Takes

I will shave my head if the Celtics win a championship

I will shave my head if the Celtics win a championship. stop it. Like, oh, that was the perm bet you knew in the back of your head... No, I give you my word that I will shave my head if the Sellies win a championship.

Jayson Tatum was 'terrified' to shoot in Game 2

Jayson Tatum just needs to play horrible. That's all I care about. The biggest He sucks. You guys were sucking his dick. He sucked tonight. I mean, he didn't suck. He's terrified. He was terrified to shoot the ball tonight. He's shooting his spin back. It is weird. He had open looks at the rim and then he would just pass out every time.

Bryson DeChambeau will win the U.S. Open as an homage to Payne Stewart

I think this is it for Bryson [DeChambeau]. If Bryson comes and wears, because remember he used to wear the scaly cap. Payne Stewart. I could see it happening. As a homage to Payne Stewart. I'll call my shot right now.

An NFL broadcaster could call an NBA game more easily than vice versa

I think an NFL broadcaster could broadcast an NBA game with more understanding and clarity than vice versa. Because it's too—offenses are too complicated. Defense is too complicated. The NFL, you know, 'cause you got, 'cause remember like in football, every play is an individual story... I just think there's more need and space to fill in more like football lingo and talk that than there is maybe in a ever, you know, a constant flowing basketball game that you could kind of fake it a little bit more.

Sasha Barkov is the best 200-foot center in the world

Sasha Barkov easily in the world right now, probably the new Anze Kopitar as the best 200 foot center... he back checks like a maniac. He's the most reliable center ice position player I believe on the planet. Even more so than McDavid from a defensive standpoint.

Dak Prescott is the 17th or 18th best QB in the NFL, behind Kirk Cousins

Dak right behind Kirk Cousins... 16 should be Kirk [Cousins]. Yep. Right exactly in the middle. [Then Dak Prescott is 17 or 18].

Ippei Mizuhara is the greatest Fall Guy Hall of Famer of all time

Ippei is came out and he's guilty or he's admitted guilt... If he is a fall guy, I think he is the best fall guy of all time. Ever. Fall Guy Hall of Fame.

Kyrie Irving is one of the most skilled yet disappointing players in NBA history

When people start coming at you with like, he's the most talented player of all time, it's like, okay, so then you're admitting that he's one of the most disappointing players ever... for multiple seasons that the guy looked like he didn't really even care about playing basketball anymore.

Joel Embiid is a top-three NBA player and his stats prove it

33, 11 and six in the playoffs this year. Better than fucking Tatum's averages in the playoffs... his [PER] was on track to be like the greatest single PER of anyone.

Connor McDavid still sucks because he hasn't won the big one

Not that he [McDavid] needs it again. He, he still hasn't won the big one, so we're gonna wait on that... Right now. He still sucks. In a way I'm kind of hoping that he loses so we can really focus this take on him. Like, losing in the Stanley Cup finals would be the ultimate point on that crown of cannot win the big one.

WNBA players are 100% jealous of Caitlin Clark and they should just admit it

The people who are jealous of Caitlin Clark and when they take cheap shots at her... they are jealous. They're jealous of Caitlin Clark. They 100% are, it's okay to admit it. They're going again. They're going to be footnotes in Caitlin Clark's career. When it's all said and done, they're going to be the Lance Stephenson blowing in LeBron's ear.

There is no way on earth Lenny Kravitz hasn't had sex in nine years

Lenny Kravitz said that he hasn't had sex in nine years. Yeah, he hasn't fucked in nine years. That must be really, that's impossible. Difficult for Lenny Kravitz to do that. That's insane. ... Lenny Kravitz is so hot that there's no one on earth that can make him come.

The Mavericks will win because Kyrie Irving and Luka Dončić are better closers than the Celtics' stars

I think that this is gonna be a very close series. It's going to come down to very tight games at the end. And one team has two guys that have proven to be excellent closers against very good teams in this playoffs. And the Celtics have looked a little Iffy.

I want the Rangers to win Game 6 and then lose Game 7 in historic, embarrassing fashion

I would like the Rangers to win game six. And then lose in historic fashion [in game 7].

Major League Baseball is only integrating Negro League stats to make themselves look like the good guy

The weird part to me is MLB segregated the black players. Told them they cannot play in the M lb. Yes. Created, like, made them create their own leagues because like you cannot play. We're keeping you out. And now 80 years later, they're basically inheriting their statistics and putting them on the MLB website and almost erasing it. Like the Negro Leagues being like Oh. yeah. It's all part of MLB. ... It feels like they're just kind of patting the Negro Leagues on the head being like, these are ours now.

Luka Doncic and Kyrie Irving are the best offensive backcourt of all time

Kyrie and Luka, the best offensive backcourt of all time. And people laughed at [Kenny the Jet Smith] and then they played three games and they're like, maybe he's not that far off.

The WNBA fans and media are ruining the fun of sports with cultural think pieces

Caitlin Clark is adding so many new fans and there's a lot of fans that are just taking the fun out of sports. Everything that happens in the WNBA now has to be a fucking bigger cultural talking point. It's like, hey, it's fucking sports. Shut the fuck up... there's seven think pieces after every game she plays.

Draymond Green is 'going out sad' and only complaining because his career is ending

I think Draymond Green knows it's over and he's going out really sad, just complaining. He's made $177 million... for him to say that the fines are the big problem... I think there might be a small part of him when he goes to bed at night, he's like, did I call Steph like a couple rings? And it's over. He's grasping at whatever he can to try to keep it going.

The 1986 Celtics are the greatest team of all time, better than the 1996 Bulls

No, no, no. Not up there. It's above [the 1996 Bulls]... Best team of all time. In my unbiased team... we were 50 and 1 [at home]. That's insane... we just assumed [playing the Lakers in the Finals] was gonna happen. We weren't gonna lose either way.

It would be very funny if the Indiana Fever don't win a single game this year

It would be kind of funny if [the Fever] don't win a game. I mean, I'm rooting for that.

No single player will ever win six NBA championships as the main guy again

I personally, I don't think it's even possible for someone to win six rings anymore. Like maybe as like the extra guy who goes tops from team to team or something. But as like the main guy, I just don't think that's available anymore. . . the competition is so much thicker from team to team and game to game.

Caleb Williams lost all his swag the minute he put on a Bears uniform

The minute Caleb Williams put on the Bears uniform and they had him running around as a quarterback, he lost all his swag. He's gotta figure out how to overcome the Bears quarterback uniform. People were tweeting about it like 'this guy's got no swag anymore.' I kind of agree.

Jason Tatum is better than Luka Doncic due to his playoff experience

I would, I'd say Tatum is better than Luca... More experience. He's played longer... they've more playoff games. I mean it's close. It's close. It's, its a, it's, it's a one a one B situation. Luca's very good. But, so I'd ride and die with Austin Cel.

Connor McDavid is the most talented player to ever play hockey

I will say this guy's the best player that maybe we've ever seen play the game skill wise. Stuff that he can do out there... there's no one even close that can do the things at top speed that he does night in and night out.

NHL players want the 'physicality and shots' in the game's gray areas

The best part about that series was watching Sam Bennett and Brad Marchand shake hands. I mean it's, it's an f you to all those fans out there that try to take that component out of the game... you're telling me that I've never been cheap shotted before... I love them for it. That's a part of the game. Some days you're the dog, some days you're the hydrant.

Connor McDavid 'can't win the big one' until he proves otherwise

Has Conor McDavid [won a title]? I think we won. No, he has not. Okay. Alright. So there, the discussion... we have to, as our job say, he can't win the big one... He won the big one and now he's the guy that can win the big one.

Stephen A. Smith could score five buckets on LeBron James in a one-on-one game to 100

I'm going to say that Stephen A. I think Stephen A. could score five buckets on [LeBron]... Because I think that LeBron would, he'd just, he'd get tired. There's no load management in the game to 100 one-on-one.

LeBron James is going to return to the Cleveland Cavaliers

So LeBron is gonna go back to the Cavs... LeBron has a podcast with JJ Redick. LeBron wants to make the podcast even bigger. LeBron gets JJ Redick hired by the Lakers... I am gonna go to Cleveland and I'll get a different coach. So LeBron is actually trying to get two coaches hired right now.

Secretariat was likely racing on anabolic steroids

I think a pretty strong possibility that Secretariat was racing on anabolic steroids. But here's the deal. So were the other horses he was running against. It doesn't really taint his legacy in any way to me because he was an incredibly dominant race horse at a time when pretty much all the horses were running on that stuff.

Bronny James would not be drafted or at the combine if his name wasn't Bronny James

I do agree with you because it's just a simple question. Would Bronny James be at the combine and be drafted if his name wasn't Bronny James? The answer's no.

Rory McIlroy will get a performance boost from his recent divorce filing

Rory McElroy divorce bump. ... Rory's just gonna go to Cleveland. He, he's either trying to go to Cleveland or it was smart. What? You said you might be trying to go to Boston. ... Girls are looking at him, I'm gonna be, I'm a champion baby.

The NHL is rigging the playoffs for a Panthers-Rangers Eastern Conference Final

I something's fishy with the NHL and and this Panthers team... They didn't suspend [Bennett], which is crazy... I don't understand why... The NHL is trying to rig a Panthers, Rangers Eastern Conference Finals. They much rather have that than Bruins-Rangers.

Flightline is the GOAT horse over Secretariat

I think we should as a podcast, we should say Flightline is our goat. Flightline was a horse that won the Breeders Cup two years ago... He raced six times and he just killed everyone... Casual fans will say Secretariat... Flightline, he was an incredible horse.

The Celtics will win Game 3 by exactly 33 points

Prediction for Saturday night: Win by 33. I guess a little, you know, you got an extra one. 101 [total series point differential].

The Timberwolves have the Denver Nuggets 'crying like babies'

I said the T-Wolves got them crying like babies. The Denver Nuggets are doing all that damn crying. What the babies gonna do if you gonna do all that damn crying? They had Michael Malone whining to the referees. They had Jamal Murray crying to the referees. They had them uncomfortable.

The Timberwolves will win the NBA championship and Anthony Edwards will be Finals MVP

I got the Celtics coming out of the East. I got the Minnesota Timberwolves coming out of the West and I got Anthony Edwards Finals MVP, Minnesota taking it all.

Zero NFL players could make an NBA roster tomorrow, while one or two NBA players could make the NFL

There's no way 30 guys from the NBA could make a roster in the NFL tomorrow. I think maybe one or two could make a roster... but there's zero guys on NFL roster right now who could play on an NBA roster. The height, the skill level with dribbling and shooting is on a completely different level.

The current Minnesota Timberwolves are the NBA version of the 2000 Baltimore Ravens

This is the 2000 Ravens through these first six [games]... they're maniacal. They're grinning ear to ear as they're playing defense. Minnesota is emerging as the favorite to win this tournament by being the best defense we've seen in years.

Watching Caleb Williams throw a football is like watching Steph Curry play basketball

Albert Breer just put out an entire piece about Caleb Williams... checked all the boxes. Called him a Steph Curry-like experience watching him throw the football. It means Steph Curry's awesome to watch play basketball, so it's like that in football.

The Michael Jordan comparisons for Anthony Edwards are not forced or crazy

He's an absolute killer. And people are throwing around the [Michael Jordan] comparison and like, it's not, it doesn't feel forced. It's not crazy.

The Celtics vs. Cavaliers series will be a triple-digit point differential bloodbath

They'll probably maybe win one game and have like a historic shooting there... but there should be a four-one or four-oh series. [Point differential] is gonna be like in triple digits. Bloodbath.

The 2024 Stanley Cup Final will be Edmonton vs. Florida

So I think that it will be Edmonton, Florida. That would be my guess.

The Eastern Conference is a cakewalk for the Celtics

Yeah. No, the East is a cakewalk... They should lose one, maybe two games. The over under should be three. Maybe one series next, next game.

The Bucks' 2021 championship was a fluke

Some people could argue that the Bucks Championship was a fluke because it was off the bubble and all the teams that had to play a long season deep into the next year got bounced and the Nets got injured and beating Chris Paul isn't that impressive.

The Florida Panthers will win the Stanley Cup

I got Florida and Colorado [in the finals]... I think it's the Panthers year. I just, they, they're a fun team to watch they, they play so hard. Their big guys are playing great.

Nikola Jokic is already a top 15 player of all time.

Nikola Jokic to me is already a top 15 player of all time. And I know that that's maybe a hot take. I don't really care.

Joel Embiid is having a better series than Jalen Brunson

Joel Embiid is scoring 35 points a game. 45% from the field and a plus 34 when he's on the court... Jalen Brunson is scoring 33 points a game 40% from the field and is a minus three when he's on the court. And the difference that people are talking about Jalen Brunson and Joel Embiid is absolutely insane.

The Phoenix Suns' 'all-in' move is an all-time disaster

This has maybe been one of the greatest, like rich guy buys a team who thinks he's the smartest guy in the world... does a bunch of all-in moves and it blows up in record time. They have zero first round picks from 2025 to 2030. They have zero second round picks... They have one pick in the NBA draft between now and 2031. That's insane.

Michael Penix Jr. to the Falcons is a baffling move that makes zero sense

The Atlanta Falcons who, if you remember, signed Kirk Cousins to $180 million deal what like a month and a half ago, selected Michael Penix Jr. with the eighth pick... It makes zero sense to do it. Now if he's a great quarterback, cool. I hope it pans out. But like when he, is he gonna start? Is he gonna sit for two years? Why you such a high pick for this? It, it just, you could've probably gotten him in the second round.

Joel Embiid is one of the dirtiest players in the NBA

Joel Embiid was incredible. He also was maybe the dirtiest player I've ever seen on a basketball court. ... Joel Embiid basically did Draymond Green's career highlights in one game. The play on Mitchell Robinson, when he tried to grab him by the legs, that was, that should have been an ejection. And then he kicked Mitchell Robinson in the nuts. He kicked, he kneed Isaiah Hartenstein in the, in the nuts.