Takes

Hank says he's more confident than ever that the Patriots will win the Super Bowl

I'm excited. I feel more confident than ever. Better than ever. Did I stutter?

Hank dismisses Drake May's shoulder injury and calls Twitter doctors 'fake doctors'

He missed a couple throws. He'll be fine. He's a young buck. All the fake doctors on Twitter are making stuff up, but I'm not concerned about his shoulder. They act like they're in the know. They're just watching the same football that we are.

If the Seahawks win the Super Bowl, the 2018 draft becomes the Sam Darnold draft instead of the Josh Allen/Lamar Jackson draft

[PFT]: If the Seahawks win, does that become the Sam Darnold draft? [Big Cat]: I think it might be. I think it would have to become the Sam Darnold draft. I think it might be. Yeah, it might be right.

Mike Vrabel's coaching genius and attention to detail could be the biggest thing the Patriots have going for them in the Super Bowl

There's a genius to the way that Vrabel coaches. I think he's able to outsmart arguably any coach in the league right now. That's the biggest thing the Patriots have going for them in the Super Bowl. Little things like that. There's a genius to the way that Vrabel coaches.

Shedeur Sanders making the Pro Bowl will be the death of the game

This might be what kills the Pro Bowl. We've been begging for the Pro Bowl to die. It's been on life support and it's been time to pull the plug for a while. And maybe the fact that Shedeur [Sanders] made it, that should be the end of the line.

Matt Nagy might be the next Eagles offensive coordinator

Can I throw out a name that maybe has misplayed his hand a little bit? Matt Nagy... maybe Matt Nagy is the guy. He is from Pennsylvania 'cause he played quarterback at Delaware. So maybe he's ready for it.

The Patriots have a massive coaching edge in the Super Bowl because Mike Vrabel and Josh McDaniels have been there before

Mike Vrabel and Josh McDaniels have been here before. They know what it takes and what they have to do in the two weeks leading up to the Super Bowl. They know every single facet of Super Bowl preparation, they are gonna have the Patriots more prepared than the Seahawks will. That is what it ultimately comes down to.

I bet $40,000 on the Patriots money line in the Super Bowl against Hank

What if I put a $40,000 bet on the Patriots money line in the Super Bowl? When it hits you get $80,000, then I keep the rest... [Hank] let's do that. Let's shake on that.

Daily ice cream consumption can reduce diabetes risk by 50%

Ice cream might save the planet. The healthy fats in ice cream can protect you against so many things... 50% reduction in diabetes [from] one serving a day. I believe it.

I am betting $80,000 on the New England Patriots money line in Super Bowl 60

Commenter always pays his bets... so 80 grand. Just straight up money line. If the Patriots win the Super Bowl, you go 80 grand. Fuck it. I love it.

The Patriots will defeat the Seahawks 28-24 in Super Bowl 60

I was playing out a scenario... which quarterback would you rather be going up against? And it's Sam Darnold. I think it will be a close game. I will go, I don't know, 28, 24 Patriots.

Jarrett Stidham might have a vestigial tail that acts as a biological gyroscope for his balance

J Stidham might have a tail. An actual tail. ... Everybody was thinking that J Stidham might have a tail. ... if you have a tail, it helps you balance. It acts like a stabilizer. When you're twisting, when you're throwing, it's a biological gyroscope.

Society will collapse and we are living in a simulation if the Rams beat the Broncos 23-14 in the Super Bowl

O's the Mentalist made a prediction for the Super Bowl... the Rams to beat the Broncos 23 to 14. If that does happen, I think we can all agree that this is all a simulation and everything is fake. Society will collapse if O's the Mentalist is right about his Super Bowl pick and the score... that is proof that none of this is real. We're living in a computer.

The New England Patriots are the scrappy underdogs of the 2026 NFL playoffs

I've enjoyed being the, the scrappy underdog that no one believes in... no one's believed in us.

The US government will confirm the existence of aliens this week

Aliens might drop this week. Like, like there's aliens might drop this week... [The White House] might confirm the existence of aliens as early as this week. And just be ready for the outcome of that.

I will finish Justin Gaethje within the first three rounds at UFC 324

We're not gonna see championship rounds... he's getting finished in the first three. I'd love to knock him out. You know what I mean? With a cartwheel kick or something. Something spectacular.

TV companies are intentionally degrading the quality of old game broadcasts to sell 4K TVs

I think somebody's going back and making the feeds worse... If you try to watch a game that's from the year 2009. Yeah. Online. Yeah. It, it looks like it was shot in a, a basement camcorder situation... I swear to God, when we watch football in 2009, it looked good on tv. It didn't look like that.

The Bears are just going to win the Super Bowl

And I, in that moment [after the Cole Kmet touchdown] was like, I think the Bears are just gonna win the Super Bowl. They're just gonna, they're just gonna pull Miracle After Miracle, because that play was so dead.

Bo Nix's injury was a 'soft benching' by Sean Payton

Is this the most high profile soft benching of all time?... Think about it. If, if, if Sean Payton benched Bo Nix, everyone would riot. Now he's got a fractured ankle and he's going to Alabama and it's Diddy [Stidham], his guy.

The Bears and Rams game will be a shootout where the Bears need to score at least 38 points to win.

I think it's going to come down to a shootout... our defense is not great. I kind of jokingly said 38 [points] and I'm kind of like, was I getting [there]? Because you can take a look at Matt Stafford... he's been the MVP of the league. Caleb has to string together four quarters of clean football.

The Seahawks will beat the Broncos in the Super Bowl.

I've got the Seahawks beating the Bears in Seattle and then I've got the Seahawks beating the Broncos in the Super Bowl. Ooh. A little Seahawk. And I know it's chalky... just because they're higher seeds doesn't mean they're better teams.

The electrical substation next to the 49ers facility is causing player injuries by dehydrating their cells.

The wireless stuff, basically it dries you out on the inside. So have you ever taken a rubber band and like left it out in the sun and it goes from being nice and stretchy to being brittle and snaps? ... there's been a lot of research in the past 50 years... showing that it can cause cause harm at the cellular level by dehydrating yourselves among other things.

LeBron James will announce his retirement at the All-Star Game

He's gonna announce he's retiring at the All-Star game. They're gonna rig it so that he can win the all-star MVP. It's in LA. And then he's gonna say, I'm retiring.

The Rams will beat the Bills in the Super Bowl

I'm going Rams, Bills Super Bowl and I'm going Matthew Stafford and the Rams win the Super Bowl. That's, that's my prediction.

The Rams are the favorites to win the NFC

I don't know what the odds are right now, but [the Rams] feel to me like they might be, in my mind, the favorite to win the NFC.

The Bears can reach the Super Bowl if they manage to get three takeaways per game.

Bears can go to the Super Bowl if they get three takeaways a game. I do [believe that]. I am very confident in Caleb Williams. The offense has to start fast.

The Eagles will win easily against the 49ers because of Kyle Shanahan's historical struggles against Vic Fangio.

I think the Eagles are gonna win this game easily... Kyle Shanahan has faced Vic Fangio four times in their career. 11 points, 6 points, 15 points, 9 points. Those are the points that Kyle Shanahan has scored against Vic Fangio.

The 49ers' high injury rate is caused by an electrical substation next to their practice field

Only one variable is unique and the players know it in their guts... Players have joked around about there being an electrical substation right next to the practice field and how that has led to the Niners injury problems... This guy went to the practice field with a gause meter. It read 8.5 plus milligauss.

The Chargers' defense will shut down Drake May and surprise the Patriots in the wild card round.

I think the defense is gonna shut Drake May down. I think we're gonna surprise some people this weekend. That's f***ing bolt up.

Mike McDaniel will likely become the Commanders' offensive coordinator because of his relationship with Dan Quinn

The reason why I think [McDaniel] might, he might be a commander. Offensive coordinators. He loves Dan Quinn. ... Dan was like his number one advocate when it came to getting him sober and supporting [him]. ... He's probably odds on favor that it's gonna be the commanders.

The Eagles will easily beat the 49ers in their Wild Card matchup

I'm not just trying to gas you up, Max. I think the Eagles are gonna win this game easily. ... One of my favorite themes that happens every January when the Eagles are in the playoffs is we just get stories of local bars denying service to opposing fans.

The 49ers' high injury rate is caused by an electrical substation next to their practice field

The 49ers are statistically the most injured team in the NFL over the past decade since moving to Levi's stadium... Only one variable is unique and the players know it in their guts. ... Players have joked around about there being an electrical substation right next to the practice field and how that has led to the Niners injury problems. ... This guy is saying that the Niners are just getting bombarded with electric waves all day, which is fucking up their bodies.

The Chargers' defense will shut down Drake Maye and surprise the Patriots this weekend

I think the defense is gonna shut Drake Maye down. I think we're gonna surprise some people this weekend. That's fucking bolt up.

NFL teams should consider Pete Carroll for their head coaching vacancies

There is a name out there that I think these teams should consider for head coach and he's not a hot young guy. Okay. He's a hot old guy. What about Pete Carroll? Someone should give a look at Pete Carroll.

Brian Daboll would be an awesome offensive coordinator hire for the Commanders

I would like to see Dbol. I think Brian Dbol will be a great offensive coordinator in DC... that makes me think we might be getting Brian Dbol, which I think would be an awesome hire. That would be, I think he's a great, I I've said for a long time that like I think he could be a good head coach one day too.

The Steelers are into the playoffs and I think they could win a game

The Steelers are into the playoffs and I still think they could win a playoff game. Now they're playing the Texans. I think they might.

Matthew Stafford shouldn't win MVP because he has too many one-yard touchdowns

Matthew Stafford, MVP? He put together a hell of a season. So many one yard touchdowns. If that was the award, he should get it. This is 10 times over.

The U is officially back and Miami can win the national title

The U is back. The U is so back. Absolutely win the title. So yeah, that was, that was New Year's Eve, which it wasn't like the most exciting game, but it was exciting to see a team dominate Ohio State the way they did.

Tyler Shuck is the hands-down NFL Offensive Rookie of the Year

Could you imagine this guy not winning rookie of the year? No. Oh, he is a rookie that your hands down easily. Hands down.

Drake Maye is going to win the NFL MVP

Congratulations. It, it feels like Drake Maye's gonna win the MVP. It does. It, it definitely feels that way. Yeah. Matthew Stafford's Monday Night Performance kind of cemented it.

Chase Brown will be the AP Offensive Player of the Year

I'm gonna say it right now. AP offensive player of the year. Chase Brown. Wow... Think about it.

Bo Nix is 'dog phobic' because he is secretly a dog himself

He is afraid of dogs because he's worried that deep down inside... he's gonna have to tell his parents 'I'm a dog.' I think he's trying to suppress his inner dog because he knows if he becomes the dog that bit him, it's watch out world. He got bit by a dog as a child and became a dog.

Mike Tomlin has to be fired by the Steelers

Regardless of what happens next week, Tomlin's gotta go. I mean, he just gotta go. It's stale. He has a losing record in the playoffs. He refuses, he changes offensive coordinators all the time. Defense coordinators, the seasons all look the same... everything is always the same because it's Mike Tomlin.

The Steelers will beat the Texans in the playoffs

If they win on Sunday night, they will beat the Texans. That's a fact. I'm not worried about the Texans. I was worried about the Bills and the other teams and the Jaguars. But I think they could beat the Texans.

Tyler Shough should win NFL Offensive Rookie of the Year

Tyler Shough today with his wide receiver two and three out, RB one, two, and three out... takes the Saints down the field time and time again... there's just something about Tyler Shough... He should win Rookie of the Year. Shook of the year.

Kyle Shanahan should be the NFL Coach of the Year

I still think that Kyle Shanahan should be the coach of the year. I feel like that this is... an incredible season for 'em. Given all that they've gone through and all the people that they're missing and how they might get the one seed. This is his best job that he is ever done coaching in the regular season.

The Chicago Bears will face the Houston Texans in the Super Bowl

I'm actually rooting for the Bears to beat the Packers Bears to get the Super Bowl against the Texans. Because I would that, that if the Texans beat the Bears in the Super Bowl [I'll cut off my pinky].

The Steelers will win at least two playoff games this season

I'm thinking two playoff wins... Minimum two playoff wins right now. And listen, I mean, can you say [Aaron] Rogers has been pretty damn good this year? Yes... He's dialed in.

Lamar Jackson has radiation poisoning from getting too many MRIs

Do you think Lamar Jackson has radiation poisoning? Mm. From all the MRIs. Too many MRIs and all the x-rays... It might be like Chernobyl.

Tyler Shuck should win NFL Offensive Rookie of the Year

He should win Rookie of the Year. Right now he's second in odds on DK... if Tyler Shuck ends the year on this winning streak, it has to be Tyler Shuck. If he ends the year six and three as a starter, insane.