Mark Titus with March Madness Tips + NFL Free Agency

Kirk Cousins is just a more reliable version of Case Keenum

The Vikings have decided that they wanted to upgrade from Case Keenum to maybe a more reliable Case Keenum. Kirk Cousins is not that much different... lightning in a bottle Case Keenum, I think is the same as Kirk Cousins.

Kirk Cousins is only good enough to take a team exactly where they already were

As somebody who's watched a lot of Kirk Cousins games over the past like five years, he is just good enough to get you exactly where you got last [year].

Sam Bradford is a walking cryptocurrency

I think he's [Sam Bradford] actually just a cryptocurrency. I think he's like his own Bitcoin. I've been buying a lot of Sam Bradford coins, so I'm going to be rich someday.

The Chicago Bears are officially back

I think the Bears might be back. Yeah, I think the Bears are on their way back. Open up. Tell you what, they have their number one wide receiver coming back, Kevin White. And now they've got AR-15.

Tiger Woods return has a trickle-down effect on the US economy

My cool throne is the United States economy because Tiger Woods is back... Tiger Woods actually does have a trickle-down effect on the United States economy.

Butler is doomed in the tournament because live animals aren't allowed in the stadium

In the first two rounds of this tournament, there will be zero live animals allowed into the buildings. So there are going to be tons of teams that don't have their live bulldog mascots. Butler's fucked.

Virginia is the best team in college basketball but losing DeAndre Hunter is a massive blow

I think [Virginia] were definitely the best team in college basketball... But this injury does matter a lot. DeAndre Hunter was one of the guys that made me optimistic about this Virginia team versus their teams of the past.

Davidson is the perfect team to upset Kentucky

Davidson over Kentucky, even though I really like Kentucky... Davidson's red hot... They feel like the perfect upset kind of team that they have upperclassmen and a lot of different guys who can score.

Xavier is the weakest #1 seed and lucky to be there

Xavier's definitely the weakest one seed. I don't love teams that don't play defense in March... Xavier feels like one of those teams to me that their defense is going to come catch up to them. They're going to look really bad.

North Carolina will win the West Region

I think it's North Carolina's to lose. I think Gonzaga could give them a fun game in the Elite Eight, but I think Carolina's the best team.

Villanova will go to the Final Four if they survive the second round

Villanova got a great draw if they can just get over the second-round hump... If you're asking me, is West Virginia better than Villanova, the answer is clearly no. I think it's Villanova.

Purdue is the Toronto Raptors of the NCAA tournament

The Purdue Boilermakers are the Toronto Raptors of the tournament. No matter how good they look in the regular season... they feel like the most unthreatening two-seed in the world.

Penn could be the first #16 seed to ever beat a #1 seed

I'm going to say this is the year that a 16 over one happens because why not? ... Penn, Kansas seems to be the one... If Kansas played Penn in a seven-game series, they're obviously going to move on, but it's a one-shot deal.

Duke is going to win the national championship

Duke is winning it all... Them and Michigan State are the only two teams in college basketball that are top ten defense and offense in KenPalm. It just feels like a Duke year.

Marshall will pull a first-round upset over Wichita State

I'll call my shot. I'm going to take Marshall over Wichita State.

South Dakota State will upset Ohio State in the first round

I'm going to take South Dakota State over Ohio State.

Jordy Nelson is Bill Belichick's wet dream

I'm more interested about Jordy Nelson because if he's still capable of playing how he played two years ago before he got injured, he is Bill Belichick's wet dream. Belichick is going to send in a SWAT team to just kidnap him.

The Warriors' greatness allows them to openly disrespect the rest of the league

I love any team that reaches that level of greatness where they can blatantly just spit in your face and say, you're not going to beat us... We get drunk. We can skip games. We skip practices. This is all just a formality for us because when it comes to the playoffs, we're going to kick your ass.

Pooping with the door open is an alpha move

I love pooping with the door open. That's a real man thing. Because you have a master of your domain kind of thing. I'm watching over everything while I take a shit.