Takes

I am already talking myself into 10 wins for almost every NFL team

The social media from the first weekend of the NFL being back is awesome because every team you think that you're gonna be like 10 wins. I can talk myself into 10 wins for any team except for maybe, maybe not the Panthers.

Steve Kerr is a piece of shit for not playing Jason Tatum

Steve Kerr is a piece of shit. That's, that's really what this all boils down to. Jason Tatum did have a better plus minus than Joel Embiid. So there's that.

Steve Kerr is trying to sabotage the Celtics' chemistry

Maybe Steve Kerr is trying to stop the dynasty before it starts. It would be awesome if Steve Kerr was just trying to fuck with the Celtics chemistry right now and just piss off their star player.

Joel Embiid is the worst player in the entire Olympics

[Joel Embiid] is the worst player on the fucking team, probably in the whole Olympics.

The Celtics will be the most motivated championship team ever because of the Olympic snubs

The Celtics are gonna be the most motivated championship winning team of all time coming into next year. It's gonna be great for Jason Tatum to be back on a team in an organization that actually appreciates him.

Jason Tatum's clip of him chewing gum on the bench is an Aura clip

The clip of [Jason Tatum] shaking his head and chewing the gum on the bench is like, that's an Aura clip. When he fucking drops 60 on Steve Kerr's dumbass face next year. Aura.

Michael Phelps ruined swimming for me because he was too dominant

Michael Phelps ruined swimming for me personally. Because he was so goddamn dominant that, and it happened so recently that I'm watching swimming and I'm like, well, Phelps would've beaten all these guys.

I would have been a baseball player if my dad hadn't been fired at Washington State

If he [Jack Elway]... went for the job because he graduated from Washington State... and he was the runner up for the job. And thank god he didn't get that job. Otherwise I'd probably been a baseball player. Because the high school [in Pullman] ran the single wing. And so it would've never been exposed to what I got exposed to when we went down to Southern California in football.

You have to have a quarterback who can win from the pocket to win Super Bowls

To win Super Bowls, you have to have a quarterback that can win it from the pocket. You gotta be able to have the guys that can win it from the pocket because they're too good. I think that, you know, when you think about quarterbacks, I still believe you gotta win it from the pocket.

Passing on Josh Allen was the biggest mistake of my GM days

I loved him [Josh Allen]. Right? But it just, you know, didn't work out... and you're right. That was probably my biggest mistake of my GM days. Well, was not taking Josh.

Nutty Bars are a top-tier snack pick

Gonna go with Nutty Bars. Love them. Love them. Yeah. You know that You'll get my vote on that. It's a solid pick.

Doritos are the best snack

I will go with Doritos. Cool Ranch Doritos are my favorite. Doritos are the best. They really are the best.

Jayson Tatum's aura rating is currently -650

If you were to do like statistics on Jayson Tatum's Aura? I'd say he is like negative six 50.

Clutch performance is a real and verifiable factor in sports

Clutch 100% exists. Like there's no way to explain how some people are just better and like rise to the occasion and other people don't.

The New York Yankees need to extend Aaron Boone immediately to show they believe in him

I think that you have to give Aaron Boone an extension and show that you believe in him. And then the rest of the the clubhouse is gonna truly believe in him too. Then you'll be fine.

You would choose pizza over donuts for the rest of your life because you can't eat donuts every day

If it's pizza or donuts for the rest of your life, you'd have to take pizza. Like, I'm just being honest, like I love donuts, but you can't eat donuts every day. You could eat pizza almost every day.

Pie is vastly superior to cake as a dessert

I'm more of a pie guy than I'm a cake guy. I think pie clears cake all day. Birthday cake. Pretty decent pie. Vastly superior.

A bowl is a perfect delivery vessel because you never have a bad meal served in one

There's nothing really that you have a bad bowl of. You know what I mean? When you're getting, when you're getting a bowl out, you're getting just good. It's like soup, ice cream. Cereal. A bowl delivers great things.

August is the 'Month of Hate' in Major League Baseball

August is always the month of hate in the MLB. So no matter, you know, if your team's good or bad, you get, everybody wants to fucking kill each other. And it's literally, it's the month of hate just from being around each other for so much.

Clubhouse chemistry matters more than individual talent for winning championships

I think the Yankees have proved you can have all the best players, but If, you don't have the chemistry. It doesn't matter. You know, you gotta, you gotta gimme a, gimme a, a group of guys that might not be the best players, but they get along and they're all moving in the right direction and we'll go win.

Xander Schauffele's black Adidas shoes look like server shoes and make him look slow

The all black shoes are tough because you kind of look like a server. Like you look like you're gonna ha pass me some like bacon wrap scallops. I'm telling you, you look slow. White shoes look faster.

Xander Schauffele will never lose another major championship in his career

Xander Schauffele has lost his last major ever. I'm gonna see if I can parlay all four. You've already lost your last major. That's crazy.

Taking a long time to poop is a masculine dad move

I actually kind of feel like this is like my first, like I'm feel like a masculine dad because I feel like that's a very big dad move for the all the kids in the house to be like, yeah. Dad goes and takes long shits. Being like, I'm going to the shit or I'll be back in three hours.

Jordan Love's training camp hold-in is one of the most selfish things a player has ever done

Jordan Love is the first player to do this. And it's disgusting. This is one of the most selfish things I've ever seen a player do... he's not going to practice with his team until he gets his new contract.

Aaron Rodgers is currently less of a diva than Jordan Love

Is Aaron Rodgers less of a diva than Jordan Love? Aaron Rodgers at Training Camp, Jordan Love is not a training camp.

Jordan Love will become the highest paid player per year in the NFL

The market is speaking right now and it's saying that Jordan Love, if they—do I think they will make him the highest paid like per year. I don't know what the, which is crazy 'cause he's—a grand total. He's gonna do, he's 32 years old. So, so, so making Jordan Love the highest paid quarterback after like, such a small sample. That's the free market in the NFL. Yeah. It, it's one of those situations where you have to pay him.

Joe Burrow will not play an NFL game with his new bleached hair

I predict he will not play an NFL game with bleached hair... I think this is, this is just team building. This is just a guy being a dude, letting them make fun of him during training camp. And then I think once the regular season starts, then it's business hair.

The Jaguars are the most likely NFL team to have a training camp fight over the new NCAA football game

I'm gonna say the Jaguars. I don't know why I was thinking that too. Yeah, Jaguars. Jaguars are gonna fight over [NCAA Football 25].

Donald Trump is an impressive golfer for his age

Stick to sports. But he is a very good golfer. He did the video with Bryson [DeChambeau] and he, he was impressive... with like if you or I or PFT was playing with Bryson. It's doubtful that we would be have his... he shot two solo birdies and a solo eagle.

If Tarik Skubal gets traded to the Dodgers, my Cy Young bet is in trouble

Tarik Skubal, who is the presumptive Cy Young favorite... is possibly gonna get traded... I bet it right then and there. So I have plus 400. I think he's like minus 125 now. But he might get traded to the Dodgers. If he gets traded to the Dodgers, I'm fucked. You don't want him in the National League. They only base their voting on what you did in your new league.

The WNBA's momentum will be killed by its four-week Olympic break

My Hot Seat, coincidentally... The WNBA. They won't be playing basketball for four weeks. So imagine if, like the 1988 dunk contest. It was incredible. And then the NBA just didn't happen for four weeks. All the momentum they've gained, just nothing's gonna happen.

Waffles are superior to pancakes in every way

I'm going to go waffles. Love waffles. Superior to pancakes in every way. Waffles versatile. You can go sweet... or you can go savory. The nooks and crannies make it.

Breakfast burritos are better than breakfast tacos outside of Austin

In Austin, you are correct [that tacos are better]. But the rest of the country breakfast burrito is always better than a breakfast taco. Where have you had a good breakfast taco outside of Austin? Breakfast tacos are good, but they're like a, they're a treat for like certain parts of the country.

Cold pizza is an elite breakfast food

I think it's an elite breakfast: cold slice of pizza. So good. It's zero calorie. Tastes great. Just put a little hot sauce on it. Yeah, it's great. I love, I love having pizza for breakfast.

The Titans will make the playoffs in 2024

I did Titans make the playoffs and I'm excited. I, I love Will Levis, the quarterback. We got De Hop, DeAndre Hopkins. We got... the Sneed dude from Kansas City that we've got. And so I think, I mean... Houston's going to be, it'll be a tough division, but I think, I think we can do it. I think we can get the playoffs.

Xander Schauffele had a better year than Scottie Scheffler

Xander is now—I like, you can't say that Xander hasn't had a better [year]. I know Scotty has all these wins on the tour. Two majors to one. That's it. Xander had the better year.

Joe Biden's political situation is identical to a backup quarterback entering a game

It is kind of like the backup quarterback situation. Kamala, are you really ready to see Trevor Siemian start? Let's go until he steps up and then throws three picks in the first half and you're like, 'fuck, I kind of miss Zach Wilson.'

Frozen yogurt is the Brock Purdy of ice creams

I would say frozen yogurt is the Brock Purdy of ice creams. You can win with it. Where ideally would you take it number one? Probably not. But you get all the great toppings on it and it becomes great.

Patrick Mahomes is the 'animal' I would most like to be

I would like to be Patrick Mahomes. Humans are animals. Scientifically, they are, they literally are animals. If you could pick any animal to be, Patrick Mahomes would be a pretty fucking sick animal to be.

Caleb Williams will be a good NFL quarterback

Yeah, I do [think Caleb's a good quarterback]. I like Swift. I like Keenan, DJ. I like the receiver from Washington [Rome Odunze]. I think the team is almost good enough to beat the Packers.

The Egyptian pyramids are much older than conventional history suggests

I'm wearing the Graham Hancock camp as far as like that the age of those structures is much older than they tell us. I'd like—I mean he talks a lot about the Younger Dryas and going back 10,800 years I believe it is. And to me that seems more in line.

I will 'sweet talk' Leonard Floyd to avoid another injury on Monday Night Football

I'm gonna have to sweet talk him [Leonard Floyd] a little bit. Pay him off. Just let me get through play five.

Politics in the US is a sham where nothing ever changes

Politics I've said from the beginning is an absolute sham. Life doesn't actually get better for any of us, whether it's a Republican or a Democrat. And we're still just doing the same fucking two party system and not letting Bobby [Kennedy] get in or anybody else.

The US should have a 70 or 75-year-old age limit for political office

But just some common sense politics. Let's not let anybody over 75—the Packers have a rule, 70, you gotta retire. You go into a board of directors, it's 70, you gotta retire. That seems to make pretty good sense.

The New York media is unethical and prioritizes control

The media in general is scared of people that they can't control. Because they built this brand that can't be controlled. I would say the majority of them too are so unethical. The practices now is just a fucking joke.

I will play at least two more seasons with the Jets to win two Super Bowls

I'm not sure [how many more years]. This one for sure. I'd like to do two good ones and give us a chance to retire a Jet, you know, win two Super Bowls.

Joel Embiid believes the current LeBron James is not the same as the dominant version from years ago

The LeBron now is not the LeBron that was a couple of years ago. So it's a big difference. Everybody would also tell you, and you can see for yourself, the athletic LeBron dominant that he was a couple years ago is not the same that he is now.

Hitting too many 'dingers' caused my bicep tendonitis

I have bicep tendonitis in my right arm from hitting dingers... it hurts to lift my right arm. So the backswing, there's a lot of pain.

I'm 'too fat' to go by Matt, so use Matthew instead

I'd prefer Matthew. I think I'm a little too fat for Matt. I think Matt's, you know, last six months, they've probably gotten laid.

I'm officially 'washed' after struggling in the home run derby

Tuesday night we hit dingers... but I think I'm officially, officially washed because... I was halfway through the whole competition and I looked at the leaderboard and it was like me, Titus, Chief, Brandon... every guy who's 37 plus. I was maxing out everything I had and it wasn't that good.