Valentine's Day didn't actually happen this year because it was the day after the Super Bowl

Go fuck yourself for putting Valentine's Day the day after the Super Bowl. That snuck up on everyone. Everyone had any idea that so if you got in trouble for forgetting Valentine's Day, just tell your significant other, literally everybody forgot about it. It didn't happen this year, basically.

The NFL should add a universal bye week in December to push the Super Bowl back to the Sunday before Presidents' Day

The universal bye should be enacted. We should push the season even a further week back so that we have the Monday after Super Bowl off with President's Day... you should have a bye week that there's no NFL football in one week sometime, maybe in like early December so I can get their Christmas shopping in, reset with their family.

Valentine's Day should be moved to the NFL bye week before the Super Bowl

The Sunday of the bye week actually should be Valentine's Day. It should, we should stop making it February 14th. It should just be whatever that bye week is before the Super Bowl when there's no football on TV for everybody to be distracted by.

I lied about destroying Vanny Woodhead; I have been keeping it for years

Technically it's destroyed. Legally it's chopped up. But I kind of... I didn't have the heart to chop it up, so I just been keeping it... I was like, every time it was an excuse I used to not follow through with chopping it up.

Zach Wilson's ceiling is literally Patrick Mahomes

Come on, Zach Wilson, his ceiling is literally Patrick Mahomes. That's a fact. If he plays to the best of his ability.

Al-Qaeda is the only one who could have written the Monday Night Football script

Running out with the flag... hard knocks... there was so much hope and hype. And, you know, talking about the NFL script, the only one who could have written that script is Al-Qaeda.