of times he'll be walking while everyone else is running and his gravity, the way that the defense has to move around to him just walking, changes the whole scope of the game.

The next US Men's National Team World Cup cycle will be a failure if they don't reach the quarterfinals.

Next world Cup. It's our year. If they don't get to at least the Elite eight... I'm sick of it. That's it. They need to get to the quarter finals. If they don't then it's a failure.

The Saudi Arabian soccer league cannot compete with the MLS model of paying aging superstars

Basically they're just completely cucking the MLS's model, which is just pay aging superstars for a fuckload of money to come finish out their career over here. We can't compete with that.

Lionel Messi is the undisputed GOAT after winning the World Cup

Messi is the goat. I mean, Ronaldo, I mean, there's nothing left. Messi has literally won it all. That game was fucking incredible... I'm happy for Messi. I, he's always been my goat and this was literally the last thing he had to win.

The USA vs England 0-0 draw was the greatest tie of all time and should be known as the 'Miracle on Grass'.

It was the best, the greatest tie of all time. The tie heard around the world. We were calling it the the Miracle on Grass. And it was incredible. ... I traveled halfway around the world with a singular mission to bring home a fucking tie to the United States. We did.

The current USMNT roster is a 'Golden Generation'

The U.S. Men's National Team... suck my dick Italy. They didn't make it. We did... the golden generation for the U.S. soccer team is here. I just hear people say that. It sounds so cool when they say it. So I think we can officially declare because this team is young enough. I'm just going to say, this is our golden generation.

The USMNT will get out of the group stage in the 2022 World Cup

When we make the World Cup, we always get out of pool play.

NFL football takes priority over the USMNT World Cup games on Sundays

It's Sunday, we're here. We're watching games. You say, Hey, USA's about to play. You're not getting a TV and I'll watch the games. I'll watch every other, like when football's not on... but we have to, you realize that, right? Not a TV on a Sunday. You have to stand for something.

Michael Bradley only plays for the USMNT because his dad was the coach

The fucking coach's son that just keeps getting [minutes]... He's a guy who gets to play on the US team because his dad was a coach.

England will lose in the semifinals of Euro 2020.

England is going to lose in the semifinals, although I am addicted to saying it's coming home.

US Soccer is 'back' and will be a threat in Qatar 2022

US soccer's back big time... Gio Reyna scored an amazing goal... him and Pulisic are tearing up European soccer. So I'm confident in the U.S.'s chances in 2022 in Qatar.

The US Men's National Team future looks bleak after their Under-20 World Cup performance

We got our asses kicked in the under-20 World Cup. The future's not here. Not here for the men.

I prefer watching women's soccer over men's soccer because the U.S. actually wins.

I actually like watching women's soccer better than men's soccer because we actually win in women's soccer.

Freddie Adu is back and American soccer is officially saved

Freddie Adu is back, and therefore U.S. soccer is back... News soon. Oh. Yeah. So he's back. He's the future. He is the future of American soccer. Yeah. He is American soccer.

Lacrosse teams should just shoot the puck/ball more

I feel like they need to shoot more. I'm just going to say it. As a coach, if I was a coach of a lax team, I'd say just shoot. Shoot the puck a little bit more... Just put pucks on net.