The Home Run Derby has become way too complicated with clocks and Statcast data

The only reason I care about [the Home Run Derby rules] is because they took what was quite literally the simplest competition in sports, which is hit ball over fence... and then they put a clock in it. They added extra time based on a Statcast. They started measuring exit velocity. Timeouts should never be incorporated into the Home Run Derby. It's a very simple process.

Shohei Ohtani needs to get out of the first round for the fans

Shohei Ohtani though, like, come on, we all turned in for you. And that was, he was ripping doubles and that's about it. Like I know he went to the extra time, but like, come on, man. You have to get out of the first round for the people.

Big Ben's year 18 diet is just a relatable attempt to outrun aging

I likened it to, after a long weekend of drinking and eating terrible food. And you say to yourself, you know what, I'm going to eat a salad on Monday. Everything will I'll maybe do 20 pushups. Wow. I'm back. That's what Big Ben is doing as a career where he spent 17 years eating PF Chang and doing whatever he wants. And then year 18. He's like, why is Tom Brady playing still? Oh, because he eats healthy. You know what, honey, get me a vegetable.

Technically Vanny Woodhead does not exist and is legally destroyed

Technically it's destroyed. Legally it's chopped up. But I kind of, I couldn't, I didn't have the heart to chop it up, so I just been keeping it. No, one [owns it]. The, it's technically like scrap. It's a ghost car. It just hasn't been scrapped.

Zach Wilson's ceiling is literally Patrick Mahomes

Come on, Zach Wilson, his ceiling is literally Patrick Mahomes. That's a fact. If he plays to the best of his ability.

Al-Qaeda is the only one who could have written the Monday Night Football script

Running out with the flag... hard knocks... there was so much hope and hype. And, you know, talking about the NFL script, the only one who could have written that script is Al-Qaeda.