Takes

Cristiano Ronaldo is not a top three Ronaldo

It's time that we have an honest conversation about Ronaldo. I don't even think he's a top three Ronaldo. You've got Ronaldo, you've got Ronaldinho, who is named Ronaldo... Fat Ronaldo. He's number six overall Ronaldo.

Calling off the Denmark vs. Finland match after Christian Eriksen's collapse was the right move.

They called the game off, which was probably the right thing to do... then Christian Eriksen gets on a zoom call... tells them, I want you guys to play the game. Then they went out there and played.

'Read the room' people on Twitter are the worst.

The 'read the room' people are the worst people in the world because I still can't for the life of me understand how being affected by something and then spending that time immediately after replying to other people to 'read the room' is you showing your lack of room-reading abilities.

Messi is better than Ronaldo because he is better at cheating on his taxes

Messi is probably got like a billion... He's better at shooting us, he got away with cheating on taxes for longer than Ronaldo did. Rinaldo you bitch. Messy has one, two, three, four, five, six golden boots. Count the booties.

Rick Pitino is definitely a guy who has nipple rings

I think the two of them probably have a lot in common as you like Cuomo Rick Pitino has probably a nipple ring guy. Yeah. Oh, yeah big time nipple ring guy if he doesn't have them he loves them.

Celebrating a tie in soccer is un-American and makes me want to puke

The amount of celebration over a tie makes me want to puke... Very un-American. We play to win the game. That's why we've won every war we've ever been in. That's America.

Soccer needs scandals like the Kardashians or star players fighting fans to blow up in America

I really do think, though, that soccer, if soccer wants to blow up in America, they need to start just doing the things that are classic American sports. Someone needs to date a Kardashian. Someone needs to maybe tweet a picture of their penis by accident. Go into the stands and fight a guy.

There is no such thing as an expatriate; if an American works overseas, they are still ours and must pay taxes.

I guess the technical term, [Christian Pulisic] works overseas, so he's an expatriate. But as we discussed earlier with Chris Long, there are no such things as expatriates. So we'll claim him. Someone make sure that he's paying taxes.

The German soccer team's aggression always comes too late in major matches

And once again, the German subs were a little bit too late. A little too late. And I noticed that their aggression didn't come until a little bit later, too. Usually the Germans are a little bit more aggressive early on.