Takes

Nick Foles is not a consistent starting quarterback in the NFL

Nick Foles... He's not good. He's not good at playing football. Like, he's not good at being a quarterback. It's just... Objectively, he's just not. He's just found himself in a couple good situations. Right. He's reached incredible heights, and he's had incredible moments. But, like, game to game, he is not a consistent starter in the NFL.

Vine was the perfect social media app

Vine, it was the most perfect app that's ever been invented. Vine was everything that TikTok and Instagram stories and fleets always wanted to be. Vine was the perfect app. Six seconds. It also, Vine was like the greatest, because TikTok, anyone can do anything... Having to be funny in six seconds or less is very hard to do.

The 2020 NBA Draft might be historically bad at the top

It's a bad draft at the top, and it may be historically bad. I know the closer we get to this, it happens every year where it'll be a bad draft... But at the top, you always hope every year there's maybe one or two guys that can really impact a franchise... And this one has a chance to have zero.

James Wiseman is the best player in the 2020 NBA Draft

I like Wiseman... I like him this much in comparison to everybody else... The thing I like about him is yes the size and all that stuff he catches everything... Wiseman also has another level that I don't know if he's going to get to, but he'll show it with his handle. He'll show a really soft touch where he almost has some of these offensive small forward skills that you start to get really, really excited about.

The Bucks trading multiple unprotected first-round picks for Jrue Holiday is irresponsible

When you look at the Bucs and say, wait, in 2027, part of that Drew Holiday deal is a 2027 unprotected pick? That, to me, is insane slash irresponsible... To think here we are seven drafts from now, there's this pick that's completely unprotected... I don't understand why people think this is like normal.

James Harden's production is inflated by about 25% due to the Rockets' system

I also think Houston's style is almost like the best Instagram filter... where when you go play in Houston's system when it's Harden... you're 25% better... it's very clear, at least to me, and I don't know why more people don't say this, that you almost have to shave off like 25% of it [Harden's production].

Kyrie Irving might not want James Harden on the Brooklyn Nets

I'm wondering if Kyrie is signing off on this. Because you would – I mean, look, I can never forget trying to figure out Kyrie, but I could actually see him not loving it at all because now all of a sudden he's going to be off the ball a lot more.

God is the Browns' best offensive coordinator

If you're a Browns fan, you're sitting here on Monday and being like, I think God is a Browns fan now. Because God, who decides the weather obviously, keeps doing the worst possible weather in Cleveland on game days and forcing the Browns to run the football. God is literally your best offensive coordinator. He's saying, do not throw it a million times. Run the rock.

The Chiefs, Lions, Falcons, and Chargers are the funnest teams to watch because of the inevitable chaos

I would put like the Chiefs, the Lions, the Falcons, and the Chargers as like the funnest teams to watch in the NFL, knowing that some crazy shit's going to happen. Like a 21-point lead [blowing it]. Some sort of heartbreak occur to the Lions franchise.

Mike Evans is a top three wide receiver in the NFL

I think Mike Evans, I think he continues to be kind of like an underrated wide receiver... I think he's probably top three wide receiver in the NFL.

The Dolphins are for real and past the 'frisky' stage

The Dolphins, they're for real. Yeah. I've got them in my for real column. Yes. They're not a fluke... They have been elevated from frisky to, for real, the next step is legit.

Kyler Murray is now must-watch TV

But Kyler Murray, who is now – like, he is officially elevated to must-watch, like – drop everything you have to watch every time he's got the ball that was insane that was an insane play.

A punter should be able to play with a broken wrist

I think that if you're a punter with a broken wrist and I want to be the heart of football guy... you should be able to punt with a broken wrist. If you're a punter, that's the one thing in your life that you should be able to still do with a broken wrist.

Derrick Henry is not a good short-yardage back

I want to give credit a lot of credit to our own Billy football for initiating the take that Derrick Henry is not a good short yardage back... he doesn't like getting the ball up the middle... he's built like a horse, not an ox... he's all gam and no hams.

The Masters looks better in November than in April

I think that the Masters looks better in November. I think that the course—I think that it's better as a November tournament than it has ever won... it gives the pine trees more of a shine that often gets overlooked when everyone's talking about the azaleas.

Kliff Kingsbury is an airhead and a bimbo, not a genius

I don't think the Kliff Kingsbury is an offensive genius. No, I think he's a dummy. I think he's a fucking airhead. He's a bimbo. He's a member... he's all looks.

Scott Hanson is a superior RedZone host to Andrew Siciliano

Who do I have to tell go Siciliano? Oh my gosh... I'm taking PFT's gun and shooting Siciliano... why is that? [Scott] Hanson is far superior. He's an animal. He is outstanding what he does.

HP has the worst customer service in the human race

I prepared on my Twitter account this morning thing that says about HP the worst cutting height I put him in quotations—customer service the worst in the human race. Whoa. And I could hurt so many people.

The Chiefs are the only team in the NFL without a major flaw

I've come to the conclusion that it's the Chiefs and everyone else like every other team and I unfortunately I love the Steelers, but every other team has at least one flaw where you're like, I don't know. I don't really trust this and then the Chiefs don't.

The 76ers new City Edition jerseys are the worst of all time

My hot seat have a few first one is the 76ers. They released the ugliest probably the worst Jersey reveal of all time the NBA yesterday. They like had new City theme jerseys that are just disgusting... objectively ugly uniforms.

Never trust meat made from plant proteins

My hot seat is McDonald's they're releasing a McPlant... never trust a man made a plant proteins.

Bryson DeChambeau's 48-inch driver is cheating

I've never even tried 48 inch driver, but I would be lying if I said Bryson's not making me like kind of considering... sounds like it's cheating. I think it's cheating. [Big Cat: We decided it is cheating.] I'm a third party so that's not you as the fans can decide.

I would give up a pinky for the Bears to win a Super Bowl

Would you give up a pinky for the Bears to win a Super Bowl? Yeah, probably I would... but I don't want to have that fun taken away. Like, why would I do that to myself?

The Buccaneers should just throw out the tape from their blowout loss to the Saints

The Bucks have laid in all-time stinker... it is an atrocious game which we can pretty much recap right now. Is it better that the Bucks lost so bad that they can just throw this one out? You throw the tape out... Bruce Arians is not going to take this game seriously, like he is going to hit the delete button on it.

I wouldn't give Russell Wilson an MVP vote right now because Patrick Mahomes is better

Russell Wilson is not the MVP. Patrick Mahomes is starting to play incredible football. He's like so Patrick Mahomes is 25 touchdowns one interception... if I had to do the MVP voting right this second, I wouldn't give Russell Wilson an MVP vote.

If you take Russell Wilson off the Seahawks, they would be the West Coast Dallas Cowboys

I think you can make the argument that because his defense is so bad that that is actually saying that Russell Wilson... is the most valuable player in that if you were to take him off of his team... they would be the West Coast Dallas Cowboys, right? Except way way way worse.

Matt Nagy has lost the locker room

I'm so sick of Matt Nagy. I'm so sick of the visor. I'm so sick of his fucking bald ass head... I think Matt Nagy has lost locker room. No you have, no, I think he has because when you whenever you have a situation where it's like one side of the ball is so much better than the other the defense is just like sitting in the locker room knowing... where these clowns doing?

The Chiefs are by far the best team in the NFL

The Chiefs are definitely by far the best team in the NFL and then... they can literally do everything. I don't know like yes, this game was close... but winning these games. I'm never gonna be like, oh man, the chief should have blown them out.

Dalvin Cook is the answer to the 'don't pay running backs' argument

The Dalvin cook Dalvin cook should be the he will be the response to everyone being like don't pay running backs. Everyone will now start saying but Dalvin cook because he does make that much of a difference for Vikings... he is now the answer. He's the poster boy for yes. You should pay him and keep touching the electric fence.

The Chargers will never win a close game; it's the arrow paradox

I don't understand it how they can do this every single week... It's the arrow Paradox... like an arrow will never get totally from me to you if I shot you with an arrow because it would have to travel half the distance to you... that's how the Chargers keep getting closer and closer to winning a close game and they never they're just never going to win a close game.

Aaron Rodgers intentionally blocked Jordan Love from getting reps in the 49ers game

The Aaron Rodgers did need this would have been the perfect time for Jordan Love to get out there get some reps in my conspiracy theorist tinfoil hat says Aaron Rodgers put the kibosh on that.

Keeping Adam Gase is the smartest move for the Jets because he is a 'tank' that can't be accused of tanking

Keeping Adam Gase is the smartest thing you can do is GM because... it actually Adam Gase is your tank like he is your tank but not tanking. You can't be accused of tanking, but you are tanking when you have Adam Gase there.

The 'Christian Doctrine': NFL teams are actually harder to stop when their star player is out because of unpredictability

When a good player goes out or is traded the team does better I think we called the Christian doctrine... when a defense plans and you know Christian McCaffrey out there, you know, he's going to touch the ball like half the time when he's not you don't know where the balls going.

Johnny V (Artie Bucco) was the funniest person on the set of The Sopranos

For me it was probably Johnny V who played Artie Bucco. He is he's hilarious... he would just go into an impression of somebody and just stay that guy, you know, like he would be walking around the hotel pretending to be somebody else.

Modern poker is no longer fun because it has been solved by mathematical models and GTO

13 years ago poker was different than it is now, you know, they figured it out with solvers and computers... it just it makes it a lot harder it makes it also a lot less fun. You know People are just sitting there not talking figuring out like mathematical equations in their head where when I was when I moved to Vegas everybody was drinking and laughing and the poker table was like a party, you know, where now it's like a classroom.

The Buccaneers are still top-tier contenders because they can win with their C-game

I'm not going to like ding [the Bucs] for that because... you didn't get a A+ effort from the box and they still won with their C game, which actually is a better sign for... it's like very good. It was a trap game.

The Warriors' 'Oakland Forever' jerseys are total bullshit since they left town

They released jerseys for this year that say Oakland on them... It's like the Oakland forever jerseys and it got Warriors fans really mad because they left Oakland. Apparently there's like a lawsuit going on... it's messed up that they did that.

Stephen A. Smith refusing to mock the Cowboys is the meanest thing you can do to a fan

By saying this, this is the most he could ever make fun of... saying you're not even worthy to be made fun of, I feel so bad for you... I'm taking away the very last smidge of relevancy that you have is me making fun of you when you lose. This is the meanest thing that we could ever do to you.

If you have to ask if a guy is serious about a relationship, he's just trying to fuck

I think if you're asking then it's he's just trying to fuck. Like if this is like the old... if you're asking if he's into a relationship or just trying to fuck, he's probably just trying to fuck.

The Cowboys' defense plays better when they have a backup quarterback like Ben DiNucci

It turns out that in a weird way is kind of good having a shitty quarterback playing because your defense gets this mindset of like we have to create turnovers, we have to stop everybody. Whereas before they're like, oh we got Dak, he's gonna throw for a million yards, I can take a couple plays off here.

The Tennessee Titans are a fraudulent football team

I'm going to use the F-word on the Titans. I think the Titans where a fraudulent football... I think they're fun when they were five and oh I was saying I don't think they're real because Ryan Tannehill, we should always stick with our gut on Ryan Tannehill.

The Green Bay Packers have a soft defense

Aaron Rodgers playing great this year but similar to last year would you say the Packers might be a little a tad bit soft and say their defense might be a little soft... They are one of the last are going to just destroy some hearts they because they will get they're going to end up with a record like 12 and 4. Hmm. And Aaron Rodgers is going to be cooking at the end of the season. He's going to win a playoff game and he is going to break everybody's heart.

The Dolphins went to Tua Tagovailoa too early

I think that Fitzpatrick should be starting right now. I think they went to Tua too early. Not because now he played like I could give a shit how to play today. He didn't get hurt, which is great... I still think that Fitzpatrick like if you're actually going to be maybe a playoff team why not just stick with Fitzpatrick and see where this goes because every he gives you I think a better chance to win most games.

The Ravens are not a team that can throw the ball when expected to

These guys are not a one-dimensional team that can throw the ball when expected. They're not like that. The only way they're have success throwing the ball is the objective of run... and they didn't have that today.

I would take Derek Carr over Justin Herbert or Drew Lock right now

Between those three quarterbacks... Derek Carr, Herbert and then Drew Lock. I'll take Carr because I know what I'm gonna get. I don't know what those other guys gonna do. I'll take Carr.

LeBron James calling DK Metcalf 'Baby Bron' is the lamest thing ever

How come we didn't talk about this earlier? DK? LeBron James posting a story on his Instagram referring to DK Metcalf as baby Bron. Lamest thing ever. This guy's really good. He's baby Bron? I would be so pissed off if I was DK Metcalf.

The Falcons won't blow any more games because the internet has figured out the joke

I have a theory PFT as soon as the internet catches on to something that's when it's done. And if you watch the timeline and everyone talking in the fourth quarter, like, how are the Falcons going to blow this, right? Falcons aren't going to blow any more games now Falcons might even go on a run because as soon as everyone starts figuring it out and making the same joke.

Chasing gambling news regarding COVID-19 absences never works out

I feel like it never works out if you immediately bet Boston College for Saturday Clemson's not going to win. Like 55 instead of 45 and so like it will just blow up in your face. I just chasing it just never works. For some reason. You just can't like whenever you think you got to beat on it. You just don't

Wisconsin's football season is effectively over

My fire. First two of them Wisconsin's football season is over pretty much that sucked

Patrick Mahomes would have been a bust if he were drafted by the Chicago Bears

This is why I've always said when everyone's like well, we could have Patrick Mahomes. Patrick Mahomes would have got hit by a bus if he had been a Chicago Bear. There is just it's never going to be in the cards for the Bears to be able to move the football.