Takes

Having the #1 overall pick is the second-best outcome a team can have

I'd actually argue that the number one pick, if you can't win the Super Bowl, that's the second best spot to be in. Number one pick. Give the number one pick.

Dak Prescott stinks and I don't believe in him

Dak Prescott seven straight games with an interception. Yeah. He stinks. He's bad. I don't believe in him whatsoever. I'm sorry. I just don't.

The NFL should expand the playoffs to eight seeds in each conference due to the Damar Hamlin game cancellation

There's another possible outcome that we can have here. This is the one that I think that they should do. This seems to be the most fair one. They are considering giving eight seeds in the AFC as well as the NFC. Because it would be more fair if you can't just have the number one seed in the NFC get a leg up and get that bye week if the AFC doesn't get it.

The AFC Championship Game should be played at a neutral site in Detroit

Let's be honest, the answer is Detroit. Because it's always Detroit for these games. And then we'd also have the joke of like, this team has won more games in Detroit—playoff games in Detroit—than Detroit in the last 30 years. You just gotta always fall back to what is the trivia answer that would hurt Detroit the most.

Steve Smith Sr. belongs in the Hall of Fame based on his Triple Crown stats with Jake Delhomme

Steve Smith should be a hall of famer. He should make it, he's like eighth all time in receiving yards. I think he's top 15 in touchdowns. But here's the stat that really should put him in... There's only four guys who have won the triple crown... Sterling Sharpe with Brett Favre, Jerry Rice with Joe Montana, Cooper Kupp last year, and then Steve Smith with Jake Delhomme. That tells you how good he is.

If Georgia wins the National Championship, they are officially the new standard in college football, replacing Alabama

The new champ should be, we want Georgia. Like Georgia has become the new standard and if they win Monday night, without question, even if they don't win, I feel like they've arrived to that point. They win Monday night, there's a new sheriff in town. You know, it's Kirby Smart and the Georgia Bulldogs.

Brock Purdy's success will change how NFL teams evaluate veteran college quarterbacks over 'workout' prospects

It's gonna change the evaluation on quarterbacks moving forward. Like was Zach Wilson who was doing the spin move in the throw at his workout, and Brock Purdy, Mr. Irrelevant, who was a four-year starter. I think it's gonna change guys like Stetson Bennett or Max Duggan... those guys who played a ton of football, they're all gonna be looked at differently.

I could land a commercial airliner if the pilot became incapacitated

If I got behind the wheel or what the stick of a 737 and I was able to talk to air traffic control, I honestly do believe that I would be able to land a plane. It's pretty simple stuff. It's not rocket science, it's air science.

Safeties should be worth four points because they are so difficult to achieve

Safeties should be worth four [points] because the safeties are so hard to get. ... Two points is like a spitting in the face of the defense.

We need less regular season and more playoffs in all sports

Do you know what we need less of? Is the regular season? We need more playoffs in all things. Playoffs aren't the best... Every league is expanding. And I get the argument like, you know, the making the playoffs means less, you're gonna have bad teams, but then when you start the playoffs, there's just more playoffs. And that fucking rules.

The 49ers are talented enough to beat any team in the NFL with a generic fourth-string quarterback

I think the 49ers are built to the point where they could beat any team in the NFL [with] the fourth string quarterback that you select and it's just the silhouette of a gray head. As long as that gray head doesn't turn the ball over... I think the 49ers are built to the point where they could beat any team.

Urban Meyer is the worst coach in the history of the NFL

Doug Peterson... had to exercise the demons of the moron that was in front of him. I mean, that's the worst coach in the history in the National Football League. Urban Meyer with his bullhorn and his sophomore high school ways. Gimme a break. That thing was a disaster last year.

Bryce Young's small stature is a major concern for his NFL prospects

Bryce Young is five nine. I mean he five 10. I love the way he throws a football. But can you take, you know, he was standing next to Mark Ingram the other day and he looked like the same size. ... He's not a big guy.

The Minnesota Vikings are frauds

I've said that word [frauds] before and I heard it got back to him and they weren't real happy about it. ... I think there's a glazed look that comes over [Kirk Cousins'] face in moments and when it does, you know it's happening.

If TCU wins the National Championship, I will be the greatest redheaded college football player of all time

Are you the best red-headed college football player of all time? ... Andy Dalton might... he went to TCU and he was a legend. ... [PFT]: I think if you win this game, there can be no more debate. You are him. [Duggan]: That would be something special.

The college football playoff semifinals were the best in history

The best college football playoffs we've ever seen. Semi-finals. I like how people were tweeting, like is it a hot take to say these are the best semi-finals we've ever seen? No, they usually always suck. And those were two incredible games.

The 2022 Buccaneers are flawed but have learned the lessons they need for a playoff run

It looks like the Bucks have actually looked at what's made them flawed and then realized there are certain things that we can do good. Let's lean into those things... as if it turns out that still throwing deep balls to Mike Evans works.

Mike Evans is a Hall of Famer

Mike Evans is a hall of famer. Yeah. Which is crazy cuz it's, it doesn't, it feel like he's had a very good career, but then when you stop and you look at it, you're like, holy shit. He's, he's got 81 touchdowns in his career. If he gets to a hundred, he'll be top 10 all time in touchdowns. Everyone in the top 15 is in the Hall of Fame. Every single year he's been in the NFL nine years. Every year he's gotten over a thousand yards and he's not even 30 yet.

Ron Rivera should be fired if he truly didn't know the Commanders' playoff elimination scenario

Ron Rivera apparently didn't know that if the Packers beat the Vikings later on in the day, that that would eliminate us from the playoffs. And that's why he chose to start Carson Wentz. I if that's true, it's one of two things. Either, either Ron Rivera is trying to get fired by saying he didn't know that or he should be fired if he didn't know that.

Brian Daboll is the NFL Coach of the Year

Brian Dayle is Coach of the Year. He's getting my official vote. I have a lot, lot of backup votes. I think he's coached the year. The New York Giants, excuse me, are in the playoff for the first time since 2016. The boat curse has officially been erased. This team is pretty much the same team as it was last year, except the coach is different and he's gotten so much out of these guys.

Jalen Hurts should be the MVP because of how badly the Eagles struggled without him

Jalen [Hurts] should be the MVP because of what we've seen from Gardner Minshew. Give him the MVP because the debate is always, if you took this guy off the team, what would they look like? Well now we know: 13 and 1, 0 and 2.

It is 'winner talk' for a fan to want their team to lose for a better draft pick

If you're friends with someone who's a Bears fan, if you have a family member's Bears fan who thinks that they should somehow try to win week 18, you need to tell 'em to shut the fuck up. This is not loser talk. No, no, no. It's actually winner talk to try to actually set up your franchise to be in the best possible position to get the most possible picks going forward.

The New York media is the primary reason why Jets quarterbacks fail

I'm really trying to figure out, what is the reason why quarterbacks are having real problems succeeding in the New York Jets organization. I really do think it's the New York media that makes the jets bad. It would be funny to figure out what exactly is going on. I might do like a docu-series, like try to figure out what the hell's going on.

The Ohio-Wyoming Arizona Bowl is for true football guys because there will be a lot of running and punting

Ohio and Wyoming. I think we're gonna get some, this is gonna be one of those games where it's the true football guys, cuz there's gonna be a lot of running, a lot of punting football guys.

I would rather watch the playoffs fan-free than have the Patriots make it just to get smoked

Honestly, I know I have to watch these games anyway. I would rather just watch the playoffs completely fan free because I know it's get my hopes up and be like, oh, you know, I have to worry about and like, kind of put myself up for them winning. Even though if they won the first game, they're getting smoked the second game. They're probably getting smoked the first game.

Mac Jones is a dirty player

I think that was a, a cheap shock going at his Eli Apple's ankles for sure. He's had some dirty plays.

The Jets are a good team with Mike White and a bad team with Zach Wilson

I'm back on the Jets. Mike White. I really do think that they're, they're actually a good team with Mike White. They're such a bad team with Zach Wilson. I think the defense will get like a, you know, juiced up from it. I, the Seahawks have been very, very bad.

Nathaniel Hackett is the worst coach of all time

Nathaniel Hackett officially fired... worst coach of all time.

Bills-Bengals is the best Monday Night Football game of all time based on records

I am so fucking excited for this game. Yes. It's, it's I think the best Monday night football game of all time considering the records of the teams playing in it.

I am 89% personally responsible for the Titans' collapse this season

I would say 83%... Can't stay on the field. Not 77. Can't stay on the field injury. Prone poor leadership. I would, I would say, 89% now.

Nebraska's 2021 team was nine plays away from a perfect 12-0 season

Can you confidently say Nebraska of 2021 was not the greatest three win football team... You can easily say that... nine plays away from a perfect 12 and 0 season.

Losing to Ohio State in the National Championship would be a program ruiner for Michigan

If we lose Ohio State, that is 10 million times worse than Georgia. That is a program ruiner for Michigan. Yes.

Jim Harbaugh is the best coach in college football right now

I love Harbaugh so much. I think he is the best coach in college football right now. I do believe that.

Derek Carr is being unfairly used as a shield for the Raiders' collective failures

I do think it's unfair the way it's going down... putting him down in that manner and using him as the shield. Like this is the reason that we're failing... that is ultimately what you're trying to show, right?

Justin Jefferson should be the NFL MVP because the Vikings would have five fewer wins without him

I think Justin Jefferson should be actually the MVP looked at as the MVP... If you took him off the team, I think if I have like four or five less wins.

Steve Harvey is the greatest game show host of his generation.

But I will say one guy who's transcended all of that and even surpassed Louie Anderson, who nobody thought ever could is Steve Harvey with Family Feud. America's host Family Feud. You know what I mean? I think Steve definitely did that.

Having a child is a completely transformative experience that non-parents cannot understand

That's one of those ones that like, if you don't have kids, and I'm not shaming anyone, but like when you do have a kid, you're like, oh fuck, this is completely different than anything else.

A best man speech should be three to five minutes long

I think you have to keep it like five minutes or less. I think anyone who goes longer than that is... it's three to five minutes.

You should never use notes when giving a best man speech because it ruins the heart of the message.

The biggest thing though, you can't have notes. I think the notes make you freaked out. The guy who goes up with—I've seen some really bad ones... I think no notes is the way to go because people will be like, oh wow, you really spoke from the heart.

No one circles the wagons like the Buffalo Bills

I just cranked it out on primetime. No one circles the wagons like the Buffalo Bills. And it became a war chant.

Anything I do is immediately no longer considered cool.

I would agree that anything that I do is no longer cool. So like when I wear the, the plaid button down to week one, you know, it looks like I got it from Kohl's. But if Justin Jefferson wears that same plaid button down to next week's press conference, everybody in Minnesota's buying a plaid button down. So I'm fully aware of that and I don't wanna do anything to tarnish the Griddy.

I could start over 50% of the current quarterbacks in the NFL.

[PFT: How many quarterbacks in the NFL right now do you think that you could start over?] 50%.

Roy Williams is a better head coach in the state of North Carolina than Mike Krzyzewski was over the last 20 years.

I actually think that tonight's victory over Duke is the final feather in the cap for Roy Williams being a better head coach in the state of North Carolina than Mike Krzyzewski was in the last 20 years.

If you're down eight with two minutes left, just take the points

You kick a field goal there. Just take the points. Just take the points, that's it.

Tua Tagovailoa's marriage to his college sweetheart suggests he views college as the peak of his life.

Tua just got married to his, I think his college sweetheart. Oh. Which is weird. Like far outside of college. Like that just tells me that he's thinking like, yeah, you know what? College was the best time that I ever in my life.

Kirk Cousins is maybe clutch

I have a question for you off this game... Is Kirk Cousins maybe Clutch?

The Giants should not sign Daniel Jones to a long-term contract

I think most Giants fans would agree that like, this is a fun season, but let's not, let's not go making like long term future. Let's not get married to each other here.

Dan Campbell is the best loser in the NFL

That's another example of Dan Campbell being the best loser in the NFL. He's falling back into his own ways where every time he loses he's, he says or does something that makes us be like, 'fuck, he's cool.' ... If you kick his ass, he'll like slap you really hard on the back and say like, 'great job, you beat the shit out of me.'

Steve Wilkes has earned the right to be the Panthers' head coach next year

I think at this point, if you don't bring him back, I think the players that are here right now that are coming back next year are gonna be pissed off. I think they're going to be really upset about that.

Mac Jones is football's Grayson Allen

Mack Jones, like... his body language, those plays, like twisting guy's ankles, hitting people in the balls and then, and then just screaming at everyone... He's football Grayson Allen.