Takes

Dolphins fans are insufferable and it would be funny to see them lose the AFC East

Dolphins fans are annoyingly cocky and Bills fans... I feel more of a connection to... Dolphins fans are insufferable. Like they're super annoying. They're super cocky. They haven't won shit. And seeing them blow a season and somehow lose the AFC East would be funny.

The Bills will beat the Cowboys

The Cowboys are a completely different team away from home. I like the Bills. What's the line in this game? One and a half... I like the Bills.

It is more important for NFL teams to maintain rhythm by playing starters late in the season than it is to rest them

I think playing is the most important. I think what I learned throughout was timing and rhythm matter... so many times I thought we had the better team, but not playing up to those points, you got back out there, you kinda had to find the rhythm... I was much more about playing.

Derek Carr is hurting the Saints by playing at 80% while significantly injured

If you're not playing to the level that we need you to play to, you are hurting us... the game is played in the margins and there's too many good players, right? It's just too many dudes who are that good at 70, 80%. Man, you just ain't cutting it... When you're seeing guys at each other in repeated weeks, that's when you know something's really there.

Eric Bieniemy's absence is a major reason for the Chiefs' offensive struggles and lack of discipline

The enemy not being there, it matters. I'm not saying that Andy Reed and these guys aren't great coaches, but Bieniemy had some nastiness about him, right? He had some significant conversations with their players, whether that's Mahomes or other people. And with him not being there, it does get into a place where maybe some things have been allowed or tolerated to a different degree... I do think the enemy not being there hurts because those players in the room are ultimately the guys who have to execute it.

The Eagles will "get right" and fix their issues over their final four regular season games

I said this on TV the other day, man, it drives me cra... like we've written the Eagles off really? They had two bad weeks. San Fran lost three in a row. These players can fix it. And, and I, I think the Eagles over these next four, you know, get right games, we'll get right and figure this thing out.

If I were on an NFL field, I would put 290-pound Miles Garrett on his ass

Imagine this, I tell people all the time, go, go for your job. Go line up and go block Miles Garrett and tell me you're not gonna try to back up as fast as you can. [PFT]: I'd put him on his ass. I go forward not backward.

The Super Bowl will be a matchup between the 49ers and the Ravens

I'm gonna go... I think it's gonna be KC in Baltimore and the AFC, I think Baltimore's gonna go... and I think San Fran... I'm taking San Fran and Phi... I'm taking San Fran walking through it to play [the winner of the AFC].

Deebo Samuel is the most valuable player on the 49ers

I think Deebo Samuel... I think he's an MVP, right? Because if you see the way he plays and like look at their team when he's not on the field, it's as, it's as reflective as Tyreek Hill. Like this dude is, he is a freaking grown man, bro. And he is about it in all phases.

Roger Goodell will eventually implement two Monday Night Football games every single week

I'm calling it in the future, it might not be next year, might not be the year after Goodell's gonna want to try to get two Monday night football games. And the fact that these two games [Giants/Packers and Titans/Dolphins] were so good, it's gonna make him think like this was the best idea of all time.

The Bears must beat the Browns to realistically consider themselves a playoff contender

They have to beat the Browns. If they don't beat the Browns, then it's just like, this is all, this is all, but if they beat the Browns, then I'm gonna start thinking about playoffs. But it has to, you have to get through that hurdle. And the Browns are really good to get to a point where I can start realistically, like I'm having fun with 'in the hunt.' I'm not actually thinking playoffs right now.

The Philadelphia Eagles are actually frauds

Are the Eagles frauds? Are the Eagles frauds? [Max: No.] Are the Eagles frauds? [Max: Yes, like you guys like set this whole thing up.]

Tyreek Hill is the most important player on the Dolphins and should be the NFL MVP

I do consider myself part of TuAnon, but saying Tyreek Hill is the MVP does not diminish Tua. I think Tua is a very good quarterback when Tyreek Hill is on the field... He looked to me like he's the most important player on the Dolphins and he probably should be considered MVP.

The NFL will not ban the hip-drop tackle

If we ban this tackle, which I don't think they will... [PFT:] I don't think they will. But there's enough people out there talking about [it].

Patrick Mahomes is the greatest quarterback to ever play the game

I think [Mahomes] is the best quarterback to ever play the game. [Big Cat: Besides Tom Brady?] My beloved Tom Brady, the fucking goat. It's disgusting anybody ever mentions him in the same breath. It's Tom Brady... But Mahomes is the best quarterback in the NFL fact.

The Bills will make the playoffs in 2023

I'd like to officially revise my AFC take. I'm gonna put Bills in. I'm gonna put Bills in over the Colts.

Shohei Ohtani's contract is actually a natural progression from Aaron Judge's, valued around $460 million in real dollars

This is a 450-460 million dollar contract because of inflation and interest... If you actually think about it, this is a natural progression of contracts. Shohei Ohtani signed for 10 years, 460 million. That's a natural progression from Aaron Judge's nine for 360.

Reports that Bill Belichick will leave the Patriots after the season are fake news

Tom Curran... said that at the end of the year, the Patriots and Belichick are probably gonna part ways... I'm just gonna go with the fact that it's a report and it's not true. It might be fake news. I'm hoping it's fake. I'm in the denial stage right now.

Any NBA team that loses 20 games in a row should fire and cut everyone in the organization

20 losses in a row is insane... If you get over 15 in a row, it's fire everyone. You can't do 20 in a row. No. You have to fire everyone. I don't know if you can legally fire everyone, but like I'm saying, cut everyone, fire everyone, do everything. 20 in a row. That's bad.

Billy Football will be fired if the Uganda football team fails to score a touchdown in their rematch against Kenya

Billy will be fired if he comes back and... they scored no touchdowns once. Billy will be fired if they don't score a touchdown. That's, it's not even that they don't score... if they come back and they lose 40 to three Billy's fired, they have to get a touchdown.

The Broncos will beat the Lions because Russell Wilson will have 'baby bump' luck from his new child

Next on [the Lions] schedule is the Denver Broncos and Russell Wilson has the baby bump. [Big Cat:] Yep, yep, yep. He had a baby. [Jake:] Yes. So that's Saturday night.

The Baltimore Ravens are the best team in the AFC

I do think they're the best team in the AFC. I still believe in Lamar. I still think the defense, even though Stafford shredded us... objectively, I still feel good.

Only All-Pro players should be allowed to wear number zero in the NFL

To wear number zero, you have to be the best guy on your team. There's gotta be a rule where it's like to have a weird number, you have to be awesome. [Big Cat: Pro Bowl?] All-pro. Zero is All-pro.

All Pro Edge Rushers should wear numbers in the 90s, not single digits

Fucking edge rushers need to be wearing nineties. Or if you're really fucking cool, maybe a 50... It's fucking weird. It looks like college football and I hate that.

I can throw a football over 70 yards

How far can you throw a football? [Jayden Daniels:] Honestly? Probably over 70... on a good day.

The Bears should sign Tommy DeVito

I'm Tommy DeVito. I'm the Packer Slayer. The Bears should actually sign Tommy DeVito. [PFT Commenter:] Every team should be so lucky to sign Tommy DeVito.

Winter officially begins the day after Thanksgiving

Winner starts the day after Thanksgiving. [Big Cat: You don't think December's winter?] What? No, because you, it's festive... [PFT:] I think that Christmas is a winter holiday. It is. It's a winter wonderland. Yeah.

'Bad winter' starts on January 2nd and lasts until March Madness begins

I think winter starts the day after January 1st... Winter is like when it sucks... When I think winter, I think January 2nd to March Madness. That's like when it sucks.

Puka Nacua's diving catch against the Ravens is the catch of the year so far

That one diving catch that [Puka Nacua] had. I'm putting that, that's my catch of the year so far. Wow. When you take into account everything around it with the weather and the stage and who it was against.

The Ravens are currently the best team in the AFC

I believe in the Ravens. I think the Ravens are the best team in the AFC.

Sean McVay might be doing his best coaching job yet with the current Rams roster

It feels like we should do the conversation that this might be Sean McVay's best coaching job because it is a group that is not star-studded. It's not like the Super Bowl team. Their defense is a lot of young guys and Aaron Donald, and their offense—I mean, Puka [Nacua] is what, a fifth rounder? And just in Kyron Williams. Sean McVay just schemes everyone open and has an offense work that is incredible.

I don't want to see the Vikings or Seahawks in the playoffs because they lack a higher gear

I do wanna see the Rams in the playoffs... enjoyment of the playoffs. Like first round matchups. The Rams are a team that I wouldn't mind watching play more football. I don't really wanna see the Vikings or the Seahawks play more football because I feel like the Rams have just a different gear. [Matthew] Stafford could beat anyone if he's on his A+ game.

Joe Flacco is Baldinger's cat — both elite and not elite at the same time, and the debate always ends with 'but so did Trent Dilfer'

I call him Baldinger's cat because he's both elite and not elite at the same time. And he makes everybody furious depending on what your take on Joe Flacco is. And here's how the conversation always goes. Is Joe Flacco elite? Yes. Why? He won a Super Bowl. So did Trent Dilfer. And that's the end of that conversation.

The Jaguars are a smoke and mirrors team

The Jaguars feel like they're smoke and mirrors team. And it's starting to, we're starting to kind of get through the fog and we're like, 'Hey, wait a second. Why did we anoint the Jaguars?'

I'm officially done with watching Desmond Ridder play football

I'm so sick of watching Desmond Ridder play football. I know he played well in the fourth quarter... but the interception, the fumble in the end zone, the missed pass to Bijon [Robinson] where it was a walk-in touchdown and he missed him. I'm just kind of done with watching him play football. We've had enough.

I want the Bears to draft Caleb Williams and move on from Justin Fields

I think they're gonna take Caleb Williams, which I'm all for. ... I don't think I want Justin Fields back.

Dak Prescott is the frontrunner for MVP with serious momentum

Dak looks really good. I think Dak, MVP. ... Dak MVP feels like it's got some momentum now.

Zach Wilson is the perfect backup quarterback but can't play a full season

I think he's not good, but I think he's just the perfect backup quarterback where a guy goes down, he goes in, gives you a spark and that's it. ... Can't play a full season.

The Texans will be everyone's sleeper team next offseason

I'm wanna make a prediction going into this offseason. Texans are gonna be everybody—they're gonna say like the sleeper team. The team that people think that you're not smart enough to pick for next season. It's gonna be the Texans this year.

It might be over for Josh Dobbs as a viable NFL starter

Josh Dobbs, he's learned too much. He knows too much of the offense. He's back to being Josh Dobbs. I wish they had pulled the plug like a week earlier so that we could still have good memories. Because this was like when Nick Mullens has to come in and save the day. It might be over for Josh Dobbs.

The 49ers at their best are better than any team in football

I would say the 49ers at their best are better than any team in football. Yes. At their best. They can't be beat.

Trent Williams should be in the conversation for NFL MVP

Trent Williams should be in the conversation for MVP. When the 49ers have had Deebo Samuel and Trent Williams and everyone else, they have not lost. They are a juggernaut in every sense of the word.

I wouldn't be shocked if the Seahawks beat the Eagles next week

That being said, I wouldn't be shocked if [the Seahawks] beat the Eagles [next Monday night]. Everyone could beat the Eagles right now.

The Broncos can still win the AFC West

The Broncos can still win the AFC West. If Mike Pence has the courage. They're one game out. ... There's a world where they only lose one of the remaining games.

The Chiefs are broken offensively

The Chiefs are broken offensively. Outside of Rashee Rice, they just drop balls and fumble balls and they just—the Chiefs are broken offensively.

The Chiefs are better off with Kadarius Tony not being on the field

I think you just need to realize that Kadarius Tony is maybe, probably definitely better off not being on the field. Although he did score the touchdown from Travis Kelce that's gonna be in the Hall of Fame.

The Eagles will lose in the first round of the playoffs

My overly direct take of the weekend is that the Eagles are gonna lose the first round of the playoffs. ... I was watching the defense. Defense wins championships. And the Eagles defense doesn't exist.

The Broncos, Bengals, and Bills will all make the playoffs as AFC wild card teams

My overly direct take... is that the Broncos, Bengals and Bills are all outta the playoffs right now. They're all gonna be the wild card teams in the AFC.

Bronny James will win an NBA Finals before the Patriots make the playoffs again

Bronny James will win an NBA finals before the Patriots make the playoffs again.

Every MLB free agent contract is technically an overpay but it doesn't matter without a salary cap

If the roles were reversed, you would be so over the moon about this. And yes, every contract free agent contract in MLB history is an overpay because you're paying for past accomplishments and who cares? There's no salary cap. It's not your money.