Takes

The Clippers will win one playoff series and then get dismantled by the Nuggets in the playoffs.

I can't wait to watch this team win one playoff series, have all of ESPN be like, 'watch out for the Clippers,' and then lose like four to one against the Nuggets.

Tyrese Maxey is currently the best player in the NBA Eastern Conference

Tyrese Maxey is the best player in the Eastern Conference. Fact or fiction? ... hang the banner of the week. Hang, there's only been one week. If the MVP was given out today, he would win it.

The Diamondbacks will beat the Rangers 8-1 in Game 4 of the World Series with Tommy Pham hitting two home runs.

I think it's gonna be eight-one Diamondbacks. Whoa. I think [Tommy] Pham goes yard twice. Whoa. [Evan] Longoria has two hits.

Ohio State should be ranked #1 in the first CFP rankings based on resume

If I had to take a guess, I would think that Ohio State will be one and there'll be Georgia and Michigan in a two three... Ohio state only because they do probably have the best resume on paper with a Penn State win and a Notre Dame Road win.

Oregon is currently the best team in the Pac-12 despite their loss to Washington

I do think Oregon, what they did in Utah on Saturday, like that doesn't happen to Utah. They bullied him. Oregon. It's weird because even though they lost to Washington, they look like they're the best team in that conference right now.

I'm betting the over on Northwestern vs Iowa's historic 29.5 total

The lowest over, under total. Yes. In the history of college football at Wrigley... This is 29 and a half, right? 29 and a half. It's Northwestern Iowa. I think I have to go to this game... I'll bet the over.

Dabo Swinney deserves at least one bad year given the high expectations he's fulfilled at Clemson.

Dabo came, they won more than 10 games seven years in a row, won two national titles. Bad year. I think he deserves at least one bad year.

The San Jose Sharks might be one of the worst teams in modern NHL history

I think the Sharks are really gonna struggle to score goals. It could be one of the worst teams we've ever seen in modern day NHL.

Hockey coaches are the second most important in sports, behind football but ahead of baseball and basketball.

Football's one... let's put hockey number two behind football... I would say baseball's in front of hockey—actually let's put hockey number two... Basketball's the last one.

Phil Kessel has had a better career than Connor McDavid if they both retired today.

I guess Phil Kessel [if he retired today]. But McDavid was more dominant. But if you're looking at a career, I mean, he broke the Ironman streak and has three Stanley Cups and 400 or 500 goals. So Kessel.

The Buffalo Sabres are ending their 13-year playoff drought and I'm officially on the bandwagon.

I'm on the Buffalo Sabres bandwagon. I'd love to see them get in the playoffs this year. They actually have the longest playoff drought streak in pro sports right now... I think the [Sabres] might get in this year.

Brock Bowers is better than Rob Gronkowski and Travis Kelce

I can't believe how good he, like I, I think it could be, he could be better than Kelsey and Gronk... that guy's insane.

The Edmonton Oilers will win the Stanley Cup

I picked the Edmonton Oilers [to win the cup]. The way the season starts, it's obviously not ideal... I pick the Edmonton Oilers.

Macklin Celebrini is going to be the first overall pick and an NHL superstar.

They have a kid named Macklin Celebrini. He's gonna go first... he turned 17 in June or July and he's dominating college hockey already... Macklin Celebrini, what an age... he's defensively very aware... NHL superstar.

Kirk Cousins was on the verge of the MVP conversation before his season-ending injury

The big story from this game was the unfortunate injury to Kirk Cousins, which sucks beyond belief... he also was playing awesome ball. Like he was on the precipice of being in the MVP conversation because the Vikings started to win games... and it all comes crashing down with the Achilles.

The Packers are officially a bad football team

I foolishly thought this was the spot to back the Packers because it was the Vikings off a big win against the Niners. The Packers look terrible. Turns out the Packers are just dog shit... yeah, the Packers are bad. Yeah, they're officially a bad team.

Sam Howell is the franchise quarterback for the Washington Commanders

Sam Howell is the guy. He was amazing today. He might've been the best quarterback in the NFL this entire week... Sam Howell is the fucking guy. He's the most guy ever. Oh, okay. He is the guy. The guy a guy... he's the goddamn motherfucking guy bitch.

The Steelers' recipe for winning ugly games only works if they make plays in the fourth quarter

The Steelers have a recipe with this Steelers team on how to win games. And it's to make it ugly play defense and then have this heroic fourth quarter, like couple balls bounce your way... When the recipe works like three quarters of the way and then it fails in the fourth because [Pickett] got hurt, they just look like a bad football team.

The Dolphins are the Super Bowl favorites

The Dolphins just have so much motion, so much speed. I think the Dolphins are the Super Bowl favorites. I said that a couple weeks ago too.

The Dolphins are officially on 'Fraud Watch' until they beat a real team like the Chiefs

The Dolphins are not frauds. They're on fraud watch. The teams they have beaten are the Chargers, the Patriots twice, the Broncos, the Giants and the Panthers. They have to win a game... against this Chiefs game will be the huge test for them.

The Tennessee Titans should not be allowed to wear Houston Oilers throwback uniforms

The Tennessee Titans should not be allowed to [wear Oilers uniforms]. It's bullshit... They gave up the rights to that when the team moved and they decided to rebrand... The franchise I understand, can move around. It sucks, but it can. But the colors stay.

The Saints will win the NFC South division

Should we put a future on the Saints to win the NFC South?... The coin has them going 11 and six. So that sounds like it would win that division. Let's take a look... I think we might have to take the Saints to win the division.

Zach Wilson is incapable of playing good football in the rain

I think [Zach Wilson] would've played better if it didn't rain. I said it a couple weeks ago. Can't play in the rain. Yeah, that's true. You did say that. You called that he can't play in the rain.

The Seahawks are a legitimate, for-real football team

I think the Seahawks are for real... the Seahawks have actually found themselves in that position where they, they're in first place in the division... I did not see the 49ers losing. They are in first place right now.

Deshaun Watson does not love playing the game of football

A lot of people were having the discourse. Does Deshaun Watson love football? Mm. Does he love, does he love being a football player or does he love playing football? Mm. I love that conversation... I think he just loves being a football player. Big Cat. He loves being paid like a football player... I don't think that he loves football. He doesn't love the grind.

The San Francisco 49ers are officially in trouble

The Niners are in trouble... You can't lose a can't lose... Their defense has been bad the last two weeks... The Niners defense is the issue. Yeah. I don't think Brock pa, he didn't play that poorly today... their defense just stunk.

The Cincinnati Bengals are back and healthy for the season

The Bengals are all the way back. These are the Bengals that If, you were a Bengals fan... This was the Bengals announcing their back because Joe Burrow was outta this world good... He's healthy. And this is what you want from the Bengals.

Justin Fields looks like an asshole for wearing sunglasses on the sideline while the team is losing

I didn't love that Justin Fields is wearing sunglasses on the sideline yet. I did love it. I know this is to makes me sound like an old guy... I don't know if you're, if you're at your job and you're wearing sunglasses, you are a piece of shit... Justin Fields wearing sunglasses and George looks like an asshole. I love Justin Fields. So, I I know. Listen, we've had 'em on the show... If I were standing next to him, I've been like, maybe what? Maybe if we're winning the sunglasses play when you're getting your ass kicked the way we got our ass kicked. Maybe take 'em off.

Francis Ngannou actually won the fight against Tyson Fury

Tyson Fury, they boxed Tyson Fury, Francis Ngannou this weekend... Francis Ngannou also has the, the perfect, he like champion fighters... Split decision. But a lot of people were saying that he won.

Tyson Fury was embarrassingly out of shape for the Ngannou fight

Tyson Fury always looks a little bit outta shape, but he looked so outta shape next to Ngannou. Just like they look like different species... he was the heaviest he's ever been was he? That's what they said. Which bullshit for the announcers to say that.

The Buffalo Bills will finish the season with 11 wins

Maybe this is what the Bills are. Maybe the Bills are just gonna end up being like a 11 win team and they'll look... they'll have at least two more times this season where they look like the worst team in football.

Matt Milano will return from his leg injury in time for the NFL playoffs

I'm gonna say Matt Milano will be back for the playoffs and I've done zero research into it.

Todd Bowles is a creative but poor head coach who bores fans

Todd Bowles, he's boring and not good, which is the worst combination. But he does find creative ways to be bad. Whatever that was at the end of the half. You were was a very creative way to be bad.

Al Michaels is the perfect broadcaster for Thursday Night Football because the games are usually bad

Maybe Al Michaels is the perfect guy for Thursday night football. Yeah. Because like, you don't want to peak too early. No. You want to kind of ease your way into the weekend.

The Jaguars vs. Steelers game is the best matchup of the early Sunday slate

I think the best game is Jaguar Steelers in the noon slate. Jaguar's about to go on their buy, Steelers off a big win. Mike Tomlin is a home dog... it's a terrible towel statement game.

Jalen Warren is a great running back and the Steelers need to give him the ball more

The Steelers are finally realizing that Jalen Warren is really fucking good... give Jalen Warren the ball more. Maybe make Najee Harris like a junior tight end.

The Los Angeles Rams actually stink and were overrated due to a lucky Week 1 win

I have a theory that I would like to throw out there. The Rams stink... Every year there's like one or two teams that have a great week one and it sticks in our head for a while. Maybe too long.

You have to bet on the Packers against the Vikings because Minnesota is coming off a high

The Vikings just beat the Niners on Monday Night Football in front of the world. They're going to play at Lambeau against a very stinky Packers team. You have to bet the Packers.

I am betting the Patriots money line to beat the Dolphins

Are you gonna bid on Money Line? Yes. Have to.

Jalen Hurts' knee injury is a significant concern that is affecting his play

I think that Jalen Hurt's knee is a problem. And he also was asked about it... he said, 'I hope not.' The fact that we're even talking about it is kind of an issue. I just, he's throwing a lot of picks. Fumbles. The knee.

Tyrod Taylor is a better quarterback than Daniel Jones

Tyrod Taylor is better than Daniel Jones. It's so crazy how much the giants fuck that up. Like you had Daniel Jones for four years and he was, what the, somewhere between like the 15th and 20th best quarterback.

Arthur Smith is a sneaky genius for limiting Bijan Robinson's touches to keep him fresh

Could Arthur Smith be a sneaky genius? Could he be saying we just spent a lot of money on this first round pick running back. Don't put too many miles on him early in the season. Bijan is gonna look that much faster late in the year.

Bryce Young will play well and the Panthers will win their first game against the Texans

I think Bryce Young's gonna look good today. I think the Panthers might win their first game of the season.

Trent Williams is the most important player on the 49ers offense

I think Trent Williams is [the most important player on the offense] for sure. Christian McCaffrey at 85% without Deebo Samuel and without Trent Williams... things look different.

The Seahawks defense is genuinely elite and for real

I do believe in the Seahawks defense. I feel like they are, they're for real. They're, I'm gonna say it, really good Seahawks defense for real.

Andy Reid understands the offensive line position as well as any coach in the NFL

Andy Reid understands the offensive line position as well as anybody I've played around. He also gives the keys to the car to Andy Heck... Andy Reid knows that that's the strength of the football team. He talks to the lineman. He knows the lineman better than anybody.

The Chiefs have the best interior offensive line in the league

If we're gonna go group [of interior linemen], I'm gonna go Kansas City. Group is Kansas City. Because you're only as strong as the guy next to you. Tackle the tackle the inside three, they're great.

Offensive line sacks should be timed; after 5 seconds, it's the quarterback's fault

I think after five seconds it should be considered a tackle for loss [instead of a sack]... these dbs are supposed to cover for 10 seconds. That shouldn't be a completion against me.

Sam Howell's historically high sack numbers are due to him not throwing the ball rather than bad offensive line play

The Washington commanders, they are top five in the NFL with time before pressure. Right. Which tells me that Sam Howell is just not fucking throwing the ball.

The Bears must pay cornerback Jalen Johnson his contract extension

Pay Jalen Johnson. Lose the orange sleeves. Pay Jalen Johnson. Yes. Pay Jalen Johnson. I remember Joey, our Cap guy... I said, 'How much does [Jamie Collins] make?' He told me, I said, 'fucking watch this.' ... You sign early and then you get hurt, you're still taken care of.