Mr. Portnoy, Crashing Rick Pitino's Press Conference, Matt Jones, And We Bought A Website

Josh Allen will be the number one overall pick in the 2018 NFL Draft

We now have a place for all you Josh Allen fans out there to learn more about Josh Allen at draftjoshallen.com. I, for one, feel bullish about where we're going with this... [Mel Kiper] basically just putting Josh Allen at number one on his big board. Twice, though.

Rick Pitino didn't have a chance to defend himself against the NCAA

I'm standing up for Rick in that point. He didn't have a chance to defend himself... I think we are now officially a free Rick Pitino podcast because I was moved. I was moved.

A bar should be composed of multiple mini-bars with different themes and living room seating

What I'm thinking of doing with my idea is it's a bar, but there are like 10 different... Well, it's a bar slash restaurant, but there are 10 different bars that you go up to and you sit down at those bars. So instead of waiters and waitresses walking all around... It's just mini bars everywhere... You can have couches. You can have lazy boys.

We can make millions of dollars using bait-and-switch YouTube videos

Why don't we do that? We could be making millions. We need to create the fake YouTube account and then be like, oh, my God, check out the biggest play from the Super Bowl. And then it's just us pitching Pardon My Take at draftjoshallen.com and Bitcoin to Jen... I think we could actually make a lot of money off the bait and switch on YouTube.

Kansas and Arizona are the two schools most at risk in the FBI scandal

The FBI scandal, the thing that no one talks about is I think Kansas and Arizona are the two schools most at risk, but your boys down at Duke, I'd be nervous if I were them because Jeff Capel kind of buddies with those with these dudes that are implicated in the FBI.

Virginia will not win the championship because their style of basketball is too terrible

I can tell you the team that's not going to win. I guarantee you Virginia won't win because God does not allow that terrible form of basketball to win a championship. It's like poking your eyes out with scissors to watch them play.

Kentucky fans will be fine with John Calipari if he reaches the Sweet 16 this year

Probably Sweet 16. You get to the Sweet 16, considering how bad they were most of the year, I think fans would be completely fine.

The iPhone X is a terrible phone for actual communication

I understand from people I know that are very close to me that, for instance, the iPhone, I think it's the iPhone 8 through 10, that as a telephone... They're very poor. Using this as a phone to communicate... especially like the iPhone X, it's terrible on the telephone.

US Women's Hockey beating Canada is more meaningful because hockey is all they have

It just feels good to beat Canada because you know in hockey, that's all they have. It bothers them a lot. And Canadians can't get bothered... We know you're bothered. We know you're triggered right now.

The 2018 Winter Olympics have been the least viral Olympics of all time

I have no stats to back this up, but these have been the least viral Olympics of all time... Not letting people tweet in Instagram clips. Otherwise, you take their accounts down. So dumb. I tried to look at people for highlights of the hockey game, and it was just tweets.

MLB should allow managers to bat anyone on the roster out of order in the 9th inning

The rule is that in the bottom of the ninth, your manager is allowed to bat anyone, anyone on your roster, out of order, doesn't matter, makes the game more exciting... I actually like this rule. It's insane. The closer position would basically be obsolete, but it's a cool rule.