Takes

The MLB is on pace for a Subway Series this fall

For a second, it occurred to me that we're on pace for a Subway Series this fall. Because the Yankees look really good.

Banks should show you your recurring monthly charges so you can see where you're wasting money

How come when I log into my Bank of America account... all I really want to see is what my recurring monthly charges are? Because I'm sure I'm probably spending $200 a month on stuff that I don't use anymore. How come banks just haven't figured out a way to be like, hey, here's what you're wasting money.

Villanova is hands down the best team in the tournament

I think they're hands down the best team in the tournament. And they have a ginger that dunks. Which is very deceiving, right? It's like, you have it all. What do you get a team that has it all? You got guys who can shoot. You got guys who can play down low. You got NBA draft picks.

It is an honor to be invited to the White House regardless of political views

If we win the World Series, am I going to the White House? I think it's an honor to be invited to the White House. No matter your political view or whatnot, there's a lot of history there.

Physical wide receivers are harder to cover than fast ones

I think a wide receiver, that's physical [is harder]. Just for the simple fact, they could push you everywhere, but you're not allowed to touch them at all.

Deion Sanders is the best cornerback in NFL history

Who is the best cornerback in the history of the NFL? Deion Sanders, Jason Sehorn? I'm going with Deion Sanders.

Ordering a steak 'medium rare plus' is a legitimate and common request

When I go to a steak place, I order medium rare plus. Is that real? ... It's basically asking for medium rare, true medium rare. Because I also always find that really nice steakhouses always undercook it just a little bit.

MLB Opening Day should be a national holiday

I'm extremely excited about opening day because for the first time, you're going to have all 30 teams playing on the same day, March 29th. It should be a national holiday. Everybody should be up for work. Even you guys should be just watching baseball that day.

The Dodgers will be special and could win the World Series in 2018

It's not going to be Houston again. It's hard to go back to back. I believe the Dodgers can be a special this year.

The 2018 first weekend was the craziest in NCAA tournament history

I actually I'm gonna say it: it was the craziest first weekend in tournament history. We had the first ever 16 beat a one... you had two seeds that both could have won the tournament, UNC and Cincy, and then you had two three seeds, Michigan State and Tennessee, who lost.

2018 is the year Mark Few and Gonzaga finally break through to the Final Four

If it's going to be any year, Xavier's out, the one is out, and the two is out in their bracket. So Gonzaga could finally make their first Final Four, and Mark Few could finally be talked about as one of the best coaches in basketball.

Villanova is the best team in the 2018 NCAA tournament

Nova, absolutely. Nova's the best team in the thing so far, I think.

I chose retirement to avoid moving my family for a one-year deal

It's going to be a one year deal. So it's probably going to only be for six months. And then I'm going to move back to Nebraska... If I was going to play, I felt like it was going to be me being a little bit selfish because it's been about me the last 10 years. So maybe it's time to be about my family a little bit more.

Don't bet every game of the NCAA Tournament if you want to win money.

You survive March Madness by not betting every game... You can't bet every game and beat these guys. The lines are too tough.

Tiger Woods return has a trickle-down effect on the US economy

My cool throne is the United States economy because Tiger Woods is back... Tiger Woods actually does have a trickle-down effect on the United States economy.

Butler is doomed in the tournament because live animals aren't allowed in the stadium

In the first two rounds of this tournament, there will be zero live animals allowed into the buildings. So there are going to be tons of teams that don't have their live bulldog mascots. Butler's fucked.

North Carolina will win the West Region

I think it's North Carolina's to lose. I think Gonzaga could give them a fun game in the Elite Eight, but I think Carolina's the best team.

Villanova will go to the Final Four if they survive the second round

Villanova got a great draw if they can just get over the second-round hump... If you're asking me, is West Virginia better than Villanova, the answer is clearly no. I think it's Villanova.

Duke is going to win the national championship

Duke is winning it all... Them and Michigan State are the only two teams in college basketball that are top ten defense and offense in KenPalm. It just feels like a Duke year.

Jordy Nelson is Bill Belichick's wet dream

I'm more interested about Jordy Nelson because if he's still capable of playing how he played two years ago before he got injured, he is Bill Belichick's wet dream. Belichick is going to send in a SWAT team to just kidnap him.

Duke is 100% guaranteed to win the 2018 National Championship

We all know that Duke's winning the national championship, so we don't have to worry about that. Play one shining moment right now. Yes, it's over.

College athletes should get paid because they put their bodies on the line to raise money for universities

Yes, they should get paid. I mean, they're putting their body on the line. They're doing all of the above and raising money and putting money in your pocket. I mean, you should do something, especially for the guys that get hurt.

Russell Wilson is a top seven quarterback

Russ Wilson is still, I don't want to get in the offseason elite question, but I would say he's top seven quarterback.

Russell Wilson is the hardest quarterback to play against

Probably Russell Wilson... Just because he just breaks up the plays and you never get a hand on him? Yeah, he don't get tired, man. He run left, right, left, right... with Russell Wilson, he's trying to take the distance every single time.

College basketball and the Little League World Series have the most in-game crying in sports

I don't know what it is, but it's college basketball has the most. It's probably it's Little League World Series and then college basketball for most tears in game.

The Thursday noon game in the NCAA tournament is a fan's death sentence

The Thursday noon game, if your team gets that, it's a death sentence. You get really drunk on Friday, and then you can watch your team on Sunday hungover.

Pizza Hut deserves more recognition now that they are the official NFL sponsor

My cool throne is Pizza Hut. We didn't really talk about this on the show last week, but Pizza Hut is now the official sponsor of the NFL. And that's huge because Pizza Hut's delicious, and I'm just happy that they're getting the recognition they deserve.

Tony Romo was surprisingly good in his first year as an announcer

I swear to God on the lives of everyone I love, I was absolutely blown away at how good [Tony Romo] was. I really was. I was predicting he was going to have a tough transition because you have to be loud and you have to be kind of over the top... I thought he was fantastic.

NFL replays are too long and break the game's momentum

I think the replays are too long. It's too hair-splitting. It breaks up the momentum and the pace of a game. And I think eventually people are like... Just move on.

Oracle Park in San Francisco is leaps and bounds better than any other new ballpark

I think San Francisco, of all the new ballparks, is... Leaps and bounds. But the worse your seat is, the better your view. You're looking out into the bay.

Bullpen carts are the only thing baseball is currently doing right

The bullpen cart is back, which is incredible. Like baseball finally doing something right. I don't care about pace of play. I really don't. ... It speeds up the game when it really probably takes four seconds off, maybe.

Morning sex is the best kind of sex, especially in a hotel

I'm going to go on the record. Morning sex is the best sex there is. Hotel sex. In the morning. Ooh. Double threat.

Men and women should never stop grooming their pubic hair

What is the age where it is normal that you stop shaving or waxing your pubes? ... Never is the answer. ... I think you always ... Guys and girls. You got to keep it together down there. I mean, would you let your lawn just go unkempt?

October is the best sports month, but March is a close second

I think October is probably my favorite month in terms of sports because you have football and baseball playoffs. But March is pretty close because there is nothing like wall-to-wall college basketball and championship week.

The Chicago Bears have the best fans in the NFL

Who has the best fans in the NFL? Chicago. That's an easy one. I'm positive.

High-end restaurants are doing it wrong by not having pictures of the food on the menu

What would you guys say is the one thing that tells you a restaurant is classy?... It is pictures on the menu, so you know what the food looks like. So I went to a really classy dinner last Friday, and they didn't have pictures on the menu... they need to have a picture option. So it's like a Denny's or an IHOP, but you're eating at a Michelin-rated restaurant.

Get Out will win Best Picture at the Oscars

I'm going to go with Get Out. [for Best Picture winner]

Dunkirk will win Best Picture because the Oscars love movies about British history

I'll go with Dunkirk because I feel like the Oscars loves picking movies there no one talks [about]. God they love picking those. I'm going Dunkirk as well.

The NFL should stop the clock after first downs under two minutes like college football

The only rule I really want to see in the NFL is I want the NFL to... adopt the clock stops after a first down under two minutes like the college... Because it makes – you can come back with 45 seconds left. It's awesome to watch.

The internet is a 'hustler's paradise' for content creators

It's a hustler's paradise in the content world. And it really becomes like the forefront of your mind for everything. So it's like it never stops.

Blake Bortles is a lock to be the Jaguars' starter next year

So I guess Blake is, I guess, a minute as a starter next year. Yeah. So Kirk Cousins, one less spot.

The NCAA basketball scandal is not ruining the sport, but changing it for the better

No, college basketball as we know it's getting changed and changed for the better... you can't have people running around on college campuses giving kids money... but not ruin but change and I think change for the better fellas.

Michigan will likely win the Big Ten tournament

Well, Michigan's playing better than anybody... I'll say they're playing the best... Back to the Big Ten term, don't be surprised if Michigan doesn't win it. Michigan's damn good right now.

A bar should be composed of multiple mini-bars with different themes and living room seating

What I'm thinking of doing with my idea is it's a bar, but there are like 10 different... Well, it's a bar slash restaurant, but there are 10 different bars that you go up to and you sit down at those bars. So instead of waiters and waitresses walking all around... It's just mini bars everywhere... You can have couches. You can have lazy boys.

You can't have a tie in the Olympics; make them go again

I also saw that the bobsled team from Canada and Germany tied. Both got golds. How is that possible? Again, I'm not trying to be an Olympic hater, but you can't have a tie in the Olympics. You can't. It's the Olympics. Make them do it again. Go down one more time. What the hell are they doing?

The Nashville Predators or Pittsburgh Penguins will win the 2018 Stanley Cup

If I had to go gun to your head... safe bet, I'd probably pick Nashville. East is going to be tough. Let's go, I'll say Pittsburgh again.

Defense in the NBA All-Star game is not fun

they decided to play defense in the All-Star game, so that's not fun. Especially for those of us that had the over.

Trae Young and Oklahoma are struggling with fatigue and spacing, not a lack of talent

I don't see him [Trae Young] playing as quick as the last week or so... I think the whole mental fatigue, physical fatigue, everybody's got that in February. Sometimes you just got to get back to playing quicker... if his team can stay committed to the spacing and they've got to start to string some stops together, I think they'll be just fine.

Gonzaga is currently undervalued and capable of a deep tournament run

My initial reaction to that question [dark horse] would be Gonzaga. I think they are really good. I think they can go to the bench. I think Rui Hachimura is a potential breakout star... I really like their team.

The Russian curler using performance-enhancing drugs proves curlers are taking it seriously

one of the Russian athletes got busted for using drugs and it was a curler... So curlers are now taking performance enhancing drugs. Well, it's Russia. Adderall... you have to dope if you're in Russia.