Takes

Hating Duke will never fall out of style

Duke needs to be hateable forever. Who is the Athletic? This is bullshit. Don't who wrote this? You want them to be forever. It will never not be cool. It's always been cool.

Paul Skenes is broken after the World Baseball Classic

Paul Skenes is broken... World Baseball Classic hot seat broke him.

I am going to shock the world at the Masters this year

Against all odds I am [playing the Masters]... I think this is the year I do too. Shock the World. I think this is the year. Zero expectation.

Golf carts should replace cars as the primary mode of transportation for non-highway use

What is your thoughts on maybe moving away from cars and really locking in on the golf cart as transportation A to B and only using cars highway use only. So like neighborhoods outside of that. We're just using golf carts on an everyday basis for travel.

Tiger Woods is just a regular guy and people should let him enjoy golf instead of constantly asking if he'll play

I try to tell everybody, man, like Tiger's just like a guy. And I honestly do feel bad for him a lot of the times when we do these interviews because he hasn't played golf in a while. And every question's just like, so are you gonna like golf for us next year or next week at the Masters? And it's like, can you just let him live? He's won a shit ton of golf tournaments. I'd just like for him to enjoy playing golf.

The Giants are building an offense that has never been seen before in NFL history

We're building an offense out that has never been seen in the history of the National Football League. I mean, like literally because we're building the New York Giants offense, you know, with our terms and our schemes and for our players.

The Seahawks had by far the best special teams in the league last year and Jay Harbaugh was the difference

I think they were by far the best special teams in the league last year. And Jay did a great job, great job coaching those guys. You can argue they were the difference in a lot of ways on that team last year.

I am going to do a 72-hour fast to reset my system

I'm thinking about doing a 72 hour fast... People help me out. Let me know if I can do a 72 hour fast... I wanna test myself. Can I stop my addiction to food for 48 hours? Probably not.

I'm glad I missed Peyton Manning's birthday because he has enough people sucking his dick

I'm glad I missed Peyton Manning's birthday by the way. Fuck, fuck that guy. He's got enough people to suck his dick and wish him a happy birthday. Awful announcing quote that. I hope I do it again next year.

UNC is one of the true blue blood jobs in college basketball

This is a job that doesn't come open very often. And it is a true blue blood job... It is the logo of a team that's won a ton of national titles and a ton of Final Fours. It is literally one of the blue bloods.

Nate Oats would not be a great fit at UNC

I don't think he'd be a great fit there. Would people be talking about Nate Oats as much for this job if he didn't wear those jackets? They feel like Carolina jackets. It feels like he's been accepting people into anticipating him being the next UNC coach for a while.

I've fallen hard and fast for Ben McCollum - he's a rock star coach

I've fallen hard and fast for Ben McCollum. He just wins everywhere. Ben McCollum always talking about toughness. I've fallen hard. I've read a lot of Ben McCollum this last week after beating Florida. This guy fucking rocks.

James Wood will be a monster this season and hit 35 plus home runs

The only thing I have to look forward to this season is James Wood just being a fucking monster and getting 35 plus home runs. That's the only thing that I'm going to this season looking forward to as a Nats fan.

The Mets will make the NLCS this season

I think they're gonna be really good. NLCS. Okay. NLCS. But fired up, ton of new pieces.

The Phillies will regress to a wild card team and lose in the first round

I think Phillies are regressing. They'll still make the playoffs as a wild card team. They'll sneak in and then lose in the first round.

The Cubs are the second best team in the NL and will reach the NLCS

I think the Cubs are gonna be really fucking good. I think they're the second best team in the NL so I guess my expectations might be a little too high, but I think they're gonna be really, really good. I think they should definitely win the NL Central and be in the NLCS.

Jupiter GC Lynx will never win a TGL championship

I actually say right now, Jupiter's never gonna win one. Unlike Saturn, no rings. It is crazy that we got Tiger Woods and we can't win.

Tom Brady never processed 9/11 because he was such a psycho about football

He just had delayed onset grief. Anything that happened during his playing career, he never processed any of it outside of football. Tom Brady probably never processed 9/11. He was such a psycho, all he cared about was football. He probably found out about it like two years ago.

Puka Nacua's lawyer is the worst in America for admitting the bite occurred

Puka has hired an attorney who dismissed the conduct as horseplay, but admitted that the bite occurred. It left a temporary mark. So this is not a good lawyer. My problem is, is Puka Nacua has hired the worst lawyer in America to defend him against the biting allegations. Your lawyer should never step in front of a camera and say, 'yes, he did the shit.'

Being the designated TV remote guy at a bar is a 10 out of 10 job

Had dinner at a local establishment last night and was informed that someone on staff was the designated TV remote guy to switch between games. No bartending, no waiting tables, just ball. 10 out of 10 job. You don't do this job without immense pride. It's the best job ever.

Darius Acuff Jr. is currently the best player in the NCAA tournament

To me, the best player in this tournament right now is Darius Acuff Jr. He is ridiculously gifted and just a total stud and his ability to change a game, it's special. He reminds me of [Kemba Walker] with the level he plays.

Houston will win the national championship on their redemption tour

If I had to pick right now a team to win the national championship, it's Houston Redemption tour. I think it could be Houston-Michigan in the final.

Michigan will beat Alabama in the Sweet 16 because Alabama can't defend the interior

I'm gonna go with Dr. Dave Portnoy on this one because Michigan's length - Alabama doesn't turn people over, and Michigan should be able to get to the rim at will against Alabama. Alabama's interior defense is not there. That spells trouble for the Crimson Tide. I think that thing gets put away later this week and I think Dave Portnoy and the Wolverines move on.

My coaching style isn't old school, it's the right school

When you say old school, it really does hit a sore spot with me... it's not old school. It's right school. I don't want to do anything old school. I want to do it the right way and the right way's been done for not 20 years, not 40 years, 100 years. You know, you hold people accountable. You play for the name on the front, not the back.

Great players want to be coached and pushed because they want to be the best

What I don't think people realize, and Magic [Johnson] said this to me once: great players want to be coached and pushed because great players want to be the best players. So they do. You know, it just sometimes in the high school level now, nobody does that because kids will leave.

Illinois is going to the Final Four

I think Illinois wins. I think Illinois is going to the Final Four.

Houston will beat Illinois by 18 points in the Sweet 16

I think Houston and I think they do it decisively. 18. [Blowout?]. 18.

Kevin Willard's joke about firing his staff was funny and shouldn't have been taken seriously

It was such a clear joke and people, I couldn't believe... There were people who actually thought he was being serious. I thought it was a funny joke. And then we had the people trying to cover for themselves being like, well, even if it was a joke, that's not a joke you make. Imagine if you're an assistant and you hear your boss say that.

The lack of Cinderellas in the tournament isn't due to NIL but because big teams are more efficient and physical

Todd Golden had a very good point... part of the reason why there's less upsets is teams are just getting way more efficient in scoring at the rim and becoming almost like raising their floor and becoming upset proof in the fact that you get really big dudes... and absolutely hammer the boards. And when you do that against smaller schools, you're not gonna like, how do big schools lose the small schools is like three point variance.

The Sweet 16 in Houston won't be a home game for the Cougars because Iowa and Nebraska fans travel too well

Illinois, Nebraska and Iowa have some pretty big fan bases that are all gonna wanna travel, especially Nebraska... I don't think it's gonna be like they're gonna take over the place, but I don't think it's gonna be 80% Houston at this game.

Tom Izzo is underrated because modern ring culture ignores how hard it is to consistently reach the Sweet 16

I know we're very ring culture oriented and he's only won one. This tournament is so fucking hard. Every single year they have at least a chance. It's crazy. Like they just go to Sweet Sixteens and then the tournament kind of starts for Izzo... 17 of them is insane. Tom Izzo is somehow underrated I think because the whole entire world has changed.

John Calipari has officially won the breakup with Kentucky

Do we think that there has ever been a bigger 'won the breakup' more than Cal in Kentucky right now? ... Cal is living the best life. He has gone to back-to-back Sweet Sixteens and Kentucky is in a complete crisis with Mark Pope. It couldn't have gone worse in the first two years for this breakup.

Kentucky will win a national championship before Arkansas does

Kentucky will win a national championship before Arkansas. Still, still a lot of time to go.

I would take Darius Acuff as a top five pick in the NBA Draft

I would take him top five personally. If you watch him play basketball and you don't think that he can't just own a franchise, be like, 'Hey, here you go, it's your franchise, you're gonna have fun.' He's that good.

Nate Oats needs to teach his players to never let the police look through their phones

Let the Aden Holloway situation be a reminder to everybody that you don't have to let the police look through your phone. I actually point the finger at Nate Oats for this, because Nate Oats, you gotta do a better job of explaining the first through fifth amendments to your players. Given the history that you've had... day one you should have a, get the guys from Morgan & Morgan to come in and be like, 'Do not talk to the police if you're in trouble. Shut the fuck up.'

The Big 10 will finally win a national title in basketball this year

I'm proud that Purdue's a Big 10 team... because I just, I'm, I've just switched to, this has gotta be the year that the Big 10 wins the national title. I've gone through all the emotions of coping and now I'm just like, hey, good job, Purdue. Just go, go finish it.

Mark Pope is on the hot seat at Kentucky after this tournament performance

Mark Pope on the hot seat. I think he is. I mean, I think they're gonna bring him back. I think he's safe for this year, but I think he's going into next year. Seat is warm.

Every major college coaching opening should start by calling Brad Stevens and making him say no

You gotta make him say no. You gotta call Brad Stevens and make him say no. I will personally never stop saying that. He probably wakes up every morning and says no. Voicemail just says, 'Thank you so much for the consideration, but it's gonna be a no.' It would be shocking if he ever took another college job.

Michigan set records for most efficient offense in tournament history through their first two games

Michigan set records for like the most efficient offense in the history of the tournament through two games.

Fouling when up by two points late in a game is a terrible strategy

Todd Golden said in the press conference they were trying to foul up two... That's insane. Foul up two's crazy. You know how crazy he is? Steven Che thinks it's a good idea. Fouling up two does not make any sense... Play defense! How about that? The, that my groundbreaking end of game scenario that I would coach in that situation would be: play defense.

The Michigan State starting five might be 'out' on big naturals because they don't follow Sydney Sweeney

None of the starting five players from Michigan State follow Sydney Sweeney on Instagram. Michigan State Spartans may be out on heavies. Starting five guys are just maybe out on big naturals.

Tom Brady could still throw for 4,000 yards and 30 touchdowns in the NFL right now

Tom Brady... It's football. They had the flag football event this past weekend. Tom Brady played in it. I mean, he could go out next year in the league and probably get 4,000 yards, 30 touchdowns.

If NFL players practiced for two weeks, they would easily beat the best professional flag football team

I think that if you gave the pros like a solid two weeks of practice with coaches that coach flag football, I think the pros could be better. Yeah. But it would take like... there are differences in the game. But yeah, if you gave them two weeks, they'd win.

Nikola Jokic has nearly as many triple-doubles as Joel Embiid has total games played since Embiid won the MVP

Jokic, since Joel Embiid won the MVP, has 87 triple doubles. Joel Embiid has played in 91 games. So Jokic has almost as many triple doubles as games that Embiid has played in since he won the MVP.

NFL players should not be confident in their union representation with JC Tretter as NFLPA head

He's a moron. So it looks like Roger Goodell now has his doofus set up as they go into the next CBA. If I was an NFL player, I would not be too confident about my representation right now.

Wisconsin women's ice hockey winning 5 out of 7 national titles is a dynasty

Women's ice hockey because the Wisconsin Badgers won another national title, five in seven years. Dynasty. Five and seven years is crazy. That's a dynasty.

The Lakers will lose 4-1 in the first round of the playoffs regardless of their current hot streak

What's gonna happen is they're like, they're good, but the other two teams above them are better and have been better all year and younger. Right? But again, what's gonna happen is they're like, 'They're good, but the other two teams above them are better.' ... When everyone tries to tell us the Lakers are gonna win the title, I'll just be like, 'Okay, cool.' They'll lose 4 to 1.

I Show Speed is more famous than Tom Brady

Our conversation back here was Brady or Speed. I would probably go Speed. Brady's a big name though, he got a lot of rings, but I'd go Speed. I might take it back and go top one [most famous person at the field].

High Point is a very, very good basketball team

I actually think that High Point is a very, very good team. It was no fluke. They're a very good team.

I am done believing in Wisconsin basketball because they always rip my guts out in the tournament

I think the only lesson I've learned is like, I need to just stop believing. Because this has also become a thing where the Badgers haven't been to the Sweet 16 in like nine years... every year that we keep going is another year that I'm just reminded how close I was in 2015. I will never get back there. It just won't happen like every other team.