PMT DB
PMT DB
Ryan Whitney on the Stanley Cup Finals and Arian Foster on Guys on Chicks
The Warriors have a 3-2 lead in the NBA Finals and things are getting tense in the studio. Big Cat and PFT are watching the Celtics slowly dismantle themselves while Hank is entering a state of total delusion. After game five, the vibes are shifting toward Golden State, but Hank is convinced that the Celtics simply haven't reached the "backs against the wall" portion of their procrastination schedule yet.
HankThe Celtics will still win the NBA Finals because they perform best when their backs are against the wall
I still think [the Celtics] are going to win the series. I do think that the last 10 minutes of game four and five, there was just some infuriating plays... But I do think that it's very relatable of the Celtics to just put everything off until the end... They're procrastinating. And then when their backs are against the wall, that's when they perform the best.
Big Cat isn't quite as sold on the historic greatness of this matchup. He argued that while both teams are clearly the best in the league right now, they might just be the kings of a mid-era rather than all-time titans.
Big CatNeither the Warriors nor the Celtics are truly great teams compared to historical NBA champions
Is there a chance that neither of these teams are that great? I keep thinking that one team's going to assert themselves one or the other. And it's like, both these teams are very good. I'm saying neither of these teams are like, great... whoever wins this, I'm not going to walk away and be like, that team was one of the best championship teams I've ever seen.
This led to an unhinged debate about how modern teams would handle the 90s era. Hank, ever the advocate for modern athleticism, thinks the guys wearing short shorts in the Jordan era wouldn't be able to keep up with the constant motion of the modern game.
HankNBA teams from the 1990s would be killed by the Warriors because they didn't do cardio
Any team from the nineties that had to deal with the fucking pick and rolls and like the movement that the Warriors do, like they would die. NBA players didn't run. They didn't do cardio in the nineties. They would be killed on the court.
While the Celtics have struggled with turnovers and fourth-quarter execution, Big Cat pointed out that their ceiling is still higher if they can actually play a clean game. The X-factor remains the health and impact of their big man in the middle, who seems to change the geometry of the court every time he's out there.
Big CatRobert Williams III is the most impactful player on the Celtics
Robert Williams is by far the best player on the Celtics. You can see it too, when he's on the court. The difference, the respect that the Warriors show him by not driving the lane and attacking the rim versus when he's off the court.
The Whit Dog Returns
Ryan Whitney joined the show to recap his legitimate international incident at the Toronto airport. After being held hostage by Canadian travel logistics for what felt like weeks, Whit is back and ready to talk Stanley Cup Finals. He is firmly in the corner of the Tampa Bay Lightning, mostly because betting against their man in the crease feels like a death wish.
Ryan WhitneyThe Lightning will win the Stanley Cup because Andrei Vasilevskiy is the best goalie in the world
I lean towards goaltending. It's like having the number one ACE pitcher. It's like having the best quarterback, having the goal, the goalie that is the best in the world. It's like, how am I going to pick against that? I've honestly also said I will not pick against tip until they lose. I picked him to win the past two Stanley cups.
Whit and the guys broke down the matchup against Colorado, specifically the freakish nature of Cale Makar. As a former defenseman himself, Whit is in awe of Makar's skating and hip mobility, claiming the kid is a generational talent who is basically playing a different sport than everyone else.
Ryan WhitneyCale Makar is a generational talent who could play forward in the NHL if he wanted to
I swear to God he could be a forward in the league. Like he could, if you put them up front, he could probably play wing and be fine and get fricking 80 points. Like he does defensively. So it's just a player, like a generational type talent who I love watching.
If the Lightning manage to pull this off and secure the three-peat, Whit is ready to put them in the pantheon of the greatest sports dynasties we've ever seen. The salary cap era parity makes what Tampa is doing feel almost impossible compared to the old-school dynasties.
Ryan WhitneyThe Tampa Bay Lightning are top-three all-time NHL dynasties if they win a third straight Cup
With the parody in today and the salary cap, I have to put them top three greatest teams of all time. And people will say that's such recency bias, but not 32 teams in the league back then.
Hot Seat Cool Throne
Hot Seat Cool Throne covered everything from Brooks and Bryson's different approaches to the LIV Golf questions to the Washington Commanders keeping a copy of the First Amendment on their desks. Hank took a massive swing at Little Caesars after they were announced as the official pizza of the NFL.
HankLittle Caesars pizza is trash and barely counts as pizza
Little Caesars is trash. It is trash. People forget... Caesars are just trash. It's like not pizza.
Meanwhile, Billy Football is fully bought into the hype coming out of Jets camp. He’s tracking every throw from Zach Wilson and thinks the second-year QB is primed for a massive jump.
Billy FootballZach Wilson is looking extra crispy in Jets training camp
Cool throne, Zach Wilson has been having great training camp. He went for nine 11 on 11 drills. So we're saying that he's looking extra crispy in camp. It's a pretty serious.
Guys on Chicks with Arian Foster
To wrap up the show, Arian Foster sat in for a legendary session of Guys on Chicks. The advice ranged from wedding planning during football season to the proper etiquette of naming pets after professional athletes. Arian has a very strict set of criteria for when a player's name is worthy of a dog's collar.
Arian FosterNever name a dog after a sports figure who hasn't already secured a Hall of Fame legacy
Never name your dogs after sports figures that aren't Hall of Famers... maybe don't name him after a player unless he's been at least two or three All-Star games. That's a good little rule of thumb.
Things got surprisingly medical when a listener wrote in about a boyfriend with some questionable bathroom habits. Arian didn't hesitate to offer a technical solution rooted in human biology and the evolution of how we get things moving.
Arian FosterThe Squatty Potty is the medically superior way to defecate because of human evolution
I got it, bro. I got it. Okay. This is not a plug, but a Squatty potty... We sit regular, right? And that messes up our bowel movements. Right? So if he's leaning for a while... it could be coming out the wrong angle, but the Squatty potty lifts your knees to your chest. And the angles is downward. That's how we evolved to actually defecate.
Just remember, if your boyfriend starts calling your feet "dogs," make sure to ask him what breed they are before you get offended.
