Takes

Michigan State will be a good bet in the tournament because there are no expectations on them

I think I am going to bet on Michigan State this year. I think something about Izzo. January, February, Izzo, April, we sleep in May. There's no expectations on Michigan State this year, except maybe to win that first game.

Wisconsin will lose to North Carolina in the first round

Wisconsin is not going to beat UNC. It's the lowest I've ever felt about a Badger team going into the tournament. I can't even be hurt.

UC Santa Barbara will upset Creighton in the first round

I've got Santa Barbara over Creighton in the 12-5. [They have] an American Athletic Conference caliber roster at Santa Barbara. They've got high major transfers... I've got Santa Barbara over Creighton in the 12-5. That's spicy.

Texas will make the Final Four behind a breakout performance from Jericho Sims

I am going to go with Shaka Smart 10 years after VCU gets to the Final Four, taking Texas to the Final Four. The guy that's blossomed the last week has been Jericho Sims of Texas... If Jericho Sims can play three quarters as well as he did during the Big 12 tournament, Texas has an outstanding chance to go to a Final Four.

Illinois will beat Gonzaga to win the National Championship

Illinois... They're the team I'm going to pick to win a national championship. I have Illinois beating Baylor and then beating Gonzaga. Gonzaga will get to 31-0 and then fall to Illinois.

Syracuse has a 50-50 shot to make the NCAA tournament, but they will ultimately get in

I think it depends on how the bubble teams around them do... but gut says yes [they get in].

Russell Wilson is going to be a Chicago Bear

Russell Wilson is going to be a Chicago Bear, Big Cat... I think that if we're looking at the teams that Russell Wilson would hypothetically want to be traded to... the Bears are far and away the most likely destination... If I were to put money on it, I would say yes, he will be a Bear.

If Russell Wilson joins the Bears, he will immediately stop caring about football to become a global celebrity

Almost instantly, he's going to put out like a double album with Ciara. And like he's going to all he's going to care about is being a celebrity and not football. And he's going to instantly just lose all his football powers. I guarantee you that's what's going to happen.

Drew Brees will not retire and will try to come back for another season

I think he's going to try to come back. I really do... I think he got a little bit healthier in the offseason. And he's like, 'You know what? I could still throw 75% completion percentage five yards down the field.'

The Toronto Maple Leafs will win the Stanley Cup this year

I truly believe with the pickups that they made and adding Joe Thornton's experience to maybe calm the young guys down... yes, I think that they're going to win the Stanley Cup.

The Arizona Coyotes will secure the 4th playoff spot in the West Division

I think the Yotes are going to get that fourth spot in the West. So, you know, who knows? Maybe they can knock off the big boys.

The Bulls are one year away from being title contenders

Obviously, I wanted [Blake Griffin] to go to the Bulls, but I think the Bulls are probably a year away from being title contenders. Yeah, one year. One year away from being title contenders. And I still have actually enjoyed watching this Bulls team, and I have high hopes for them to make the playoffs.

Blake Griffin will dunk for the first time since 2019 this year

I'm really hoping that Blake goes there and then he can just immediately play like old Blake again. Change of scenery will be good for him. He's going to dunk for the first time since 2019. Mark my words. 2021 is the year of Blake Griffin dunking again.

If Gonzaga doesn't join the Pac-12 in five years, they are on a fraud countdown

I'm setting the law down right now. If Gonzaga does not go to the Pac-12, actually, within the next five years, they're on a fraud countdown. Anything longer than that, and you're doing it for your Mickey Mouse game?

Mac Jones has the most promise of any quarterback in the 2021 draft class.

I think Mac Jones actually has the biggest promise out of all of them because he's not going to go to one of the top draft pick teams... He's going to go to a team that has a pretty good established team but needs a quarterback.

Gonzaga will probably win the NCAA tournament

And again, I think Gonzaga is, Gonzaga probably will win the tournament. They probably are going to win the tournament, whatever.

The NFL will eventually expand to an 18-game schedule

My hot seat is the 16-game schedule for the NFL because it looks like we're going to 17. And my cool throw will be the 18-game schedule because as soon as we go to 17, we're going to go to 18. It's the greatest, like, sleight of hand that the NFL is doing here.

There's an outside chance Russell Wilson gets traded to the Bears

As we speak, I think there's an outside chance that Russell Wilson could go there [Chicago]. That would be a huge pickup... That would change the dynamics big time.

The NBA Top Shot market is a bubble and investors will lose money

This bubble's going to be painful for some people. That could be one day. The Top Shot bubble... I'm leery on Top Shot... Let's not pretend that this is going to be your retirement account.

Duke will make the 2021 NCAA tournament

So Duke, they're going to make the tournament. I just know they will. Of course.

I'm going to corner the market on Lou Dort Top Shots and get rich when he wins MVP

My entire investment strategy is to corner the market on Lou Dort. Okay. So I'm putting everyone in the Dortcher chamber. We're going to buy all the Lou Dort, and then when Lou Dort wins MVP, everyone's going to be like, where are all the Lou Dort top shots?

If Jeff Bezos bids $7 billion for the Washington Football Team, the other NFL owners will force Dan Snyder out

If Jeff Bezos, who is the richest man in the world, wants to pay like six, seven billion dollars for an NFL franchise, if Dan Snyder doesn't want to sell still at that point, you're going to see all the owners... try their very best to push Dan Snyder out because that will make all of their franchises increase by like another billion dollars.

I can win the Masters this year

I think I have a better chance than I did last year... I think we're climbing. We're definitely trending... I can win the Masters. It's definitely possible. I'm going to try super hard.

The Chicago Blackhawks have no chance of making the playoffs

I said, it's great to watch, but there's no chance they're making the playoffs. No chance. I just don't see it happening there's like the depth isn't there... maybe if Taze comes back but who knows.

No college basketball team will ever win back-to-back national championships again

Back-to-back championships. They'll never be done again.

The Toronto Maple Leafs are legitimate Stanley Cup contenders and I am rooting for them

The Maple Leafs have been pathetic. 53 years? But now they have a team that is like legitimately built to win a Stanley Cup, I think... I've actually come out and said that I'm rooting for the Toronto Maple Leafs to win the cup this year. That's my team this year.

Carson Wentz can find his old self with Frank Reich in Indianapolis

The reclamation of Carson Wentz, like Frank Reich was where he had his success earlier in his career. I do think that he can—I'm not throwing him out. I'm not saying that he can't find old Carson Wentz. And the best place for him to do that is the Indianapolis Colts.

The Eagles will likely draft Jamar Chase and Wentz will be furious

What's also going to be funny is the Eagles, if they don't draft a quarterback in the first round, they're probably going to take a wide receiver. They're probably going to take Jamar Chase. And Carson Wentz is going to be like, what the fuck? When I was there, the best guy that we got was Ortega Whiteside.

Fernando Tatis Jr. will be a Yankee in four or five years if the Padres don't win a title

Well, I mean, the Padres, they obviously were an electric team in the shortened season last year. Slam Diego? Yeah, Slam Diego. So if they don't win a title in what? The first four or five? Then he's a Yankee.

Kyle Trask is Kirk Cousins with Tom Brady upside

I'm working on Kyle Trask right now... I'm thinking Kirk Cousins... That's a mid-level. Tom Brady upside.

Marcus Mariota would be a perfect trade target for the Pittsburgh Steelers

I feel like Marcus Mariota is the guy that nobody's talking about out there... Here's what I would do, though, if I were the Pittsburgh Steelers. I would trade for Marcus Mariota to sit behind Ben for one year.

JJ Watt will spend hundreds of thousands of dollars on thank-you ads for Houston

I think that there's probably at least like $300,000 or $400,000 that [JJ Watt] has earmarked right now to take out full-page thank you ads to the entire city of Houston. He's probably going to be buying billboards all over Texas, thanking them for his time there.

Ryan Pace and the Bears will offer JJ Watt the most money on the market

Ryan Pace is going to offer him somewhere between $150 and $200 million... [Watt's] never going to be that JJ Watt anymore. So that's the perfect time for Ryan Pace to be like, yo, I'm going to give you $50 million just so I can tell people that we have Khalil Mack and JJ Watt on the same line.

The Pittsburgh Steelers are the most likely destination for JJ Watt

The list for me starts and ends with the Pittsburgh Steelers just because I know JJ Watt, and he's going to want to go play with his brothers and have them rub that in our faces... That is the quintessential JJ Watt destination.

If Urban Meyer doesn't draft Trevor Lawrence at #1, someone will trade to #2 and take him immediately

If Urban Meyer does not draft Trevor Lawrence, then someone's going to trade up to number two, and then they'll take him there.

Loyola Chicago is in great shape to make the NCAA tournament

They're in great shape to make the tournament... If they make the tournament, everyone's going to talk about [Sister Jean].

I am growing my long hair back

First off, the hair is coming back... But I needed to cut it. It was getting long, and we were kind of in a losing skid, and I felt like changing it up could have helped me. And it did... It'll come back.

Urban Meyer will be successful in the NFL because he only cares about winning.

I now am fully changing my take on Urban Meyer. I think he's going to be very successful in Jacksonville because Urban Meyer hiring Chris Doyle and being like, 'fuck you world.' It clearly is Urban's show. He hired a dude who was fired like six months ago for very racist things in Iowa... that to me says that Urban is going to just... win football. This hire right here tells me that he has carte blanche with who he wants to hire, who he wants to bring in to just win football.

Urban Meyer’s 'college warlord' style will fail with NFL millionaires.

The person that he's bringing in [Chris Doyle], it might've been effective when talking to student athletes in college. When you're talking to millionaires in the NFL, it might not fly the same way... I can also see like a first-time NFL coach that's a big shot used to not having anybody check him ever... coming to the NFL and realizing pretty quickly, 'wow, I can't tell everybody how to do everything all the time.'

I will fight Darren Rovell anytime, anywhere for zero dollars.

My Fyre Fest is that Darren Rovell doesn't look like he's going to fight me anymore... I told Barstool, I said, 'I will do it for zero dollars.' And I removed all stipulations. Anytime, anywhere, I will fight Darren Rovell. Anytime, anywhere. He just loves being talked about... The only thing I will say is anytime, anywhere, if he wants to fight me, I will show up and I will kick his ass and I will do it with a smile on my face.

Getting COVID is karma that ensures March Madness will happen this year

If you remember, around this time last year... I said that if they don't play March Madness, I will inject myself with coronavirus. Well, they didn't play March Madness, and I didn't inject myself with coronavirus. So I think that getting it is finally karma, and on top of that, it means that we officially will have a March Madness tournament this year.

Darren Rovell is only challenging PFT to a fight for the engagement and would weasel out of a real match

My first thought when I saw him say he would fight for $2 million is that Darren Rovell would get in the ring and literally sprint around for three minutes straight... And then as everyone called him a coward, he'd be like, whatever... I'm $2 million richer. Ha, ha, ha, ha.

I would not bet the under on Tom Brady winning more than 7.5 career Super Bowls

He's now three years, two years later, and he just won another one. And he could do it again, and he's still going to come back. And I wouldn't bet on it. If you put a line out there right now, Tom Brady over seven and a half Super Bowls in his career, I wouldn't bet the under.

Antonio Brown will be arrested this summer

Antonio Brown is going to get arrested so hard this summer. It's going to be like the summer of Lindsay Lohan for him. Unbelievable. Let's get the narrative, the redemption narrative, going ahead of time for Antonio Brown.

Patrick Mahomes will have surgery on his foot

I think [Mahomes] is probably going to have surgery on that foot. ... The turf toe reared its ugly head a little bit. I'm serious. He was not able to scramble as effectively. He looked slower. He looked hobbled. He didn't step into that many throws.

The San Francisco 49ers are a great value bet to win the next Super Bowl

I'll tell you what my pick is. San Francisco 49ers 14-1. ... I'm just looking for a team with a good coach, good defense. There's tons of injuries. [They] should be interesting.

I am going to buy an albino cobra

Bro, I went down to Florida, and I'm about to buy an albino cobra. ... Dude, they can ship it. ... [I'm] not going to bring COVID back [to the office].

I will spend my Rough N' Rowdy winnings on Dogecoin

So, Billy, what are you going to spend the winnings on? ... Dogecoin.

I'm betting the over on a half-interception for Tom Brady in the Super Bowl

Tom Brady over a half of an interception. So he's got to throw one. I think he's going to throw – I think Tom Brady's going to play well, but I also think he's going to take his shots.

Tails never fails on the Super Bowl coin toss

I usually go with tails never fails. ... It's tails. I'm betting tails. There you go. Tails never fails.