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Blake BortlesBlake Bortles

Banana boating over alligator-infested waters is not fun

[The St. John's River] is just infested with alligators. So we would literally be banana boating over alligators... [When we fell out] it was just like whoever was driving the boat was just like a frantic U-turn to come and pick us up. That doesn't sound like fun.

Subjective assessment of the 'fun' levels of potentially being eaten by alligators.

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Void
Aug 19, 2016
#4889
PFT CommenterPFT Commenter

The Ryan Lochte robbery incident in Rio is like the worst Jason Bourne movie of all time

Since it's swimming, we get to watch this play out like the worst Jason Bourne movie of all time.

Void
Aug 19, 2016
#27869
PFT CommenterPFT Commenter

An unwritten rule of the 'bro code' is that you break it to save your own ass

That's an unwritten rule of bro code is that you break bro code to save your own ass.

Humorous take on social dynamics and 'bro' culture.
Win
Aug 19, 2016
#4890
Big CatBig Cat

The number one lie in sports is a coach claiming they aren't interviewing for other jobs

Number one [lie] is every time any coach anywhere says they're happy with their job and they're not interviewing. That's number one lie in all sports.

While hyperbolically stated as a 'fact', this is a common trope in sports media where coaches routinely deny interest in jobs they later take (e.g., Nick Saban, Lincoln Riley).

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Blake BortlesBlake Bortles

Shaving your head and growing a beard is the only move for balding men

Shave it and grow a beard... my thing was, which I held onto it for a while... and I finally got... I found this barber... He goes 'Dude you need to just shave your fucking head.' That's, yeah, I think you're right dude. It's tough. I shave it. It was just, you know, bullied me into shaving my head.

Personal style advice is subjective.
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Blake BortlesBlake Bortles

I quietly retired from the NFL and didn't tell anyone.

I did. I heard Hank mention that the other day and I appreciate that Hank, I have not touched a football since January. I quietly, I didn't tell anybody I retired. Probably just didn't tell anyone. So I guess you guys are kind of the first to hear it publicly.

Bortles did indeed retire and has not played in the NFL since the 2021 season.
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Blake BortlesBlake Bortles

Chris Simms is one of the people in sports media who hated me most

If there was one person that, that I don't even know, you know, who hated me... I would imagine like if you asked him, he would be like, 'Yeah, that guy sucked' was Chris Simms. [Simms] hated me. I saw, showed he me a list one time he ranked me as like the 47th best quarterback in the nfl and I was starting in Jacksonville.

Chris Simms was famously low on Bortles and did indeed rank him significantly lower than other starters during that period.

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