Takes

The Astros' sign-stealing is blatant cheating and disgusting

The Astros have been cheating and cheating a lot... it's blatant cheating. There's I like baseball when there is like a little He's been ship a little this little that... but this seems like they were actually using high like high-tech cameras in the Outfield yet relaying it to The Dugout and real time... which is so blatant lie cheat ice gusting.

The Astros scandal makes the Nationals' 2019 World Series win more impressive

This makes the Nationals world series title even more impressive. Yeah the fact that they were able to beat him. While they're eating Cheetos... 60% of the Astros runs were scored in the first inning before the Nationals would change how they were doing their signs.

Freddie Kitchens is a legitimately 'dumb, dumb person'

Do you think Freddie just outsmarts himself all the time? No, I think he's legitimately a dumb, dumb person.

The Lions should realistically be over .500

And the Lions got fucked over by the refs twice. They should realistically be over .500.

Brian Flores should be in the Coach of the Year conversation over Frank Reich

I think Brian Flores should be mentioned before Frank Reich in Coach of the Year conversations. [Big Cat: For winning with a tanking team.] Yes. He does more with less.

The most important people to recruit in a living room are the mom and grandma

It's mom and grandma. There's no doubt about that now... They want to know the man in charge, is he going to make sure that he's in good hands?

Smart and tough players play in the NFL for a long time

Smart guy, tough guy. Smart guys, tough guys generally can play football for a long time.

The Buffalo Bills are fraudulent because their run defense is weak

Buffalo... you can run on that defense. So I'm going to be interested to see this weekend if the Cleveland Browns can help support Baker Mayfield by running the football a little bit on the Buffalo Bills defense.

The Steelers offense has no confidence in Mason Rudolph

They came out with the wildcat... to me that speaks of we don't have a lot of confidence in this guy... they spent our time teaching our running backs to throw the football in this Wildcat grouping... the team doesn't have a lot of confidence in him.

NFL coaches who challenge pass interference are fucking morons

If you're a coach and you challenge pass interference you are a fucking moron. All that the rule has done is just figured out which coaches were dumb and it's given more time for advertisements for the NFL.

Daniel Jones is just a slightly shittier update of the Eli Manning model

Daniel Jones, who is he really is Eli Manning if Eli Manning like he just a little bit shittier version. They updated the model and he has the same type of fumbles interceptions. He can run a little bit.

The word 'Boomer' has jumped the shark

Boomer just the word Boomer has invaded like meme and American culture to a point where like I'm sick of it. It's kind of jumped the shark a little bit. But now it's at one of those things where it's like so mainstream it's like harambee after like two months where I was funny in the beginning.

Angela Duckworth is just monetizing the fact that untalented people are too dumb to quit

I saw who wrote the study and it was Angela Duckworth Who is the lady that wrote the grit book. She is grit exploitation. She is the big grit industrial complex. Most of us out there learn to appreciate grit because we had to because we lack talent and sports... we're also dumb enough to not quit. So therefore that's a good quality and I'm going to call it grit and she comes along and she's trying to make money off it.

If you are threatening to fight someone on Twitter, you must give your home address, not the team facility

My problem with what [Jermaine Whitehead] did. Not that he threatened people... My problem is he said meet me at this address and then gave the facility address. If you tell someone to meet you somewhere. It has to be your house, right? Man up.

The Patriots beat themselves more than the Ravens beat them

I think the Ravens played a good game. I think Lamar Jackson is very good. But I think the Patriots beat themselves more than the Ravens beat them... turnovers will bounce their way, but it looks like the Patriots fucked themselves today with too many penalties and too many turnovers.

The Jaguars must start Nick Foles over Gardner Minshew

I think this is a no-brainer. You have to start Nick Foles. And that's not saying Gardner Minshew isn't a quarterback in the NFL going forward, but you have money invested in Nick Foles... Gardner Minshew basically made it so either he plays so well that it's a no-doubter or he shits the bed right before Nick Foles came back. And guess what? He shit the bed.

Kirk Cousins is the quarterback you'd least want in the fourth quarter

If you had to ask yourself starting quarterbacks, who is the guy that you would at least want to have the ball in the fourth quarter to bring a team back to win? I actually think it's Kirk Cousins... He had the ball twice at the end of the game [against the Chiefs], three and out, three and out, and not even close.

Matt Nagy needs to stop calling plays for the Bears

Matt Nagy needs to stop calling football games. He needs to hand over the play calling. It's not for him. It's not working. I like everything is broken. It's not working to do the same thing week in week out is fucking insane.

Russell Wilson is the #1 quarterback you want in a 4th-quarter comeback

I think Russell Wilson is number one now in the NFL. He is the guy who, if you're down in the fourth, you want him to have the ball... He had five touchdowns today. I think that was his fifth comeback fourth-quarter comeback this season.

The Browns should fire Freddie Kitchens

Freddie Kitchens is an absolute joke of a head coach. What do you do if you're the Browns? Freddie's got to be one and done. He is in way over his head. You just need to demote him and tell him he still has his job and he's just the offensive coordinator.

The Nate Diaz vs. Jorge Masvidal fight was stopped too early

They called the fucking fight early... Nate Diaz is the type of guy that I actually like his chances the more he gets the shit kicked out of him in the first three rounds. It wakes him up a little bit. The little nerdy doctor was like, 'No, this guy can't fight,' where Nate Diaz was like, 'No, I have not yet begun to fight.'

Max Scherzer is the pitcher of the decade over Clayton Kershaw

Does this mean that Max Scherzer is the picture of the decade? ... everyone says Clayton Kershaw is the picture of the decade now Max Scherzer has a World Series. He has just click resize Young's his 3 Cy Young's... I would say picture of the decade Max Scherzer.

The World Series trophy is the worst of the four major sports trophies

Where does World Series trophy Sam Smith? Yes agreed. It sucks. Something's going to break a tiny pieces of chicken meat on it's awful... It looks like the World Series trophy was built just to break it.

Joel Embiid is the most beloved athlete in a city that hasn't won a title

I joined them bead. I threw this out there earlier. But like is there a city that loves a player more than Joel embiid is loved in Philly. ... he is Philly at this point... other than just being wildly out of shape every spring and them not being get out of second round. I don't think you can do know he can do any wrong in Philadelphia.

I would root for Vermont over Syracuse if they played in the tournament

I didn't grow up a Syracuse fan. So but now that you know that now I know people ask me all the time if they play each other in this year's tournament. I would root for Vermont because wow.

Dave Martinez's ejection in Game 6 was a legendary move and good for the team

The hero of the night is Dave Martinez. Trying to fight an Umpire with a bad ticker... he went full fucking aggro rageaholic on the omps and I loved every second of it. That's a manager who you want to play for.

NFL passing stats are currently meaningless because the era makes them so easy to manipulate

NFL passing stats are so funny. Tom Brady and Andy Dalton played in the same era, but because it was even like, you know, ten years ago, you can manipulate the stats through age 32, it's ridiculous. NFL passing stats are so fucking funny to look at whoever comes after this. We'll beat everyone before it.

DeColdest Crawford is the coolest name in the history of college football

The LSU Tigers signed a wide receiver named DeColdest Crawford. Yes. So DeColdest is making his way to Baton Rouge probably the coolest name. If not in the history of college football definitely in the history of Louisiana state.

Kyrie Irving and Kevin Durant's relationship is a Jay and Silent Bob dynamic

I kind of like that Dynamic though. It's a little Jay and Silent Bob ish, right? So you've got Kyrie that never says anything and then you got Kevin Durant that just says everything, right? Yeah, I'm fine with that. Yeah. This is sounds like it's going to be a good buddy cop type thing.

I would take over and coach US Soccer

I will take over US Soccer. I would be the coach of US Soccer... You automatically get to drive an Audi. That's part of the deal... I would like that.

Andy Reid doesn't understand how time works

[Andy Reid] has been one of the best coaches of all time. It's remarkable and his coaching tree all that. He does not know how time works. He doesn't know what a clock is. Like we said, he measures time in units of meat.

Matt Stafford deserves to be on the MVP shortlist

Matt Stafford is going to start getting some MVP buzz. Have you looked at Matt Stafford's year? He has been phenomenal. 16 touchdowns for interceptions. He is passing the ball deep and not making like the classic Matt Stafford mistakes... He should be on the 5 [finalists].

The Nationals aren't cursed, I just helped grow the game by popping 'official World Series beer'

I did not curse anybody... I popped a year-old Series beer. It was champagne. And I was asked to by Major League Baseball and I want to help grow the game... I've had a full day where I felt like I won the World Series... what is this for the Washington Nationals 2019 World Series champions for a day.

The Washington Nationals are a team of destiny

The Washington Nationals. We said it on Wednesday. It rings true today. They are a team of destiny. Big time.

Playing Patrick Mahomes against the Packers would be Andy Reid's dumbest decision

If Andy Reid plays Patrick Mahomes, this will go down as the dumbest decision that he's ever made in a career that's been largely defined by singular dumb decisions that he's made during games.

Hiring David Ross to manage the Cubs is a great idea

My stardom is David Ross. When would it ever be a bad idea to hire everyone's best friend to be the manager and boss? That's not going to be bad at all.

The Washington Redskins should change their name

I'm especially scarred over the last two decades of Daniel Snyder's ownership of the Washington Redskins. I think the Washington Redskins should change their name.

Matt Nagy is cracking and losing his mind as the Bears head coach

My hot seat is Matt Nagy. He's cracking. He's losing his mind. He had the Bears throwing egg toss in practice. That screams like, 'Hey, I'm just trying to do one of those fun games that you do in training camp,' but it's the middle of the season. And yikes. He also told all the players to stay off Twitter.

Jeremy Pruitt's facemask grab was a 'showboating' move

This is why you want Greg Schiano coaching your team and not Pruitt. My problem was he didn't use it as a teachable moment. He looked away. It was a showboating facemask grab. It was the Patrick Mahomes of grabbing your guy by the facemask. At least make eye contact and teach him something.

A secret Twitter burner is a healthy way for a sports fan to burn off steam

I think this is actually the healthiest way that a sports fan can burn off some steam. He's found a very normal outlet to be an immature sports fan, which is redundant because we all are. So just let him live.

The Philadelphia Eagles might be done

The Eagles might be done... they stink... I thought the Eagles were going to win straight to me too. But their defense is atrocious.

Kirk Cousins is all the way back

Kirk Cousins is all the way back... I put the done chain on them after it... I would like to apologize to Vikings fans and to Kirk Cousins.

Pat Shurmur is a terrible coach and should be fired

I think [Pat Shurmur] is a terrible, terrible head coach and I think he should be fired... Eli Manning was essentially like a body shield for Pat Shurmur... Daniel Jones seems to be pretty good, you have Saquon Barkley, you had [Evan] Engram back, Golden Tate and you stink.

The Baltimore Ravens are not frauds

Hand up, the Baltimore Ravens are not frauds... That was an impressive win, an impressive road win... they are real.

The Chicago Bears are destined to never have a franchise quarterback

The Bears are destined to never have a franchise quarterback. It will never ever happen. It will never happen. The fact that we had DeShaun Watson and Patrick Mahomes in that draft class, it will never happen. It is destined. It is preordained.

Joe Flacco's body language is the most concerning thing about the Broncos offense

The most concerning thing about Joe Flacco tonight was his body language overall. He has a face that he looks like he's always looking for his car in a big parking lot... He looks like he knows that his body is not capable of doing anything anymore.

The Astros are better than the Yankees in every facet: rotation, lineup, and relievers

As a scout, I am afraid of the Houston Astros. I will say it, I'm afraid. Their rotation is just as good as the Nationals and their lineup is better and their relievers are better.

Pete Carroll is the number one 'Dap' coach in the NFL

Number one dap coach would be, I think it's Pete Carroll... I don't think he's ever missed when he's like that.

LeBron James only defended China to protect his Space Jam 2 ticket sales

LeBron is so transparent that he only wanted to say nice things about China because he wants to sell his stupid movie Space Jam 2. Space Jam 1 is better.

Only the reigning World Series champions should be allowed to wear pinstripes

Pinstripes have become too prominent in baseball. Nine teams wear pinstripes and it sucks... Only the team that wins the World Series gets pinstripes for the entire next year. You have to beat the man to be the man and get the stripes.