The Dallas Cowboys are going to win the Super Bowl this year

I can't see a world that Dallas don't win at least 15 games and CD Lamb should be a first rounder and Amari Cooper should be a first rounder and Dak Prescott... should be a first rounder... they are going to win the Super Bowl.

A head coach finding out their star quarterback is injured is the most devastating news possible

I need every head coach to be miked up when they get that type of news, because it is absolutely devastating. It's like stuff... I'm talking, you could tell them their family just got kidnapped and they'd be like, all right, well, we'll figure out after practice, but [the trainer] walking up being like, 'Hey, it's a muscular thing. We don't know.'

Micah Parsons looks too small for a linebacker wearing number 11

Michael Parsons wearing number 11. It's going to take a lot of getting used to... I was watching it. I was like, this guy weighs 205 pounds and he's a linebacker. And then I looked up his stats and he's like 6'2" and 250 pounds. The 11 totally screwed me.

Technically Vanny Woodhead does not exist and is legally destroyed

Technically it's destroyed. Legally it's chopped up. But I kind of, I couldn't, I didn't have the heart to chop it up, so I just been keeping it. No, one [owns it]. The, it's technically like scrap. It's a ghost car. It just hasn't been scrapped.

Zach Wilson's ceiling is literally Patrick Mahomes

Come on, Zach Wilson, his ceiling is literally Patrick Mahomes. That's a fact. If he plays to the best of his ability.

Al-Qaeda is the only one who could have written the Monday Night Football script

Running out with the flag... hard knocks... there was so much hope and hype. And, you know, talking about the NFL script, the only one who could have written that script is Al-Qaeda.