Takes

The Steelers will trade Antonio Brown

I think he's going to get traded. I think the craziest part of the story was you've got to really fuck up to get benched, to be the best player on your team and get benched during a game or for a game that would get you into the playoffs.

I am taking the over on the Alabama-Oklahoma game regardless of the total

Alabama playing Oklahoma. I'm taking the over no matter what. It's like 80, but that's one of those ones they're challenging me. Let's do it. They're telling me you won't do this, and I fucking will.

I think Notre Dame might beat Clemson because I can't bet on two favorites in the same night

I can't take both favorites, so I'm taking Notre Dame, and I think they might win the game. Solely because of the other game [Alabama-Oklahoma].

I believe I can play 10 more years in the NFL

I probably got like 10 more. Yeah, I probably got like six or like seven real years in me than the last three I just steal. Just get in on third downs.

The Cleveland Browns will win at least six games this season

Shout out to the Cleveland Browns. You're going to win a game this year. We're going to win at least six games.

The Browns will be the 'Regis Philbin' sneaky team everyone picks to make noise next year

Still a pretty incredible season, the fact that they [Browns] fired their coach and almost made the playoffs. They will now be our Regis Philbin team to make some noise next year. Everyone will pick them. They're the sneaky team.

Patrick Mahomes' unorthodox fundamentals will eventually fail him as his athleticism dips

The league is going to catch up to Patrick Mahomes throwing sidearm. 20 years from now, when his athleticism starts to dip, you can't rely on bending, contorting your body and running sideways and throwing sidearm passes. You just can't. So I have my doubts.

The Packers would hire Mike Tomlin in a second if he was available

Actually, you know where he'd go. Packers. They need a Mike. They need to keep the Mike legacy going. The Packers would grab him in a second.

I want to reach 200 pounds for the first time in my life

I'm going to gain eight pounds in January. Because I'm eight pounds away from 200. I've never been 200 in my life.

Texas will be 'all the way back' if they beat Georgia in the Sugar Bowl

They [Texas] have this opportunity in the Sugar Bowl to be all the way back. If they beat Georgia, they're officially back. They're all the way back.

No one's going to beat Duke this year

Duke is still undefeated and they win against Texas Tech at Madison Square Garden. No one's going to beat Duke this year.

If the Cowboys are a legitimate NFC contender, they will beat the Bucs by 20+

If the Cowboys are a legitimate NFC contender, they beat the Bucs in this game by 20 plus. They bury Jameis Winston. They do not let him off the mat.

If the Texans get a first-round bye, they will go to the Super Bowl

I firmly believe that if the Texans get a bye, they will probably go to the Super Bowl. If they don't, no.

The Saints will 'kill' the Steelers

I think the Saints are going to kill the Steelers. The Saints, there's a lot of talk... oh, maybe not so good. They're not looking as great the last few weeks. They're at home. They're going to kill the Steelers. Mike Tomlin versus Sean Payton, enough said.

The New Zealand Breakers would crush Rick Pitino's Greek team

Panathinaikos versus the Breakers. Who wins? Breakers. Yeah, for real? Yeah, definitely. We would crush Panathinaikos. No chance.

Bryce Harper will sign with the Philadelphia Phillies

Bold prediction. Phillies.

Luke Walton's job is safe for the rest of the season

I don't see Luke Walton on the hot seat because Magic Johnson said he's going to be around for the rest of the season barring something catastrophic. So there you go.

I will cut off the tip of Big Cat's pinky if the Seahawks win the Super Bowl

I personally Dunchained the Seahawks. I think they were the inaugural Dunchain. And listen, Big Cat is being very, very accountable with his Texans Dunchain, saying that he will cut his pinky off. I just want to say I will be held accountable as well. If the Seahawks win the Super Bowl, I will cut off the tip of Big Cat's pinky.

Tom Brady's age is finally starting to catch up to him

I think there's a lot of factors in play. Brady might be—age might be catching up to him. [Big Cat: Are you worried?] Yes.

Tiger Woods will win every major championship next year

I'm a Tiger guy. I want Tiger to win every tour major championship next year, but if it's not Tiger, I want Patrick Reed just to piss everyone off.

If Green Bay beats Chicago, they are going to the playoffs

Green Bay wins this game, and they're going to the playoffs. Because there are a lot of things that have to happen for Green Bay to make the playoffs, and they're all going to happen. But the big question mark is, can they win this game?

Mike Tomlin gets fired if the Steelers miss the playoffs

I think Mike Tomlin gets fired if they don't make the playoffs.

The Buccaneers will cover +7.5 against the Ravens

My walk of the week is going to be the Bucs. Maybe even sprinkle a little bit. The Bucs. [Against] The Ravens. Plus seven and a half.

The Browns are going to make the playoffs

The Browns are going to make the playoffs. I'm looking at it too, and you know what season it is. It's playoff machine season on ESPN... I've been running the scenarios, crunching the numbers. They're not [the Packers] going to make the playoffs... But you know who is going to make the playoffs? The Browns.

CBD is the next big industry bubble

[The next bubble is] CBD. I like CBD if it's the real stuff, but I think that there are a lot of fly-by-night companies right now that are trying to capitalize on it.

I have worries about the Bears' offense clicking in January

I will be honest—I have worries about the offense at times... The offense did not click the way that they'll need to click in January.

The Patriots' loss to the Dolphins will motivate them to a championship

It is one of those losses that... shows up in the beginning of a championship DVD. The Pats lost to the Dolphins in heartbreaking fashion. They fucked up their defense. They kind of woke up. They're going to go into the film room. Belichick's going to tear into them, and that's what's going to give them the motivation they need to push through the playoffs.

Alabama will kill Kyler Murray and Oklahoma in the playoffs

They will kill Kyler Murray when they play... There's nothing like an Alabama team that feels slighted in any way, and this is just perfect.

I might consider a mid-career position change to tight end

Thinking about maybe, maybe a mid-career position change... Oh, I'm a natural tight end. Always have been.

I will cut off my pinky if the Texans win the Super Bowl

I already said I was going to cut off my pinky if the fucking Texans win the Super Bowl.

The Cowboys will win the NFC East if they beat the Eagles in Week 14

This is the week that if the Cowboys beat the Eagles, they have basically won the NFC East. And it will be very hard for them to lose it.

The Texans will reach the Super Bowl if they secure a first-round bye

If they get a bye, I think they'll go to the Super Bowl. I will be officially nervous if they get a bye because the whole time I've been like, you know what? They have to win three games. There's no way they're going to win three playoff games.

Joe Flacco will eventually sign with the Washington Redskins and go 8-8 for three years

He might sign with the [Redskins] and just, like, make the commute from Baltimore... and go 8-8 for the next three years.

Aaron Rodgers will play his best game of the season to prove Mike McCarthy was the problem

I feel like Aaron Rodgers is going to try to ball out so he can say Mike McCarthy was the problem. Absolutely. That is exactly what's going to go on. He's going to play the best game of the season.

Conor McGregor will never fight in boxing again

In boxing, no, unless it's some sad story 30 years from now. But no, not in boxing.

Urban Meyer will eventually be the head coach at USC

We'll just call him future USC head coach Urban Meyer.

The Eagles will not be successful for much longer despite their recent win

The other thing that happened on Monday Night Football, we had the Eagles somehow getting life. And if you look at the rest of their schedule, they will not have life.

Our next breaking news scoop is 100% guaranteed to be correct

The next piece of news that we break, 100% guarantee that it's correct. 100%. We are not going to take any more risks. We're going to get back in the winning streak.

Half the internet will hate whatever name the Seattle hockey team chooses

Whatever they're going to name [the Seattle hockey team], prediction, whatever they're going to name it, half the people on the internet are going to be mad. Half the people are going to like it just like their jerseys.

I hope to get into the Hall of Fame despite my mistakes

Look, I really hope and wish that I get in. But ultimately, that's not my decision. But I do think that I have a great opportunity... if that cost me the Hall of Fame, then I have no one to blame but myself.

I'm officially 'Done Chaining' the Carolina Panthers

I want to dun-chain the Panthers... The Panthers at 6-6 could easily catch someone and still get in the playoffs, but I honestly— Done chain them. I'm done chaining them. They're done. They don't have any fight. They look like shit.

The Houston Texans are a 'Team of Destiny' to win the Super Bowl

I said to you, by the end of the season, they will have so many stickers and patches on their uniforms and helmets because of all these people dying that are associated with the Texans... This is a team of destiny. They're really good.

The Cleveland Browns are my dark horse team for next year

I think it's a year early for the Browns. We'll put them in that pile. Okay, so they'll be the Regis Philbin pick next year. Yes, they're going to be our dark horse that no one sees coming.

Jalen Hurts will be an Alabama legend but won't do anything in the NFL

He's going to be the classic, like, not going to do anything in the NFL, but just be an Alabama legend forever. He'll do autograph signings for so much money for the rest of his life.

The Office will be rebooted within the next six months

I'm now just going to call my shot that within six months, [The Office] will be rebooted... Hank Guarantee. Yep. Six months.

Bruce Arians is the primary name for the Packers head coaching job

Without question, the first name, and I think the only name... Bruce Arians has already been making noise about coaching the crowd. If I'm the Packers, I want Arians because I need somebody who's going to get through to Rodgers.

Mike McCarthy will be a top candidate for the Cleveland Browns job

Don't be surprised if McCarthy's name ends up at the top of the list in Cleveland... I'd be looking for current head coaches to maybe be thinking about trying to get to a place like Cleveland or Green Bay.

Le'Veon Bell will sign with the Jets for more than $17.5 million per year

I think the Jets, the Jets are the team. And I think the over-under is $17.5 million a year, and I'll take the over.

Sean Payton will be the head coach of the Dallas Cowboys in 2019

I've been saying for the last eight months that Sean Payton is going to be the coach of the Dallas Cowboys next year. I'm not saying that Jerry Jones won't offer up a meatball of a trade if he feels like it so he can give Sean Payton a John Gruden-type contract.

This is the week the Patriots propel themselves back to the top of the NFL

Everyone's been talking about the Rams, Chiefs, Saints. They've all been kind of shown as frauds. They have weaknesses. This will be the week the Pats propel themselves back to the top of the league.