Takes

Country House skipping the Preakness is a smart move to protect his legacy

If I'm country house, if I'm that horse, I'd probably do the exact same thing. Because you're never going to top that. You are going out completely at the top of your game. You're a Kentucky Derby winner. And why would you ever try to follow that up?

Be wary of any new league that promises more football

As much as we love football, we did warn you. We warned you after the first weekend that as much as we love seeing extra football... We've been hurt before. The XFL did not last very long. Whenever someone promises you more football, just be wary.

The peak of life is age 24 or 25

I'd say like 24. Yeah, 24 is a good age, but yeah, 25, because you can rent a beach house in a car. The age where you don't have, you have not gotten old enough to realize life is meaningless. But you're not young enough to be dreading what life is going to look like.

Urban Meyer's sideline health issues are dramatic acting based on game flow

Urban Meyer... every single time Maryland scored, he looked like he was going to pass out. He was doing the most dramatic things on the sidelines, going to his knees and throwing his headset... And then Ohio State would come down the field and score, and he'd have his hands up, and he'd be like, I'm back, I'm good.

The G-League's $125k offer is a major threat to the NCAA

The G-League has come out and they have said that they are giving a $125,000 contract to players that could be eligible for the one and done and they want to skip college... This is trouble for the NCAA.

Boltman's retirement is the 'official' end of the Chargers in San Diego

And it's like this is the official move of the Chargers to L.A. When Boltman retires and he's like, I'm done. I've been pushed too far. Boltman, these diehard fans that the organization just pushes them a little too far, and they have to announce their retirement.

Hue Jackson jumping in Lake Erie on June 1st is a total cop-out

He waited until June 1st? Kind of a cop-out. That's the biggest cop-out I've ever fucking heard. ... You can't wait until June 1st to jump in a lake.

James Harden didn't just break Wesley Johnson's ankles, he snatched his soul by making the shot

It's so cocky because I think we all agree, if James Harden misses that shot... the soul-taking doesn't take place. It's just an ankle-breaking. When you make the shot, it's a soul snatch. And so James Harden was so cocky and just like, I'm just going to stand here for an extra beat.

The 'shark photo' was the beginning of the end for Jim McElwain at Florida

I'd say it all went south when we all just thought that Jim McElwain was fucking a shark... When you have to hold a press conference saying you did not fuck a shark, that probably means the job's not for you.

Colin Kaepernick clearly should be signed by an NFL team

To start the offseason, I thought the Colin Kaepernick storyline was bullshit. But now it's kind of like, all right, he's clearly – someone's just – like, he should be signed. They signed two backup quarterbacks that I had never heard of.

There should be an alliance of every NFL punter to feed Pat McAfee scoops and cuck Adam Schefter

I hope that this turns into an alliance between every punter in the league and Pat McAfee. So they're all feeding him all the scoops. And he's constantly using his punter connections to cuck Adam Schefter.

Carmelo Anthony's legacy is choosing the most money over winning championships

Thoughts and prayers to the man [Carmelo Anthony] who has taken every single dollar at every turn in his career instead of maybe trying to win a championship... He took the most amount of money to stay in the dumpster fire that is New York. That's kind of your situation, Melo.

Terrell Owens not being in the Hall of Fame is the biggest joke of all time

But seriously, T.O. not being in the Hall of Fame is probably the biggest joke of all time. What is he, second most in reception yards?

Buy New Balance stock now and sell it right before New Year's

I'm going to disagree with you. I think now's the time to buy stock in New Balance because, like we said, the people who are buying New Balance right now aren't going to know that it's racist for a while. So they're going to keep buying, okay? And meanwhile, the neo-Nazis probably weren't buying New Balance already. Now there's going to be a run on New Balance. So it's a short play. You buy New Balance, and then you dump it right before New Year's.

Muhammad Ali and Michael Jordan are the two most popular athletes of all time

I would say Muhammad Ali, most popular athlete of all time. It's probably Muhammad Ali one, Michael Jordan two, and there's not really a third.

Chris Berman's retirement report is a bargaining chip for his next contract

Does Chris Berman not strike you as the type of guy that's going to take a victory lap? He is a victory lap guy through and through. So this wishy-washy back and forth, this was all on purpose... Or what this could be is a bargaining chip. He might be trying to play him for a raise. His contract's up next year. So he's dangling the threat of retirement.