PMT DB
PMT DB
Rick Pitino’s Presser, Matt Jones, and Mr. Portnoy’s Passwords
Big Cat and PFT Commenter are officially website owners and operators. The guys have launched draftjoshallen.com, a one-stop-shop for the only quarterback that matters in the 2018 NFL Draft. While Mel Kiper is just now catching up to the movement, the guys have been in the Josh Allen closet for months and are finally ready to monetize the big-armed prospect from Wyoming.
Big CatJosh Allen will be the number one overall pick in the 2018 NFL Draft
We now have a place for all you Josh Allen fans out there to learn more about Josh Allen at draftjoshallen.com. I, for one, feel bullish about where we're going with this website... [Mel Kiper] putting Josh Allen at number one on his big board. Twice, though.
Friday Brain Dump
With the NBA in a lull and March Madness still a few weeks away, the guys opened up their minds for a Friday brain dump. PFT Commenter has a vision for the future of hospitality that involves doing away with wobbly tables and replacing them with a series of themed mini-bars where you just sit on your own couch.
PFT CommenterA bar should be composed of multiple mini-bars with different themes and living room seating
What I'm thinking of doing with my idea is it's a bar, but there are like 10 different... Well, it's a bar slash restaurant, but there are 10 different bars that you go up to and you sit down at those bars. So instead of waiters and waitresses walking all around... It's just mini bars everywhere... You can have couches. You can have lazy boys.
Big Cat, meanwhile, is looking to disrupt the YouTube economy. After getting tricked by too many Olympic highlight videos that turned out to be still images with a guy talking, he realized there is a fortune to be made in the bait-and-switch game.
Big CatWe can make millions of dollars using bait-and-switch YouTube videos
Why don't we do that? We could be making millions. We need to create the fake YouTube account and then be like, oh, my God, check out the biggest play from the Super Bowl. And then it's just us pitching Pardon My Take at draftjoshallen.com and Bitcoin to Jen... I think we could actually make a lot of money off the bait and switch on YouTube.
They also touched on some of the deeper questions in life, like why Skip Bayless and Shannon Sharpe are forced to talk about the same LeBron vs. MJ debate every single morning. Big Cat thinks he’s found the logistical error at the heart of FS1.
Big CatThe 'Undisputed' hosts talk about LeBron vs. MJ every day because someone accidentally used permanent marker on their whiteboard
I think that someone in that building [Undisputed], there's probably a whiteboard with the show set up every day, and someone accidentally did it in permanent marker. So it's just on there every day... I think they literally just forgot to put it in dry erase. So every day they get in there and they're like, what do we have on the show topics? And it's LeBron MJ there.
Crashing the Pitino Presser
In a move that probably violated several security protocols at a high-end Manhattan law firm, Big Cat and PFT Commenter successfully snuck into Rick Pitino’s press conference. Dressed in their finest "belt-ready" pants and button-downs, they managed to blend in with the Big J journalists just long enough to ask the legendary coach a few questions. Big Cat walked away feeling surprisingly sympathetic toward the coach.
Big CatRick Pitino didn't have a chance to defend himself against the NCAA
I'm standing up for Rick in that point. He didn't have a chance to defend himself... I think we are now officially a free Rick Pitino podcast because I was moved. I was moved.
To get a local perspective on the chaos in Louisville, the guys called up Matt Jones from Kentucky Sports Radio. Matt broke down the absolute hilarity of Louisville fans protesting their vacated title by hanging fake banners in bars. Big Cat still thinks the punishment itself doesn't fit the crime.
Big CatThe NCAA taking down a championship banner is the most ridiculous punishment in all of sports
The act of the NCAA taking down a banner is the most ridiculous punishment in all of sports... [Michigan] should actually get Louisville's banner so they're allowed to hang it up but it says Louisville [on it].
Matt Jones didn't stop at the Cardinals. He looked ahead to the tournament and the ongoing FBI investigation, naming the programs that should be sweating the most. He also had some very strong words for Tony Bennett’s squad in Charlottesville.
Matt JonesVirginia will not win the championship because their style of basketball is too terrible
I can tell you the team that's not going to win. I guarantee you Virginia won't win because God does not allow that terrible form of basketball to win a championship.
Mr. Portnoy’s Complaints
Our former lawyer and current Sirius XM star Mr. Portnoy called in to discuss his rising fame and his growing list of grievances with technology. He’s currently at war with Apple because he can’t see his screen through his prescription sunglasses and is convinced that the newest hardware is a step backward for mankind.
Mr. PortnoyThe iPhone X is a terrible phone for actual communication
I understand from people I know that are very close to me that, for instance, the iPhone, I think it's the iPhone 8 through 10, that as a telephone... They're very poor. Using this as a phone to communicate... especially like the iPhone X, it's terrible on the telephone.
Things took a turn for the worse when the discussion shifted to online banking. Mr. Portnoy is convinced that TD Bank is personally targeting him with website updates designed to lock him out of his own money. In an attempt to help him, Big Cat accidentally revealed one of Mr. Portnoy’s actual passwords to the entire world, sending the elder Portnoy into a tailspin of anxiety that will likely result in a very thick new folder of handwritten passwords.
Olympic Update and Sabermetrics
The guys celebrated the US Women’s Hockey team taking down Canada in a thriller. It was a massive win for the Red, White, and Blue, and a devastating blow to our neighbors to the north who take their ice sports a little too seriously.
Big CatUS Women's Hockey beating Canada is more meaningful because hockey is all they have
It just feels good to beat Canada because you know in hockey, that's all they have. It bothers them a lot. And Canadians can't get bothered... We know you're bothered. We know you're triggered right now.
Before heading out for the weekend, Big Cat checked in with some "Sabermetrics" from his own soccer club, Swansea City. Their manager, Carlos Carvalhal, provided a perfect analogy for why traditional statistics often lie to you.
Big CatStatistics are flawed because they ignore actual distribution (the chicken math analogy)
It's like if you and me went for a picnic. We take a chicken and I eat all of it and you have none. But statistically, you have eaten half of the chicken. This is why I don't look at statistics... you can't really do the stats when you don't know who actually ate the chicken.
Watch out for those fake YouTube highlights, and we'll see you on Monday.
