Takes

Murder Hornets are not a threat to humans and people should be more worried about Africanized Bees

Murder Hornets are not a problem. The Africanized bees, on the other hand, have been killing more people per capita in the U.S. already... selfies are more dangerous than the murder hornets to the Chinese.

The Rams new logo is even worse than when it was first revealed

The Rams logo sucks even worse than I – like, they did the logo reveal a month ago. We all roasted it. I forgot about it... But, man, does that logo suck.

The NFL's Christmas Day game is a direct shot at the NBA

The NFL is now saying, fuck you, NBA. We're not giving you this day for free. They're fighting back, and they will have an NFL game on Christmas Day.

I will bet on any NFL team that was bad the previous year in Week 1

My week one strategy is just basically bet on the teams that sucked last year.

The Arizona Cardinals are being overlooked heading into the 2020 season

DeAndre Hopkins is on the Cardinals, just a reminder. Everyone's forgetting about the Cardinals.

Kristin Cavallari is leaking stories to the press to make Jay Cutler look bad

Kristen Cavallari has now had like seven stories in the last week that she's leaked to the press. My quarterback has not said a word... she is going to have a reality show being like living through a divorce or some bullshit.

The NC Dinos are officially the podcast's KBO team

So the NC Dinos, that's going to be our team. They actually have a nice logo, too. Some good colors... we got in on the ground floor here. We are the number one NC Dinos podcast.

Anytime a team loses to Georgia Tech, it's a trap game because of the triple option

I'm of the mindset that anytime a team loses to Georgia Tech, it's a trap game because you don't see the triple option coming.

Kirk Cousins is a good quarterback but he turtles under pressure

I like Kirk. He's a good quarterback... the thing about him is just, he's not mobile. It's almost comical when shit hits a fan where he's just like, okay, bye. [He turtles].

Tailgating is better than actually going to the game

I actually think the tailgate is better than going to the game. If a perfect Sunday would be to tailgate then go watch all the games, because there's something about a tailgate when you have that vibe where everyone's excited for what could possibly happen and everyone's in a great mood.

I would definitely go into an NBA bubble to finish the season

If I were still playing in the league right now and Adam Silver called me up and said, hey, we're going to go live in a bubble... I would be open to it. One, if it's safe and it's a healthy environment, that's great. Two, being able to forfeit that time away from your family... it's a give-take situation.

McDonald's has the champagne of straws

The McDonald's straws was different. I felt like the 7-Elevens or the Big Gulps... the texture was different. McDonald's straws just look cool. They look swaggy... yeah, that's a champagne of straws.

March Madness makes you want to play basketball more than any other event

I would say my number one would be March Madness always makes me want to go play hoops. Something about March Madness makes basketball more romantic, so you just want to go play it and relive Valpo and all this shit.

The PT Cruiser is an objectively terrible car

Right off the bat, PT Cruiser. Easy. Bad car.

White Volkswagen Jettas are strictly for drug dealers and girlfriends

White Jetta is just your girlfriend's car. Or a high school drug dealer. Like, hey, this isn't expensive but it's kind of nice... I would actually say that probably 33% of Pardon My Take listeners have either dated a girl that drives a Jetta or bought marijuana from somebody that drives a Jetta.

Michael Jordan released 'The Last Dance' 50% to bash Isiah Thomas and 50% to prove he is better than LeBron James

If you had to break it down Michael Jordan doing this documentary [is] 50% to remind everyone in the world that Michael Jordan's the goat and like he's still better than LeBron and 50% just to shit down Isiah Thomas' throat.

The 1990s Bulls would have beaten the KD-era Warriors in six games

I would say the Bulls in six. Being with the Bulls, we don't believe in seven games in the finals... when you got a Michael Jordan and a Scottie Pippen in their prime and Horace Grant here, I mean, victory.

Andy Dalton has had a better NFL career than Carson Wentz

Andy Dalton if the season ended today for both their careers Andy Dalton had a better career than Carson Wentz... His highs were better than Andy Dalton's [but] you can't put Carson ahead [of] Andy.

Video games should only be played with a controller, regardless of PC or Console

I play video games with a controller. Like I'll never play video games... [without a controller]. Video games we play with a controller. Yes. I don't want to hear anything different.

Darren Rovell's Kate Upton story is actually a flex on his 'talent scouting' ability

Darren Ravel posting this literally has nothing to do with him wanting to have sex with Kate Upton. It's just him trying to flex on everybody and being like I I recognize that this woman was going to be very attractive... I have a great eye for talent.

Michael Jordan is the absolute definition of a 'winner', despite his flaws as an owner

Michael Jordan is not a loser... he is the definition of the word winner? Yes. Yeah, I would say so in like sees synonymous with winner more probably any athlete.

There should be a '23andMe' for old clothes to find out where they went

Why [isn't there] the 23andMe for your old clothes? You'll be session like I had to just awesome sweatshirt 15 years ago... I wouldn't have thrown that away. But where is it?

Jameis Winston signing with the Saints is a genius move to eventually become the starter in waiting

It actually is genius move by him because Drew Brees you have to think... maybe this year's is last year. Maybe he's got two more years. If you could ingratiate yourself to Sean Payton and what they have going on there... that's actually a very smart thing to do to be the guy in waiting.

I want the 2020 MLB season to be as weird and different as possible

If this season is going to be weird make it really fucking weird... I love this idea that they're going to restructure how the divisions are... it would be so disappointing if they did a shortened baseball season and nothing was different.

Data visualization designers and bow tie manufacturers are thriving during the pandemic

I actually think bow ties are getting a big boom because every time I turn on CNN, there's a fucking weirdo doctor... what do they do wear a bow tie. The people who are making the the gifts of like, you know, like the spread of coronavirus the charts. It's got to be off the charts for them right now.

The first blast of air conditioning on a super hot day is a top-tier life victory

the first first time you step inside and feel that blast of air conditioning on a super hot day... it just it feels like heaven just had on washes over you.

There is a specific feeling of being in a movie when the perfect song hits at the right time

When you have the perfect song Come On whether it be in the car or when you're walking and you feel like you're in a movie... when that perfect song hits for your mood for the weather for everything and it just feels like you are in the middle of your own movie.

Dennis Rodman is a role model for finding a niche and becoming the best at it

I actually do think that Dennis Rodman is role model in a weird way in that if you can figure out something that you're the best at, it doesn't matter what weird little niche category it is in life. If there's one thing that you're better than everybody else that are more focused on, steer into that and get well really, really good at that and be known as the best to ever do that and you will be extremely successful.

Michael Jordan's hatred for Isiah Thomas is the strongest he's ever had for anyone

The last grudge I had and it's the best by far, Michael Jordan has never hated anyone as much as he hates Isiah Thomas and it's fucking awesome to watch how much he still holds onto it to this day... MJ just his hatred is so goddamn deep for him and it's fantastic to watch.

The NFL should adopt a hybrid draft format where the first round is live but later rounds are remote

If they can do a blend if they could do a hybrid it would be perfect. I would want the first round live with people in the draftees in the spot... but I agree with you like if we could do rounds 4 through 7 where everyone is remote and you can see into the room like living rooms of all the coaches and GM's that was fascinating.

I am 'Team J' in the Jay Cutler and Kristin Cavallari divorce

I'm team J. I don't know anything, I literally don't know anything, but I'm team J. ... That's my quarterback. Frat bros gotta stick together... I am team J forever and always unless noted he gets arrested for a felony.

Mike Vrabel won the night for best NFL Draft home setup.

Mike Vrabel clearly won the night in his room. He had a guy that looked like a mix between the Waterboy Adam Sandler and Joe Dirt. The other was taking a shit. I believe he's sitting on a Barstool intentionally looking like he's making sure in my professional opinion.

The gap between Tua Tagovailoa and Justin Herbert is massive.

The smoke of Justin Herbert jumping Tua [Tagovailoa] was making me so mad because Tua is so much better than Justin Herbert. No offense, Justin Herbert. He might end up being good but Tua is control good and the gap between Joe Burrow and Tua is miniscule. The gap between Tua and Justin Herbert is massive.

Mike McCarthy always looks like he's having an allergic reaction to shellfish.

Mike McCarthy always looks like he's having a reaction to shellfish. Yeah, it's like swelling up a little bit. Yes, a little like but got stung by maybe like three or four bees.

Dasani is the worst bottled water in the world.

My first one I'm going to go straight forward and say Dasani. Dasani water is trash, all of it, it's the world's worst water. It just tastes like shit.

Tom Brady and Rob Gronkowski will not retire as Buccaneers

Do you think Tom Brady and Gronk will retire as Buccaneers when they go into Canton? No, I think it might if they win a Super Bowl, but there's definitely like a one side of me and it makes sense like Gronk was retired... There's another part of me where it's like, how is Tom Brady and Rob Gronkowski playing [NFL] and not on the Patriots?

Bill Belichick is cold-blooded and will always choose assets over personal beef

Belichick is the most likely [to make the Gronk trade]. He's like, oh I get a free asset. Most other coaches would be like no. I'm going to let my personal beef standing between me and making the right choice. Belichick is so cold blooded. He'll just be like, yes, I will get something for nothing.

Tua Tagovailoa's draft slide is legitimate due to injury uncertainty

I kind of buy it [the Tua slide] because of the way the draft is this year. You can't bring him into your building. You can't check him out... he went through the nine-minute 22 second [workout] thing and I think that convinced a lot of people's fears, but the really weird part about this guy is it's Miami. Miami refused to clear Drew Brees because they didn't think his shoulder was strong enough.

Henry Ruggs is more than just a straight-line speed receiver

I love Henry Ruggs. He has 98 catches at Alabama, 24 went for touchdowns... but he's not just a one-trick pony like normally straight-line speed guys like John Ross... he runs the routes. He only had one drop.

I'm afraid of being the person walking past a musician in a viral video

My first one is being in a viral video of musicians on the subway... every time I see a musician in the subway, I'll just stand there for at least like 30 seconds. Just so I'm not one of the people in the video where it's like look at this guy, Paul McCartney playing and you just went right by.

I'm afraid the entire world is just a Matrix simulation

I'm afraid that this entire world like us sitting here right now is just an imagination of one huge species... every now and then I'm like, we're definitely in The Matrix and none of this is real. None of it. The last year has been very strong evidence.

Jerry Krause deserves credit for the Bulls dynasty but his ego was a detriment

Krauss deserved more credit than he got but wanted more credit than he deserved. So he's constantly stuck in that spot where he is like I should be getting more credit and he probably in a weird way should but he wanted so much credit that it then became a detriment and a galvanizing force for those Bulls teams to be like, fuck you dude.

Anchovies are actually delicious and only hated because of Ninja Turtles propaganda

Anchovies are not that bad. They only get a bad rap because of cartoons. You were told from a young age [by] the Ninja Turtles... That's actually not at all what anchovies are. They are delicious. They just taste like salt... There's been a tremendous propaganda effort against anchovies and sardines for most of my adult life.

Animal style fries at In-N-Out are wildly overrated

Animal style sauce on fries at In-N-Out. I think it's wildly overrated. I really do. Animal sauce on the burger... that adds something. Animal sauce on fries just becomes disgusting and you're like what are we doing eating a bunch of soggy fries? It's a cool hipster thing to do.

College football is the one sport where fans matter the most

College football is the one sport where I think fans matter the most. Yes, we need we need football in the fall. So hopefully NFL I can watch NFL games without fans and I could bring myself to do that. But if we got Springs football on the other side then boom.

The ESPN horse competition was a complete failure

I'm so happy that I was adamant when they announce that horse was coming out and I said this is going to suck and everyone was like no it's sports or need supports. This sucks... The fact they put it on TV it ruined it.

The Bills traded the 22nd pick for Stefon Diggs because he is a proven veteran

We traded it for Diggs who we just we thought at the end of the day that what we could get at 22 wasn't going to be the player that Diggs is... Especially in light of what's going on around our country. We don't even know what kind of offseason we're going to have. So to be able to get a veteran versus School in a rookie up. We just thought made the most sense this year.

Cam Newton deserves another chance and will have a chip on his shoulder

Cam's a guy route for I think he deserves another chance... I know how he's wired if he feels doubted and I think he's in a strong spot, you know, when he's doubted he's going to try and prove people wrong.

South Dakota is the most unremarkable state in America

The most unremarkable State I don't even know if we have a listener here. If we do have a listener here tweet us. We'd love to hear from the listeners in the great state of South Dakota. who the fuck cares

Mississippi is a miserable place and a no-brainer for Mount Flushmore

An absolute no-brainer a few years ago. I did a a college tour... every state had a great time in pretty much all of them. The only one that was a bad time. Just a miserable place to be Mississippi. Oh, wow.